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  • Basher: See, when a nuclear weapon detonates it unleashes an electromagnetic pulse which shuts down any power source within its blast radius. Now that tends not to matter in most cases because a nuclear weapon usually destroys everything you might need power for anyway. A pinch creates a similar electromagnetic pulse, but without the fuss of mass destruction and death. So instead of Hiroshima, you'd be getting the seventeenth century. (Ace Goodman)
  • [teaching poker to young actors]
    Rusty: Barry, your turn.
    Barry Watson: Uh... four.
    Rusty: You don't want four. You want to fold.
    Barry Watson: I do? Is that a good thing? (Ace Goodman)
  • Virgil Malloy: Are you a man?
    Turk Malloy: Yes, nineteen.
    Virgil Malloy: Are you alive?
    Turk Malloy: Yes, eighteen.
    Virgil Malloy: Evel Knievel.
    Turk Malloy: ...shit. (Ace Goodman)
  • [Yen does the real somersault]
    Frank: Ten says he shorts it.
    Livingston: No bet. (Ace Goodman)
  • Turk Malloy: Ten says he shorts it.
    Frank, Livingston, Saul: Twenty! (Ace Goodman)
  • Terry: Well, then inform Mr. Levin that he'll be better off watching the fight in front of his television at home... Surely *he* must have HBO. (Ace Goodman)
  • Danny: All right.
    [Bruiser punches Danny]
    Danny: Ahh! Jesus, Bruiser, not until later!
    Bruiser: Sorry Danny, I forgot.
    Danny: It's all right. (Ace Goodman)
  • Terry: All right. Now I have complied with your every request, would you agree?
    Rusty: I would.
    Terry: Good, 'cause now I have one of my own. Run and hide, asshole. Run and hide. If you should be picked up next week buying a hundred-thousand dollar sports car in Newport Beach, I am going to be supremely disappointed. Because I want my people to find you, and when they do, rest assured we are not going to hand you over to the police. So my advice to you again is this: run and hide. That is all that I ask. (Ace Goodman)
  • [in a safe heist]
    Basher: All right chaps. Hang on to your knickers.
    [He triggers the bomb, and the safe door cracks open. Laughing, Basher dances into the vault - and the alarm goes off]
    Basher: Oh leave it out! You tossers! You had one job to do! (Ace Goodman)
  • Shane West: Hit me.
    Rusty: It's not blackjack. (Ace Goodman)
  • Rusty: Shane, you've got three pairs. You can't have six cards! You can't have six cards in a five-card game! (Ace Goodman)
  • Linus: This is the best part of my day. (Ace Goodman)
  • Danny: We'll need Saul.
    Rusty: He won't do it. He got out of the game a year ago.
    Danny: Religion?
    Rusty: Ulcer.
    Danny: ...You could ask him.
    Rusty: Hey, I could ask him. (Ace Goodman)
  • Reuben: You're Bobby Caldwell's kid. From Chicago. It's nice there, do you like it?
    Linus: Yeah.
    Reuben: That's wonderful. Get in the goddamn house. (Ace Goodman)
  • [discussing possible candidates for their crew]
    Danny: Phil Turenteen...
    Rusty: Dead.
    Danny: No shit. On the job?
    Rusty: Skin cancer.
    Danny: D'you send flowers?
    Rusty: Dated his wife for a while. (Ace Goodman)
  • Danny: I'm not sure what four nines does, but the ace, I think, is pretty high. (Ace Goodman)
  • Danny: How's your wife?
    Bruiser: Pregnant again.
    Danny: Well, that happens. (Ace Goodman)
  • Parole Board Member #1: Mr Ocean, the purpose of this hearing is to determine, whether, if released, you are likely to break the law again. While this was your first conviction, you have been implicated, though never charged, in over a dozen other confidence tricks and frauds. What can you tell us about those?
    Danny: As you say, ma'am, I was never charged.
    Parole Board Member #2: Mr Ocean, what we're trying to find out is was there a reason you chose to commit this crime, or was there a reason you simply got caught this time.
    Danny: My wife left me. I was upset. I fell into a self-destructive pattern.
    Parole Board Member #3: If released, is it likely you'd fall back into a similar pattern?
    Danny: She already left me once. I don't think she'd do it again just for kicks. (Ace Goodman)
  • Topher Grace: Fellas! Fellas! Check this... all... reds! (Ace Goodman)
  • Reuben: He'll kill you, then he'll go to work on you. (Ace Goodman)
  • Rusty: What's with the orange?
    Saul: My doctor says I need vitamins.
    Rusty: So why don't you take vitamins?
    Saul: You come here to give me a physical? (Ace Goodman)
  • Danny: You gotta walk before you crawl.
    Rusty: Reverse that. (Ace Goodman)
  • Linus: Apparently, he's got a record longer than my... well, it's long. (Ace Goodman)
  • Basher: It will be nice working with proper villains again! (Ace Goodman)
  • Linus: Smash and grab job, huh?
    Rusty: Slightly more complicated than that.
    Linus: Well, yeah. (Ace Goodman)
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