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Hamlet: Hey Claudius! You killed my father! Big mistake! Narrator: Something is rotten in the state of Denmark, and Hamlet is taking out the trash. Old Man: Stay thy hand, fair prince. Hamlet: [shooting him] Who said I'm fair? Narrator: No one is going to tell this sweet prince good night. Hamlet: To be or not to be? Not to be. (Ace Goodman) Danny Madigan: How'd you know someone was in there? Jack Slater: There's always someone in there. It costs me a fortune in closet doors. (Ace Goodman) | |
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Danny Madigan: You are gonna pay... Oooh, you gonna pay! (Ace Goodman) Frank: I'm out of here... (Ace Goodman) Danny's mom: Where have you been? The police called. You're not here. You're not there. Danny Madigan: Mom, I'm sorry, okay. Shh. Danny's mom: " Okay, shh?" There are 9 million kids out there with guns and that's all you have to say to me? "Okay, shh?" Will you get in here? Danny Madigan: Mom? You know how you always say you wish I had more friends? Well. Jack Slater: Hello Mrs. Madigan. Arnold Braunshweiger. (Ace Goodman) Danny Madigan: Don't shoot me. I'm Danny Madigan. I'm a kid. (Ace Goodman) Jack Slater: I agree with you. I think she should be working with us... under cover of course... (Ace Goodman) Jack Slater: I know I am. I'm the famous comedian Arnold Braunschweiger. Danny Madigan: Schwarzenegger! Jack Slater: Gesundheit. (Ace Goodman) Danny Madigan: That's what you always say! Jack Slater: I do? (Ace Goodman) Danny Madigan: Patients? Jack Slater: Look at the elbow of my jacket. What is it doing? Danny Madigan: Wearing thin? Jack Slater: Bingo! (Ace Goodman) Danny Madigan: From now on it's all gonna be downhill... (Ace Goodman) Jack Slater: Well I'm sorry to disappoint you but you're gonna live to enjoy all the glorious fruits life has got to offer - acne, shaving, premature ejaculation... and your first divorce. (Ace Goodman) Jack Slater: Leo "the Fart" is gonna pass gas one more time. (Ace Goodman) Benedict: [after Vivaldi leaves] It's behind the eight ball, you old fool! (Ace Goodman) Dekker: Slater! (Ace Goodman) Jack Slater: Silent but deadly! (Ace Goodman) | |
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