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Jimmy "The Tulip" Tudeski: Oz, do you know what kind of soil they have in this back yard? I've been here two days and I've got little tomato plants... Nicholas "Oz" Oseransky: Oh my God. (Ace Goodman) Jimmy "The Tulip" Tudeski: I think you should go with what you're comfortable with. Jill St. Claire: It's what James Bond uses. Jimmy "The Tulip" Tudeski: Really? Jill St. Claire: Yeah. (Ace Goodman) Nicholas "Oz" Oseransky: A minute ago. I was just gonna brush my teeth. Cynthia Tudeski: I'll wait. (Ace Goodman) | |
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Nicholas "Oz" Oseransky: Really? Janni Gogolack: No. (Ace Goodman) Nicholas "Oz" Oseransky: Anything. Cynthia Tudeski: You'll go slow. I haven't made love in five years. Nicholas "Oz" Oseransky: Neither have I. I've been married. (Ace Goodman) Nicholas "Oz" Oseransky: Only by marriage. (Ace Goodman) Nicholas "Oz" Oseransky: Believe me, you are the last person I would ever want to disappoint, but everything I everything I did, was for love. Jimmy "The Tulip" Tudeski: Yeah, whatever. (Ace Goodman) Nicholas "Oz" Oseransky: About loving you? Of course! What did you think this was all about? Cynthia Tudeski: [shrugs] Sex. I mean, GREAT sex... Nicholas "Oz" Oseransky: [chuckling] It was pretty good... is that all this has meant to you? Cynthia Tudeski: Don't get me wrong, Oz. I like you a lot... Nicholas "Oz" Oseransky: Well, that's great to hear, but I've got news for you. I don't generally go around risking my life for people who just like me. (Ace Goodman) Woman with Dogs: Yes, this is a Shar-Pei; it's a Chinese dog. Barney: [Barney pulls on the dog's wrinkled skin] Damn, you need to iron this dog, lady. Look at this! Woman with Dogs: No, stop, that's just how the dog is! Barney: Shit, you could fit two dogs in here! [he continues to pull on the dog's loose skin] Woman with Dogs: [Slapping Barney's hand away] No! Please, stop abusing my dog, you horrible man! Barney: You have any Vietnamese neighbors? Woman with Dogs: No, I don't think so. Barney: Well, if any ever move in, and you go on vacation, believe me, you're going to want to take Fluffy with you! You'll come back and your dog will be missing it's hind leg, saying 'where were you?' Woman with Dogs: Oh! That's horrible! You terrible, horrible man! Barney: You go next door and talk to your neighbor, and he'll be standing there, picking his teeth, 'No! We no see Fluffy! What your dog look like? Your dog have big, juicy hind leg?' Woman with Dogs: Oh, you awful man! Please, go away! Barney: Fine! I guess this means we can't be pals no more? (Ace Goodman) Woman with Dogs: Oh! You dreadful man! (Ace Goodman) Eddie Lipschultz: Hi! My name is Eddie, Eddie Lipschultz. I'm here because my mom's new boyfriend says I can't sleep in her bedroom anymore. I figured if I came to charm school, I might be able to... , there might be chance that I'd... , I could possibly... Barney: [interrupting] Get laid? Barney: [Eddie nods] I thought so. (Ace Goodman) Adm. Storey: No, he's... uhhh Mrs. Storey: He is my nephew. Barney: Ohhh, your nephew. He looks Iranian to me. You know my sister, Maria, she married an Iranian guy. And they are hairy son of a bitches. You know they got hair on their chest, their backs, their butts. We're talking Winnie the Pooh. We're talking Chewbacca, you know the guy in Star Wars who goes AHHHH! AHHHH! (Ace Goodman) | |
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