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Johnny: Do you want me to lie?
Sarah: You're the only actor in the world who can't lie, Johnny. Even for the sake of your kids.
Johnny: What does that mean?
Sarah: If you can't touch somebody you created, how can you create somebody that'll touch anybody?
Johnny: What are you going on about?
Sarah: Acting, Johnny. And bringing something to life, it's the same thing. That's why you can't get a job acting, Johnny, because you can't feel anything.
Johnny: This baby's not Frankie, Sarah. (Ace Goodman)
Who wants to shake the hand of the first man to put it to America's sweetheart. (Ace Goodman)
An album is such a personal thing. It's something I always wanted to do. It's me doing me, singing as me. (Ace Goodman)
I don't know anyone who curses the way they do on the Sopranos. Not in an Italian household. I never said the word hell in front of my mother. (Ace Goodman)
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I'm a traditionalist. I have certain values I live by. (Ace Goodman)
People have an image of Italians. When I go somewhere in the world, I don't care where it is, when they look at me it's not about my intelligence. It's who can I beat up. (Ace Goodman)
The choreographer for the Milton Berle show wanted me to audition. I walked away from that. (Ace Goodman)
You don't have to be worried about labeling me. (Ace Goodman)
And so I missed those best years and I find it difficult for me, in groups, to be comfortable. (Ace Goodman)
I was not really as good as I should have been. (Ace Goodman)
Right now in California we gain 40,000 new acres of desert every year, with all the building and the people coming in... housing going up like crazy. (Ace Goodman)
You can forgive yourself a great deal. (Ace Goodman)
In times of life crisis, whether wild fires or smoldering stress, the first thing I do is go back to basics... am I eating right, am I getting enough sleep, am I getting some physical and mental exercise everyday. (Ace Goodman)
Let us begin by doing our best to do our best, every single time, no matter what, forever. (Ace Goodman)
Some days it is a heroic act just to refuse the paralysis of fear and straighten up and step into another day. (Ace Goodman)
Sometimes you have to be selfish to be selfless. (Ace Goodman)
The simple act of caring is heroic. (Ace Goodman)
Dan Foreman: [picking up another phone to interrupt his daughter's phone conversation with her new boyfriend] Hello, this is Mr. Foreman. If you give my daughter an alcoholic beverage or a joint, I will hunt you down and neuter you. (Ace Goodman)
Carter Duryea: [about to be kissed] Uh, I heard this rumor... alcohol impairs your judgment. (Ace Goodman)
Carter Duryea: [during a lively board meeting, to a janitor in the back] I'm psyched! You - I don't know your name yet! What's your name?
Hector: I'm Hector... I just work maintenance.
Carter Duryea: Well, Hector,
[shouts]
Carter Duryea: Are you psyched?
Hector: I'm psyched!
Carter Duryea: Well, if Hector's psyched, then,
[shouts]
Carter Duryea: I know I?m psyched! (Ace Goodman)
Mark Steckle: ...You're being groomed...
Carter Duryea: I'm being groomed! Mark, thank you, thank you. I'm going to kick so much ass for you, I'm going to take no prisoners, I'm going to be your ninja assassin! (Ace Goodman)
Morty: I gotta get home for dinner. My wife is slowly poisoning me to death and she gets very angry if I'm late. (Ace Goodman)
Dan Foreman: Guys, I feel very terrible about what I'm about to say. But I'm afraid your both being let go.
Lou: Let go? What does that mean?
Dan Foreman: It means you're being fired, Louie. (Ace Goodman)
Morty: [after learning he's been fired] Dan, what the hell am I gonna tell my wife? I mean she already wears the pants, now she's gonna wear the tie and jacket too. (Ace Goodman)
Carter Duryea: [Alex dims the lights, turns on soft music, and lights incense] Well, it looks like everything is perfect.
Alex Foreman: So why are you still talking? (Ace Goodman)
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