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Quotes about unknown
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Peter Gibbons: Um, the 7-Eleven, right? You take a penny from the tray.
Joanna: From the crippled children?
Peter Gibbons: No, that's the jar. I'm talking about the tray, the pennies for everybody. (Coyote Peter)
Peter Gibbons: Look, I don't know about you guys, but I'm tired of being pushed around. Aren't you?
Samir: Yes, Peter, but I'm not going to do anything illegal.
Peter Gibbons: Samir, this is America. (Coyote Peter)
Lawrence: Doesn't that chick look like Anne?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah, a little bit...
Lawrence: Hey, she hasn't been over here in a while. You two still goin' out?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah. I guess... I don't know. Sometimes I get this feeling like she's cheating on me.
Lawrence: Yeah, I get that feeling too, man.
Peter Gibbons: What do you mean by that?
Lawrence: I don't know, man. I just get that feeling lookin' at her like she's the type of chick that just... (Coyote Peter)
Michael Bolton: You think the pet rock was a really great idea?
Tom Smykowski: Sure it was. The guy made a million dollars. You know, I had an idea like that once. A long time ago.
Peter Gibbons: Really, what was it, Tom?
Tom Smykowski: Well, all right. It was a "Jump to Conclusions" mat. You see, it would be this mat that you would put on the floor, and it would have different conclusions written on it that you could jump to. (Coyote Peter)
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Milton Waddams: The ratio of people to cake is too big. (Coyote Peter)
Bill Lumbergh: Ahh, I'm going to have to go ahead and ask you to come in on Sunday, too... (Coyote Peter)
Michael Bolton: You haven't even been showing up for work, and you got to keep your job.
Peter Gibbons: Actually I'm being promoted. (Coyote Peter)
Peter Gibbons: Let me ask you something. When you come in on Monday, and you're not feelin' real well, does anyone ever say to you, 'Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays'?
Lawrence: No. No, man. Shit, no, man. I believe you'd get your ass kicked sayin' something like that, man. (Coyote Peter)
Samir: Back up in your ass with the resurrection. (Coyote Peter)
[Peter, Michael and Samir are trying to figure out how to launder money]
Peter Gibbons: I can't believe what a bunch of nerds we are. We're looking up "money laundering" in the dictionary. (Coyote Peter)
Lawrence: [as Peter leaves to confess to Lumbergh about stealing money, knowing he may go to prison] Peter... watch out for your cornhole, man... (Coyote Peter)
Michael Bolton: You were supposed to come in Saturday. What were you doing?
Peter Gibbons: Michael, I did nothing. I did absolutely nothing, and it was everything I thought it could be. (Coyote Peter)
Tom Smykowski: Well-well look. I already told you: I deal with the god damn customers so the engineers don't have to. I have people skills; I am good at dealing with people. Can't you understand that? What the hell is wrong with you people? (Coyote Peter)
Milton Waddams: Mr. Lumbergh told me to talk to payroll and payroll told me to talk to Mr. Lumbergh and I still have not received my paycheck and they moved my desk to storage room B and there was garbage on it. (Coyote Peter)
Milton Waddams: I was told that I could listen to the radio at a reasonable volume from nine to eleven, I told bill that if Sandra is going to listen to her headphones while she's filing then I should be able to listen to the radio while I'm collating so I don't see why I should have to turn down the radio because I enjoy listening at a reasonable volume from nine to eleven. (Coyote Peter)
Rob Newhouse: You know, minimum security prison is no picnic. I had a client in there once. He said the trick is kick someone's ass the first day, or become somebody's bitch. Then everything will be all right. (Coyote Peter)
Bill Lumbergh: Oh, and next Friday... is Hawaiian shirt day... so, you know, if you want to you can go ahead and wear a Hawaiian shirt and jeans. (Coyote Peter)
Samir: Mother... shitter... Son of an... ass. I just... (Coyote Peter)
Bob Porter: We'll be getting rid of these people here... First, Mr. Samir Naga... Naga... Naga... Not gonna work here anymore, anyway. (Coyote Peter)
Peter Gibbons: Doesn't it bother you that you have to get up in the morning and you have to put on a bunch of pieces of flair?
Joanna: Yeah, but I'm not about to go in and start taking money from the register.
Peter Gibbons: Well, maybe you should. You know, the Nazis had pieces of flair that they made the Jews wear. (Coyote Peter)
Peter Gibbons: What am I gonna do with 40 subscriptions to Vibe? (Coyote Peter)
Milton Waddams: Excuse me? Excuse me, senor? May I speak to you please? I asked for a mai tai, and they brought me a pina colada, and I said no salt, NO salt on the margarita, but it had salt on it, big grains of salt, floating in the glass...
Mexican Waiter: Lo siento mucho, senor.
[Under his breath]
Mexican Waiter: Pinche gringo.
Milton Waddams: [as the waiter walks away] And yes, I won't be leaving a tip, 'cause I could... I could shut this place down. Sir? I'll take my traveler's checks to a competing resort. I could write a letter to your nation's board of tourism and I could have this place condemned. I could put... I could put... strychnine in the guacamole. There was salt on the glass, BIG grains of salt. (Coyote Peter)
Bill Lumbergh: Milt, we're gonna need to go ahead and move you downstairs into storage B. We have some new people coming in, and we need all the space we can get. So if you could go ahead and pack up your stuff and move it down there, that would be terrific, OK?
Milton Waddams: Excuse me, I believe you have my stapler... (Coyote Peter)
Nina: Now Milton, don't be greedy, lets pass it along and make sure everyone gets a piece.
Milton Waddams: Yeah, but last time I didn't receive a piece.
Nina: Just pass.
[the cake passes and everybody but Milton gets a piece]
Milton Waddams: [whispering] I could set the building on fire. (Coyote Peter)
Milton Waddams: [talking on the phone] And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were merry, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire... (Coyote Peter)
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