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  • Joe Clark: [at an assembly] I want all of you to take a good look at these people on the risers behind me. These people have been here roughly five years, and done absolutely nothing. These people are drug dealers and drug users. They have taken up space. They have disrupted this school. They have harassed your teachers. And they have intimidated you. Well, times are about to change. You will not be bothered in Joe Clark's school. These people are incorrigible. And since none of them could graduate anyway...
    [to those onstage]
    Joe Clark: ... you are all expurgated. You are dismissed! You are out of here, forever. I wish you well! Mr. Wright...
    [after Security Dean William Wright and Eastside's new guards eject all the "problem" kids from school, Clark's audience in the decaying auditorium grows silent]
    Joe Clark: Next time, it may be you. If you do no better than they did, next time it WILL be you. They said this school was dead, like the cemetery it's built on. But we call our Eastside teams "Ghosts", don't we? And what are ghosts? Ghosts are spirits that rise from the dead. I want you to be my ghosts. You are going to lead our resurrection, by defying the expectation that all of us are doomed to failure. My motto is simple: If you do not succeed in life, I don't want you to blame your parents. I don't want you to blame the White Man. I want you to blame yourselves. The responsibility is yours! In two weeks we have a practice exam, and on April 13th we have the Minimum Basic Skills Test itself. That's 110 school days from now. But it's not just about those test scores. If you do not have these basic skills, you will find yourselves locked out. Locked out of that American Dream that you see advertised on TV, and that they tell you is so easy to get. You are here for one reason. One reason only: To learn. To work for what you believe in. The alternative is to waste your time, to fall into the trap of crime and drugs and death. Does everybody understand that? Do all of you understand me? Then welcome to the new Eastside High. (Ace Goodman)
  • Dr. Frank Napier: Don, the man has a legitimate problem. How's he supposed to keep drug dealers out of his school if their buddies can just push open the exit doors and let 'em walk on in?
    Mr. Rosenberg: He's got a point, sir.
    Mayor Don Bottman: Rosenberg, this doesn't concern you. (Ace Goodman)
  • Joe Clark: [addressing teachers] You think you can run this school? If you could, then I wouldn't be here, would I? No one talks at my meetings. NO ONE! You take out your pencils and write. I want the names... of every hoodlum, drug dealer, and miscreant who's done nothing but take this place apart on my desk by noon today. (Ace Goodman)
  • Joe Clark: [at the first teachers' meeting] Mr. Zarella, you are my new head football coach. Mr. Darnell will be your assistant. Mr, Darnell, stand up. You know why you're being demoted, Mr. Darnell? Because I'm sick and tired of our football team getting pushed all over the field; thank you, sit down! I want PRECISION. I want a WEIGHT PROGRAM. And if you don't like it, Mr. Darnell, you can QUIT! Same goes for the rest of you. (Ace Goodman)
  • Joe Clark: [after asking teachers to put up their hands] Because you are failing to educate them, this is the posture that many of our students will wind up in. Only they'll be staring down the barrel of a gun! (Ace Goodman)
  • Joe Clark: [at school assembly before the skills test] And I've got a message out there for those people who have abandoned you and written you off. You are NOT inferior. Your grades may be. Your school may have been. But you can turn all that around and make liars out of those bastards in exactly one hour, when you take that test, pass it, and win! (Ace Goodman)
  • Mayor Don Bottman: What do you want?
    Leonna Barrett: Clark!
    Mayor Don Bottman: Just like that, huh? Head on a platter.
    Leonna Barrett: You think I got an attitude. Well, let me tell you what I think. I know why you like Clark. He's a guard dog. Does your dirty work. Keeps the black folk in line - that's fine. But you've got to get re-elected. I've got enough folks lined up with me to give you a DAMN hard time, and I will get more. I will organize. I will beat the streets.
    Mayor Don Bottman: Unless I do what?
    Leonna Barrett: Appoint me to the school board so we can vote Clark out. Otherwise, we'll just have to vote you out.
    Mayor Don Bottman: Vote me out? You know, it's always good to see citizens avail themselves of the democratic process.
    Leonna Barrett: My job's gonna be easy. You're not too popular these days, are ya? (Ace Goodman)
  • Joe Clark: Mr. Major, on behalf of myself and on behalf the students of Eastside High, you can tell the State to go to hell! (Ace Goodman)
  • Joe Clark: Don't talk to me about saving those kids. The mayor wants to save his budget. And you wanna save your ass!
    Dr. Frank Napier: Well, so what? You want the truth?
    Joe Clark: Yeah, Frank. Let's have some truth.
