Young Noah: [at the Carnival] Who's that girl with Sara?
Fin: Her name is Allie Hamilton. She's here for the summer with her family. Dad's got more money than God. (Coyote Peter)
Layla Black: As I sit here, pondering my predicament on why the army men haven't gotten here to save me yet... The fear, that the big, fat, ugly mullet Indian is on his way here to kill me. (Coyote Peter)
Vance Lincoln: Remember, always compliment the hookers. I mean... these actresses, or however you'd like to refer to them. (Coyote Peter)
Fedul, Afonya's creditor: Afonya! Hey, friend call Afonya!
[talking to Afonya's guest]
Afonya's guest: He is not in.
Fedul, Afonya's creditor: Where is he?
Fedul's pal: He left.
Fedul, Afonya's creditor: How?
Afonya's guest: He left to collect potatoes.
Fedul, Afonya's creditor: Oh! I don't like such people
[talking to his friend]
Fedul's pal: Who is this?
[talking to Fedul]
Fedul, Afonya's creditor: Who are you?
Afonya's guest: Me? I'm a relative.
Fedul, Afonya's creditor: Give me ruble relative! Afonya ownes me a rubl!
Fedul's pal: Two.
[talking to Fedul]
Fedul, Afonya's creditor: Two! Two! (Coyote Peter)
Ned: Phil? Phil Connors? Phil Connors, I thought that was you. Now don't you tell me you don't remember me 'cause I sure as heckfire remember you.
Phil: Not a chance.
Ned: Ned... Ryerson. "Needlenose Ned"? "Ned the Head"? C'mon, buddy. Case Western High. I did the whistling belly-button trick at the high school talent show? Bing. Ned Ryerson, got the shingles real bad senior year, almost didn't graduate? Bing, again. Ned Ryerson, I dated your sister Mary Pat a couple of times until you told me not to anymore? Well?
Phil: Ned Ryerson?
Ned: BING.
Phil: Bing. (Coyote Peter)
Phil: People like blood sausage too, people are morons. (Coyote Peter)
Phil: This is one time where television really fails to capture the true excitement of a large squirrel predicting the weather. (Coyote Peter)
Phil: This is Nancy Taylor, she makes sounds like a chipmunk when she gets really excited. (Coyote Peter)
[sitting outside the local bank]
Phil: A gust of wind.
[a gust of wind blows]
Phil: A dog barks.
[a dog barks in the distance]
Phil: Cue the truck.
[an armored truck drives up]
Phil: Exit Herman; walk out into the bank.
[Herman gets out of the armored truck and walks into the bank]
Phil: Exit Felix, and stand there with a not-so-bright look on your face.
[Felix gets out of truck and stands there]
Phil: All right, Doris, come on. Hey, fix your bra, honey... That's better.
[Doris walks up fixing her outfit]
Phil: [impersonating Doris] Felix.
[Doris says, "Felix"]
Phil: [impersonating Felix] How ya doin' Doris?
[Felix asks Doris a question]
Phil: [impersonating Doris] Can I have a roll of quarters?
[Doris asks Felix for a roll of quarters]
Phil: [Phil stands up and begins to walk towards the armored car, counting to himself]
Phil: 10, 9, 8, car...
[a car drives in front of Phil]
Phil: ...6, 5, quarters...
[roll of quarters breaks open, hitting the ground]
Phil: ...3, 2...
[Phil reaches over Felix and takes a bag of money out of the back of the armored truck]
Herman: Felix, did I bring out two bags or one?
Felix: I dunno. (Coyote Peter)
Nurse: Sometimes, people just die.
Phil: Not today. (Coyote Peter)
Doris: Do you want more coffee, hon? (Coyote Peter)
Gus: Phil? Like the groundhog Phil?
Phil: Yeah, like the groundhog Phil.
Gus: Look out for your shadow there, buddy.
Phil: Morons, your bus is leaving. (Coyote Peter)
Phil Connors: This is pitiful. A thousand people freezing their butts off waiting to worship a rat. What a hype. Well, it used to mean something in this town. They used to pull the hog out, and they used to *eat* it. You're hypocrites, all of you! You have a problem with what I'm saying, Larry?
[Larry shakes his head "no."]
Phil Connors: Untie your tongue, and you come out here and talk, huh? Am I upsetting you, Princess?
[Rita shakes her head "no."] (Coyote Peter)
Phil: Don't mess with me, Porkchop. (Coyote Peter)
Phil: Ned, I would love to stay here and talk with you... but I'm not going to. (Coyote Peter)
Phil: When Chekhov saw the long winter, he saw a winter bleak and dark and bereft of hope. Yet we know that winter is just another step in the cycle of life. But standing here among the people of Punxsutawney and basking in the warmth of their hearths and hearts, I couldn't imagine a better fate than a long and lustrous winter. (Coyote Peter)
Phil: Come on, all the long distance lines are down? What about satellite? Is it snowing in space? Don't you keep open a line for emergencies or for celebrities? I'm both. I'm a celebrity in an emergency. (Coyote Peter)
Felix's Wife: Dr. Connors. I want to thank you for fixing Felix's back. He can even help around the house again.
Phil: I'm sorry to hear that, Felix. (Coyote Peter)
Phil: I've been stabbed, shocked, poisoned, frozen, hung, electrocuted, and burned.
Rita: Oh, really?
Phil: Every day I wake up without a scratch on me, not a dent in the fender... I am an immortal. (Coyote Peter)
Rita: Have you ever had dejā-vu?
Phil: Didn't you just ask me that? (Coyote Peter)
Piano Teacher: Not bad... Mr. Connors, you say this is your first lesson?
Phil: Yes, but my father was a piano *mover*, so... (Coyote Peter)
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