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  • Elsie: Wait! Wait!
    [Miss Ernst and the others stop and turn around]
    Elsie: I smell... dogs droppings.
    [all the witches gasp and begin to sniff around]
    Woman in Black: Ugh! The smell!
    Miss Eva Ernst: She's right! Search out this small ampitheatre! Find it! It must be exterminated immediatly! (Ace Goodman)
  • Miss Eva Ernst: You may remove your shoes! You may remove your wigs!
    [Grabs her wig with one hand and pulls her face mask down to her eyebrows with the other]
    Miss Eva Ernst: The doors- are they locked and bolted?
    Miss Irvine: Locked and bolted, your Grandness.
    Miss Eva Ernst: Good. Help. (Ace Goodman)
  • Elsie: Is she sober?
    [Marlene is crying hysterically]
    Mr. Stringer: Yes she's sober! I've been with her all aftern... When... I... Uh... I saw her w... Yes of course she's sober! Don't be stupid! (Ace Goodman)
  • Nicola: Welcome Miss Ernst. Nicola Cuttle.
    [Approaches and shakes Miss Ernst's hand]
    Nicola: I have been so looking forward to meeting you. You look marvelous.
    Miss Eva Ernst: Hm... I wish I could say the same for you, Nicola. (Ace Goodman)
  • Marlene: Evening madam. Just poppin' in to turn down your bed.
    Miss Eva Ernst: [to Miss Irvine] How is the room service here?
    Miss Irvine: Diabolical.
    Miss Eva Ernst: Good.
    Miss Irvine: How do you know that woman upstairs?
    Miss Eva Ernst: Come along. Walk downstairs. The elevator is out of order. (Ace Goodman)
  • Miss Eva Ernst: What are you doing here?
    Miss Irvine: The banquet, Miss Ernst.
    Miss Eva Ernst: No, no, no, no! You must go to your room and prepare for...
    Mr. Jenkins: Hello!
    Miss Eva Ernst: ...tomorrows flight. Yes.
    [Waves to Mr. Jenkins]
    Miss Eva Ernst: Have a good flight.
    Miss Irvine: But it's our banquet!
    Miss Eva Ernst: You are not here to enjoy yourself, you are here as my staff! Go to your room- NOW!
    Miss Irvine: ...I quite! (Ace Goodman)
  • Ruby Summers: Why, you overgrown, dime-a-dozen wiseacre pig-puss! Who made your clothes? Or did you grow 'em yourself? (Ace Goodman)
  • Ruby Summers: How did he get in here? Through what rat hole? (Ace Goodman)
  • Ruby Summers: Did you tell him?
    Andy Clark: Uh huh.
    Ruby Summers: How did he take it?
    Andy Clark: Straight out of the bottle. (Ace Goodman)
  • Bugs Bunny: You know, I wouldn't be a bit surprised if it was me that tricked you. (Ace Goodman)
  • Elmer Fudd: [after nailing a board over Bugs's hole] That'll hold him alwight, heh heh heh heh heh.
    Bugs Bunny: [opens the board over his hole, imitating Elmer] That'll him him alwight, heh heh heh heh heh. Phooey! (Ace Goodman)
  • Elmer Fudd: [in jail] Well, anyway, I'm wid of that gwizzwy bear and scwewy wabbit. West and wewaxation at wast!
    Bugs Bunny: [on bottom bunk of Elmer's cell] Eh, pardon me, but how long ya in for, Doc?
    [chomps carrot]
    Bear: [on top bunk] Yeah, yeah, uh, pardon me, but how long ya in for, Doc? (Ace Goodman)
  • Elmer Fudd: Westful wetweat - Bawoney! I'll show you. Take that!
    Elmer Fudd: And that! And that! And that! Peace and wewaxation, huh? Wubbish! Take that! And that! And that! And...
    [Turns to see a park ranger glowering over him; Elmer grins]
    Elmer Fudd: Hewo. Heh heh heh heh. (Ace Goodman)
  • Bugs Bunny: Welcome to Jellostone National Park, Doc. A restful retreat.
