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  • Jack Twist: I wish I knew how to quit you!
    Ennis Del Mar: Well, why don't you? (Ace Goodman)
  • Ennis Del Mar: I'm gonna tell you this one time, Jack fuckin' Twist, an' I ain't foolin'. What I don't know - all them things I don't know - could get you killed if I come to know them. I mean it.
    Jack Twist: Yeah well try this one, and I'll say it just once!
    Ennis Del Mar: Go ahead!
    Jack Twist: Tell you what, we coulda had a good life together! Fuckin' real good life! Had us a place of our own. But you didn't want it, Ennis! So what we got now is Brokeback Mountain! Everything's built on that! That's all we got, boy, fuckin' all. So I hope you know that, even if you don't never know the rest! You count the damn few times we have been together in nearly twenty years and you measure the short fucking leash you keep me on - and then you ask me about Mexico and tell me you'll kill me for needing somethin' I don't hardly never get. You have no idea how bad it gets! I'm not you... I can't make it on a coupla high-altitude fucks once or twice a year! You are too much for me Ennis, you sonofawhoreson bitch! I wish I knew how to quit you.
    Ennis Del Mar: [crying] Well, why don't you? Why don't you just let me be? It's because of you that I'm like this! I ain't got nothing... I ain't nowhere... Get the fuck off me! I can't stand being like this no more, Jack. (Ace Goodman)
  • Ennis Del Mar: Hey, Monroe. Is Alma here?
    Monroe: Uh, yeah, she's in the condiments aisle.
    Ennis Del Mar: The what?
    Monroe: Uh - ketchup.
    [points]
    Ennis Del Mar: Thanks. (Ace Goodman)
  • Ennis Del Mar: It's a one-shot thing we got goin' on here.
    Jack Twist: Ain't nobody's business but ours.
    Ennis Del Mar: You know I ain't queer.
    Jack Twist: Me neither. (Ace Goodman)
  • Jack Twist: Tell you what... truth is, sometimes I miss you so bad I can hardly stand it... (Ace Goodman)
  • Jack Twist: Ever notice how a woman'll powder her nose before a party starts, and the powder it again when the party's over? Why powder your nose just to go home to bed?
    Randall Malone: Don't know. Even if I wanted to know, couldn't get a word in with Lashawn long enough to ask. Woman talks a blue streak. (Ace Goodman)
  • Alma Beers Del Mar: You know, your friend could come inside, have a cup of coffee...
    Ennis Del Mar: He's from Texas.
    Alma Beers Del Mar: Texans don't drink coffee? (Ace Goodman)
  • Jack Twist: I got a boy. Eight months old. Smiles a lot. (Ace Goodman)
  • Jack Twist: As for the marriage, we could do it over the phone. (Ace Goodman)
  • Jack Twist: God, I wish I knew how to quit you!
    Ennis Del Mar: Well, why don't you? (Ace Goodman)
  • Josh: Did we come all the way to Europe to get stoned?
    Oli: Hey, I came all the way from Iceland. (Ace Goodman)
  • Natalya: [after all the credits have rolled] I paid a lot of money for you, and then make you my bitch. (Ace Goodman)
  • Josh: You made reservations under the name of "The King of Swing"?
    Oli: Of course my horse. (Ace Goodman)
  • Josh: Why!?
    The Dutch Businessman: I've always wanted to be a surgeon. Can you guess why? Surgeon, he holds the very essence of life in his hands - your life. He touches it.
    [the surgeon places his hand on Josh's knee]
    Josh: Oh no no no no! Please just let me go, please!
    The Dutch Businessman: You want to go? Is that what you want? (Ace Goodman)
  • Man: [referring to the torture chamber] Be careful. You could spend... all of your money... in there. (Ace Goodman)
  • Paxton: Edward Saladhands just groped Josh! (Ace Goodman)
  • Ford: I'm a mentor. I'm not a hustler. I'm a conduit, I'm a circuit. Listen... Listen to me very carefully. My whole mission on this planet right now in relation to you is to introduce you to yourself. You know that. You're a deeply sexual human being. You have major erotic power. The easiest thing, and the most selfish, would be to convince you to lend yourself to one person, even if that one person was myself. That would be suffocating to you, and ignoble of me. That's what a hustler would do, and I refuse to hustle. I'm looking to lead you down the path of Ovid and Sappho, D.H. Lawrence, Edna Saint Vincent Millay, to say nothing of the whole hip-hop revolution. It's the path of the Bible: "Seek and you shall find. Know thyself". You're so ready right now to open yourself to discover your capacity for multiple men; multiple in the sense of at least a few. Maybe not at the same time, but sequentially. And - I know I'm getting ahead of myself here and you might not want to hear this because you're at least a year away from being there - but at some point you gonna be ready to explore women. And enjoy them. They already desire you all the time; you're just oblivious to it. But that's down the road, let's stick to the present for now: all that I'm asking is that you meet the Count...
    Vera: [interrupting him] Set it up.
    Ford: [not believing his ears] Really? (Ace Goodman)
  • Sydney Stanton: Your salvation doesn't interest me; mine does. (Ace Goodman)
  • David Randall: Dr. Frye, how's your heart?
    Dr. George Frye, Dean of Eastern School of Technology: [puzzled] Fine.
    David Randall: [to Dr. Tony Drake] You invented those electrocardiograms for my benefit! (Ace Goodman)
  • David Randall: Here it is: money to burn! (Ace Goodman)
  • Dr. Cole Hendron, Astronomer at Cosmos Observatory: [Presumably he wrote this line on a banner hanging over the Space Ark camp] Waste everything except TIME. Time is your most valuable commodity. (Ace Goodman)
  • Mary Ellison: I nearly froze to death in that damn plane. Why couldn't you have supplied some hot water bottles or an electrically heated suit? I thought you loved me.
    Major John Smith: Can't help what you think. (Ace Goodman)
  • Vice Admiral Rolland: Security? The word's become a bloody joke! (Ace Goodman)
  • Major John Smith: That was quick.
    Lt. Morris Schaffer: Fear lent him wings, as the saying goes. (Ace Goodman)
  • Major John Smith: Lieutenant, in the next 15 minutes we have to create enough confusion to get out of here alive.
    Lt. Morris Schaffer: Major, right now you got me about as confused as I ever hope to be. (Ace Goodman)
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  • Look, I wasn't saying the Beatles are better than God or Jesus. ( The Beatles)

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  • Music is a very personal and emotional form of communication. (Trevor Dunn)