    Dr. Frank Napier: The truth is that for all your talking, all your 'Crazy Joe' routine, what have you ever done? Nothing. You're nothing but an insignificant man. It's like you were never born. Your life hasn't made one bit of difference, and neither has mine. Wanna take that to the grave? (Ace Goodman)
  • Dr. Frank Napier: [to Joe] It's like you're a Big Bird with radar. And I'm tired of getting hit! (Ace Goodman)
  • Joe Clark: [to the Eastside students who have gathered outside City Hall to demonstrate on his behalf] Wow... Somebody tell me why I can't get this kind of turnout for study hall! (Ace Goodman)
  • Joe Clark: [removing Sams' baseball cap] Hey, son... Put something in your head, not on it! (Ace Goodman)
  • Joe Clark: [to Kid Ray, who is leaving school to work for a crime syndicate] ... You'll be dead in a year, son. Hear what I'm saying? You'll be dead in a year! (Ace Goodman)
  • Dr. Frank Napier: [speaking to Clark] Brother, I will go through the... fire with you! But you are not taking over. This shit you're pulling now, you've just gone plain loco! (Ace Goodman)
  • Mr. Darnell: Mr. Clark, just what was that all about?
    Joe Clark: I said, "No one move, during the singing of the school song", If you can't understand that, find yourself another place to work.
    Mr. Darnell: I was picking up, a piece of paper.
    Joe Clark: You're the one who contradicting me, in front of my students.
    Mr. Darnell: They're my students, too.
    Joe Clark: THEY ARE MY STUDENTS, MR. DARNELL!
    Mr. Darnell: Just what are you tryin' to prove? I'm workin my ass off of you, too the demotion and I'm doin' my job! You just getting your rocks off, for treating me like trash!
    Joe Clark: No sir, that's what you're picking up.
    Mr. Darnell: [slamming the folders onto Clark's desk] God Damn it! YOU GIVE ME, THE GODDDAMN RESPECT, AND DAMN WELL OF YOURSELF,OR I WILL KICK YOUR BLACK ASS!
    Joe Clark: You are suspended sir, as of RIGHT NOW! GET OUT!
    Mr. Darnell: AHHH!
    [dumps Clark's desk on it's side] (Ace Goodman)
  • Joe Clark: [explaining why he expelled students from his school] They say one bad apple spoils a bunch. Well what about three hundred? Rotten to the core! (Ace Goodman)
  • Joe Clark: We sink, we swim, we rise, we fall - We meet our fate together. (Ace Goodman)
  • Joe Clark: [after bringing down a drug dealer] Get this disgrace to his race out of here! (Ace Goodman)
  • Clarence: [mimicking Mr Clark] Let me give you the key to my office.
    Francesca: Ooh, your office!
    Clarence: [puts his hand in his gym shorts] Whoa, THAT ain't the key! (Ace Goodman)
  • Mr. Rosenberg: Mr. Mayor it seems that Mr. Clark's students have assembled outside in an exercise of their first amendment rights.
    Mayor Don Bottman: How many?
    Mr. Rosenberg: It looks like... all of them. (Ace Goodman)
  • Joe Clark: [at the first teachers' meeting] ... You are now my chief custodian, Reverend Slappy. You will scour this building clean. Any graffiti that goes up, comes off the next day. Is that clear? Detention students can help you. Let them scrub this place for a while, discover what a fine living you make doing this. And tear down those cages in the cafeteria! If we treat our students like animals, that's exactly how they'll behave! (Ace Goodman)
  • Thomas Sams: Hey, Mr. Clark, what did they get you for?
    Ms. Levias: What's the charge? What's this all about?
    Leonna Barrett: It's about someone finally stood up to this man, instead of taking his orders like a maid.
    Ms. Levias: How dare you speak about people like that? Who do you think you are?
    Joe Clark: Mrs. Barrett, if you think you can...
    Leonna Barrett: Shut up! You're finished!
    [holds up the tape recorder]
    Leonna Barrett: The school board's going to hear this at 7:00, and we are going to vote your black ass out!
    Thomas Sams: Yo, witch! Vote on THIS!
    [gestures angrily]
    Joe Clark: That won't help me, Sams. (Ace Goodman)
  • Joe Clark: [at lunch, in the cafeteria, Clark has singled out Sams] ... I want all of you to take a good look at this slovenly, sloppy boy - as an example of how NOT to dress. If you look like THIS in the morning, find some other clothes to wear. Self-respect permeates every aspect of your existence. If you don't have respect for yourself, you're not gonna get it from anyone else. (Ace Goodman)
  • Clarence: Everybody, c'mon! Let's just settle down, give her a chance to talk, she might actually have something to say! So, everybody just chill, settle down, and let's listen to the old loudmouthed wench! (Ace Goodman)
  • Maria: The Gospel chorus is for the blacks! Football for the blacks! Basketball, blacks!
    Maria: Look at me, I'm short! Can I play basketball? NO! The point is, you're ignoring us, and we're getting really ticked off!
    Joe Clark: You know, with a mouth like yours, YOU oughta study LAW!
    Maria: Really?
    Joe Clark: REALLY!
    Maria: He chained those doors to keep the drug dealers, to make us all feel safe!
    Maria: Now, you talk about the law, but you're twisting the law! The laws are made to protect the people, and that's what he's doing for us! (Ace Goodman)
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  • Look, I wasn't saying the Beatles are better than God or Jesus. ( The Beatles)

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  • Music is a very personal and emotional form of communication. (Trevor Dunn)