    [Aside]
    Bugs Bunny: Oh, brother. (Ace Goodman)
  • Bugs Bunny: [Elmer is chasing Bugs around Elmer's grandfather clock,the clock then chimes] Happy New Year! Happy New Year! Yipee! Hooray! Happy New Year!
    [grabs Elmer's hands and starts singing "Auld Lang Syne",Elmer starts to sing, but then looks at the calendar,which says July.]
    Elmer Fudd: Why you....
    Bugs Bunny: [Bugs stops singing] Well, yipe again! (Ace Goodman)
  • Bugs Bunny: Hey, what are ya trying to do, kill me?! You're retching my skull! I'm gonna call Uncle Louie, that's what I'm gonna do!
    Bugs Bunny: [runs over to the phone and clicks the receiver repeatedly] Operator, operator! Hey, you got a nickel?
    Bugs Bunny: [Elmer hands him a nickel and Bugs puts it in his pocket] Hello, operator, operator! Gimme Walnut 3-3... Oh, is that you, Mert? How's every little thing? (Ace Goodman)
  • Bugs Bunny: [Bugs has just been locked outside. He prepares to bust the door down, but starts choking] Hey, I'm getting pneumonia! Open up! I'll die.
    Bugs Bunny: [frantic pounding on door] I'll die! No, I'm too young to die! Please... please let me in! Hey, this scene oughta get me the Academy Award.
    [resumes acting]
    Bugs Bunny: Say goodbye to Uncle Louie for me... Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
    [fakes death. Elmer then opens the door]
    Elmer Fudd: Uncle Louie?
    [see Bugs on the floor]
    Elmer Fudd: What have I done? $3 million all shot to pieces. (Ace Goodman)
  • Elmer Fudd: Good widdence to bad wubbish. (Ace Goodman)
  • Lawnmower killer: Death to all teenagers who fuck. (Ace Goodman)
  • Mrs. Doctor Graves: Poor Daddy's been under such a strain recently.
    Mary: If you ask me, he's acting like he just killed someone.
    Mrs. Doctor Graves: Mary! Your father's a doctor... He kills people every day. (Ace Goodman)
  • Stanley Motss: What did television ever do to you?
    Winifred Ames: It destroyed the electoral process. (Ace Goodman)
  • Conrad 'Connie' Brean: I'm in show business, why come to me?
    Stanley Motss: War is show business, that's why we're here. (Ace Goodman)
  • Conrad 'Connie' Brean: Would you go to war to do that?
    CIA Agent Mr. Young: I have.
    Conrad 'Connie' Brean: Well, I have, too. Would you do it again...? Isn't that why you're here? I guess so. And if you go to war again, who is it going to be against? Your "ability to fight a Two-ocean War" against who? Sweden and Togo? Who you sitting here to Go To War Against? That time has passed. It's passed. It's over. The war of the future is nuclear terrorism. It is and it will be against a small group of dissidents who, unbeknownst, perhaps, to their own governments, have blah blah blah. And to go to that war, you've got to be prepared. You have to be alert, and the public has to be alert. Cause that is the war of the future, and if you're not gearing up, to fight that war, eventually the axe will fall. And you're gonna be out in the street. And you can call this a "drill," or you can call it "job security," or you can call it anything you like. But I got one for you: you said, "Go to war to protect your Way of Life," well, Chuck, this is your way of life. Isn't it? And if there ain't no war, you can punch out, go home, and take up oil painting. And there ain't no war but ours. (Ace Goodman)
  • Stanley Motss: We're not gonna have a war, we're gonna have the appearance of a war. (Ace Goodman)
  • Stanley Motss: What difference does it make if it's true? If it's a story and it breaks, they're gonna run with it. (Ace Goodman)
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  • Look, I wasn't saying the Beatles are better than God or Jesus. ( The Beatles)

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  • Music is a very personal and emotional form of communication. (Trevor Dunn)