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  • May Morrison: Can I do anything for you, Sergeant?
    Sergeant Howie: No, I doubt it, seeing you're all raving mad! (Ace Goodman)
  • Miss Rose: The building attached to the ground in which the body lies is no longer used for CHRISTIAN worship, so whether it is still a CHURCHYARD is debatable. (Ace Goodman)
  • Lord Summerisle: I think I could turn and live with animals. They are so placid and self-contained. They do not lie awake in the dark and weep for their sins. They do not make me sick discussing their duty to God. Not one of them kneels to another or to his own kind that lived thousands of years ago. Not one of them is respectable or unhappy, all over the earth. (Ace Goodman)
  • Willow: Some things in their natural state have the most VIVID colors. (Ace Goodman)
  • Harbor Master: Much has been said of the strumpets of yore / Of wenches and bawdyhouse queens by the score / But I sing of a baggage that we all adore / The landlord's daughter. (Ace Goodman)
  • Sergeant Howie: And what of the true god, whose glory, churches and monasteries have been built on these islands for generations past? Now sir, what of him?
    Lord Summerisle: He's dead. Can't complain, had his chance and in modern parlance, blew it. (Ace Goodman)
  • Lord Summerisle: Animals are fine, but their acceptability is limited. A small child is even better, but not NEARLY as effective as the right kind of adult. (Ace Goodman)
  • Prince: You know what you are? You're the prunes.
    Buzz Cameo: Prunes? You're the dunes.
    Prince: Yeah, you're the real prunes. (Ace Goodman)
  • Leon: [fantisizing with the clouds] I'm thinking dinosaur.
    Marshall Stouffer: Rabbit lying down.
    Leon: Could be a hog head. Big old skunk. Or a turtle. Chevy bumper.
    Marshall Stouffer: [narrating] Leon had been in the Air Force with my dad. They used to patch up fighter planes, then dad would take them up and test them. After the war, he followed my dad home, and lived with us ever since.
    Leon: [still trying to make out what a cloud looks like] Bushel Basket. Gold spud. Nope, definitely a rabbit lying down. (Ace Goodman)
  • Marty Stouffer, Sr.: Are you telling me what to do, son?
    Marshall Stouffer: No, dad. I'm asking you. (Ace Goodman)
  • Sarah, a British Hippy Girl: [gesturing her body in a sexy behavior] Devonshire cream: The creamiest cream.
    Mark Stouffer: They paid you for that.
    Sarah, a British Hippy Girl: It's not so easy. You try it with a camera in your face, and a cow sniffing around your bum. (Ace Goodman)
  • Marty Stouffer: [standing up to Mark] What's this? You're Marshall's protector? From asshole to angel? I must have missed the great transformation! (Ace Goodman)
  • Donna Jo: You guys are great. There's no way we'd see guys doing stuff like this at the University. Damn, all the boys do there is study or throw footballs. It takes an imaginative guys to think of something like this. The kind of guy who'd consider shooting out streetlights, quality entertainment. The kind of guy who'd risk his little brother's life for some stupid race. Don't be an asshole, Marty.
    Marty Stouffer: You're right, Donna Jo. It was stupid. It's a dumb idea all the way around.
    Donna Jo: Grow up! And when you do, give us a call. (Ace Goodman)
  • D.C.: [he and Marty both challenge each other to a very life-risking car race two times, and he loses both times; and college girls such as Donna Jo and Tanna are watching them] Let's go again!
    Donna Jo: Like hell you'll go again! (Ace Goodman)
  • Agnes Stouffer: If you boys have been throwing any more fire crackers in my pool again, I'm gonna beat your butts until your nose bleeds! (Ace Goodman)
  • Leon: What are you doin' Marshall?
    Marshall Stouffer: Flying, Leon!
    Leon: Well fly higher!
    [plane rises]
    Leon: Not this high!
    [plane rises again]
    Leon: Not this high!
    [plane rises again]
    Leon: NOT THIS HIGH! (Ace Goodman)
  • Marty Stouffer: No, Mom, he's fine, he just fell down a mountain. (Ace Goodman)
  • Matthew: Things don't have to be extraordinary to be beautiful, Even the ordinary can be beautiful. (Ace Goodman)
  • Alex: You want a cup of coffee?
    Matthew: Yeah, sure. Thanks.
    Alex: [rummages around in the kitchen] No. No. No. No.
    Alex: [comes back with coffee in two flutes of champagne glasses] He broke all my cups.
    Matthew: That's original. (Ace Goodman)
  • Matthew: I needed you to know.
    Rebecca: Know what? Know what, Matthew? That I'm not the girl who can break your heart? (Ace Goodman)
  • Lisa: Take my picture. I'm feeling beautiful tonight. (Ace Goodman)
  • Matthew: What would you do?
    Luke: I'd keep both of them and hope they don't find out about each other.
    Matthew: [laughs] Asshole! (Ace Goodman)
  • Alex: Love makes you do crazy things, insane things. Things in a million years you'd never see yourself do. But there you are doing them... can't help it. (Ace Goodman)
  • Matthew: What are you doing?
    Alex: Watching you sleep. (Ace Goodman)
  • Alex: Now you see me for who I am.
    Matthew: Yes I do. (Ace Goodman)
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  • Music is a very personal and emotional form of communication. (Trevor Dunn)