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  • Action: What are we doin', poopin' around with dumb broads for?
    Graziella, Riff's Girl: I and Velma ain't dumb! Are we, Velma?
    Velma, Ice's Girl: No thank you.
    [snap]
    Velma, Ice's Girl: oo
    [snap]
    Velma, Ice's Girl: Ooo-belee-oo.
    Graziella, Riff's Girl: And you can punctuate it...
    Velma, Ice's Girl: Ooo. (Ace Goodman)
  • Maria: If Chino hurts him, if he touches him, I swear to you I'll...
    Anita: You'll do what Tony did to Bernardo?
    Maria: I love Tony.
    Anita: I know. I loved Benardo. (Ace Goodman)
  • Maria: [singing] I feel pretty, oh so pretty! I feel pretty, and witty, and gay! (Ace Goodman)
  • Tony: I- I didn't believe hard enough.
    Maria: Loving is enough.
    Tony: Not here. They won't let us be.
    Maria: Then we'll run away.
    Tony: Yeah, we can.
    Maria: Yes.
    Tony: We will...
    Maria: [singing] Hold my hand and we are halfway there, hold my hand and I'll take you there. Somehow! Someday! Some... (Ace Goodman)
  • Bernardo: I'd like to go back to San Juan.
    Anita: I know a boat you can get on! (Ace Goodman)
  • The Girls: [singing] I like to be in America, OK by me in America, everything free in America...
    Bernardo: [singing] For a small fee in America! (Ace Goodman)
  • Maria: All of you! You all killed him! And my brother, and Riff. Not with bullets, or guns, with hate. Well now I can kill, too, because now I have hate! (Ace Goodman)
  • Anita: You have your big important council. The council,
    [kiss]
    Anita: or me.
    [kiss]
    Bernardo: First one,
    [kiss]
    Bernardo: then the other.
    [Tries to kiss her, she pulls away]
    Anita: Ah, I'm an American girl now, I don't wait.
    Bernardo: Ah, back home women know their place.
    Anita: Back home little boys don't have war councils.
    Bernardo: Ah, but they do here. You want me to be an American, don't you? (Ace Goodman)
  • Riff: [singing] When you're a Jet, you're a Jet all the way! (Ace Goodman)
  • Riff: Boy, am I a victim of disappointment in you. (Ace Goodman)
  • Maria: My brother is a silly watchdog!
    Bernardo: Ah, my sister is a precious jewel!
    Anita: What am I, cut glass? (Ace Goodman)
  • Riff: Look, Tony, I've never asked the time of day from a clock but I'm asking you, come to the dance tonight. I already told the gang you'd be there. If you don't show I'll be marked lousy.
    Tony: What time?
    Riff: Ten.
    Tony: Ten it is.
    Riff: Womb to tomb!
    Tony: Birth to Earth. And I'll live to regret this.
    Riff: Who knows? Maybe what you've been waitin' on will be twitchin at the dance tonight.
    Tony: Who knows? Could be... Who knows? (Ace Goodman)
  • Tony: Well end your suffering little man. Why don't you pack up your gear and clear out of here? (Ace Goodman)
  • Riff: Now I know Tony like I know me and I guarentee you can count him in
    Action: In, out, let's get crackin'
    Gee-tar: Where you gonna find Bernardo?
    Riff: He'll be at the dance tonight at the gym
    A-Rab: But the gym's neutral territory
    Riff: A-rab, I'm gonna make nice with him! I'm only gonna challenge him!
    Ice: Great daddy-o. (Ace Goodman)
  • Judge Roy W. Bean: Don't spill none of that liquor, son. It eats right into the bar. (Ace Goodman)
  • Judge Roy W. Bean: Shad Wilkins, you've been tried and found guilty of the most serious crime west of the Pecos, to wit: shooting a steer. Do you got anything to say for yourself before the sentence of the court is executed?
    Shad Wilkins: I told you they shot at me first. I didn't mean to kill that steer on purpose. I was aiming at the man.
    Judge Roy W. Bean: It's your bad luck you missed him. That's the trouble with you sodbusters...you can't shoot straight. Shad, may the Lord have mercy on your soul. (Ace Goodman)
  • Ens. Jan Gryczman: Why are you shaking? You came here to fight! (Ace Goodman)
  • Sgt. Leonard Piotrowski: This is Major Sucharski. Commandant of Westerplatte.
    Col. Henke: Colonel Henke. Congratulations Major.
    [salute]
    Col. Henke: Can I ask you why you capitulated? Was it the last assault?
    Sgt. Leonard Piotrowski: He's asking what has compelled us to surrender... whether it was their last assault?
    Maj. Henryk Sucharski: No. We repelled the last assault
    Col. Henke: May we visit your stronghold?
    German Soldier: There they are, the bandits!
    Col. Henke: It was worth to fighting for so long? (Ace Goodman)
  • Robot Gunslinger: [to Peter Martin] Sloppy with your drink?
    [to the bartender]
    Robot Gunslinger: Get this boy a bib! (Ace Goodman)
  • Interviewer of Delos Guests: [voiceover] Why don't you make arrangements to take our hovercraft to Medieval World, Roman World and Westworld. Contact us today, or see your travel agent. Boy, have we got a vacation for you. (Ace Goodman)
  • Interviewer of Delos Guests: Hi. Ed Ramsey from Delos. If there's anyone who doesn't know what Delos is, well, as we've always said: Delos is the vacation of the future, today. At Delos, you get your choice of the vacation you want. There's Medieval World, Roman World and, of course, Westworld. Let's talk to some of the people who've been there. (Ace Goodman)
  • Peter Martin: You talk too much.
    Robot Gunslinger: You say something boy?
    Peter Martin: I said you talk too much.
    Robot Gunslinger: Try to make me shut-up. (Ace Goodman)
  • Alan Shemper: I went to sleepaway camp so long ago, that it was the Stone Age. No, but seriously, it wasn't the stone age... it was the Ice Age! No, really, it was the Stone Age. (Ace Goodman)
  • Beth: The phone! The phone! Where's the *fucking* phone? (Ace Goodman)
  • Coop: When we first started hanging out together this morning we were just friends, but things change, and I've fallen in love with you. I just know that if you gave me a chance, I could make you feel so good. So, I am coming, not as your buddy, and not as a co-counselor, but for the first time as a man, a man who loves a woman, and who wants to hold her and provide for her, and yes-have sex with her, but no seriously Katie, I love the way you laugh and I love the way your hair smells and I love it that sometimes for no reason you're late for shul, and I don't care that you're bowlegged and I don't care that you're bilingual, all I know is that I would have said no to every single person on your list because I've always wanted you. (Ace Goodman)
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  • Look, I wasn't saying the Beatles are better than God or Jesus. ( The Beatles)

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  • Music is a very personal and emotional form of communication. (Trevor Dunn)