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Howard Hughes: Sometimes I truly fear that I... am losing my mind. And if I did it... it would be like flying blind. (Coyote Peter)
Howard Hughes: Little Howard likes citrus. (Coyote Peter)
Professor Fitz: Well, the cumulonimbus formations about which you speak that look like...
Howard Hughes: Giant breasts full of milk. I want clouds, damn it.
Professor Fitz: Yes, clouds that look like giant breasts full of milk, cannot exactly be guaranteed for any particular occasion. So you might have to... to wait.
Howard Hughes: Then we'll wait. Look, whatever they pay you at UCLA I'm doubling it, all right? You work for me now. Find some clouds. Find some clouds! Find me some clouds!
Hell's Angels Pilot: Welcome to Hell's Angels. (Coyote Peter)
Howard Hughes: I've been to Chatsworth, Santa Cruz, Encino, San Diego, Riverside, Van Nuys, and Bakersfield. It has been eight months! Where are my goddamn clouds, huh?
Professor Fitz: They move, Mr. Hughes! Clouds move. That's what they do. They move! (Coyote Peter)
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Noah Dietrich: Nice day.
Howard Hughes: Yeah, very funny.
Noah Dietrich: Listen, I got a call from Houston. They're getting real nervous about all this.
Howard Hughes: Stop showing them the damn bills, Noah.
Noah Dietrich: That would be illegal, Howard.
Howard Hughes: Shit, no. Maybe it's a little bit naughty. (Coyote Peter)
Landon: It will be a French fiesta and we'll party till the sun burns me. (Coyote Peter)
Brad: I'll have a gimlet, warm. (Coyote Peter)
Austin: Y'all ready to cram one down? (Coyote Peter)
Austin Powers: Jimi Hendrix deceased, drugs. Janis Joplin deceased, alcohol. Mama Cass deceased, ham sandwich. (Coyote Peter)
Dr. Evil: Do you like your quasi-futuristic clothes Mr. Powers? I designed them myself. (Coyote Peter)
Dr. Evil: Why must I be surrounded by frickin' idiots? (Coyote Peter)
Austin Powers: Shall we shag now, or shall we shag later? How do you like to do it? Do you like to wash up first? You know, top and tails... whores bath? Personally before I'm on the job, I like to give my undercarriage a bit of a how's your father! (Coyote Peter)
Alotta Fagina: Some sake, Mr. Cunningham?
Austin Powers: Sake it to me baby! (Coyote Peter)
Scott Evil: Well my friend Sweet Jay took me to that video arcade in town, right, and they don't speak English there, so Jay got into a fight and he's all, "Hey quit hasslin' me cuz' I don't speak French" or whatever! And then the guy said something in Paris talk, and I'm like, "Just back off!" And they're all, "Get out!" And we're like, "Make me!" It was cool. (Coyote Peter)
Scott Evil: It's no hassle...
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott Evil: But...
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott Evil: I'm...
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott Evil: All I'm say...
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott Evil: There gonna get a...
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott Evil: I'm...
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott Evil: I'm just...
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott Evil: Would...
Dr. Evil: Sh!... Knock-knock.
Scott Evil: Who's there?
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott Evil: But...
Dr. Evil: Let me tell you a little story about a man named Sh! Sh! even before you start. That was a pre-emptive "sh!" Now, I have a whole bag of "sh!" with your name on it. (Coyote Peter)
Austin Powers: I've been frozen for 30 years. I've got to see if my bits and pieces are still working. (Coyote Peter)
Austin Powers: That ain't no woman! It's a man, man! (Coyote Peter)
Vanessa Kensington: Mr. Powers, I would never have sex with you, ever! If you were the last man on earth and I was the last woman on earth, and the future of the human race depended on our having sex, simply for procreation, I still would not have sex with you.
Austin Powers: What's your point, Vanessa? (Coyote Peter)
Dr. Evil: That makes me angry, and when Dr. Evil gets angry Mr. bigglesworth gets upset. And when Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset, people DIE! (Coyote Peter)
Austin Powers: She's the village bicycle! Everybody's had a ride. (Coyote Peter)
Austin Powers: That's Dr. Evil's cat!
Vanessa Kensington: How can you tell?
Austin Powers: I never forget a pussy... cat. (Coyote Peter)
Quartermaster Clerk: One Swedish-made penis enlarger.
Austin Powers: [to Vanessa] That's not mine.
Quartermaster Clerk: One credit card receipt for Swedish-made penis enlarger signed by Austin Powers.
Austin Powers: I'm telling ya baby, that's not mine.
Quartermaster Clerk: One warranty card for Swedish-made penis enlarger pump, filled out by Austin Powers.
Austin Powers: I don't even know what this is! This sort of thing ain't my bag, baby.
Quartermaster Clerk: One book, "Swedish-made Penis Enlargers And Me: This Sort of Thing Is My Bag Baby", by Austin Powers. (Coyote Peter)
Vanessa Kensington: Look, I know I'm being neurotic, but I can't shake off this suspicious feeling about Miss Fagina. I don't want to sound paranoid, but I've had some bad relationships in the past, and I have been known to be jealous. I'm sorry.
Austin Powers: No, don't be sorry, baby. You're right to be suspicious. I shagged her.
Vanessa Kensington: Did you used protection ?
Austin Powers: Of course. I had my 9mm automatic.
Vanessa Kensington: You know I meant, did you use a condom?
Austin Powers: No, only sailors wear condoms baby.
Vanessa Kensington: Not in the '90s Austin.
Austin Powers: Well they should, those filthy beggars. They go from port to port. (Coyote Peter)
Austin Powers: Yeah, baby, yeah (Coyote Peter)
Dr. Evil: The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it. (Coyote Peter)
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