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Gretchen: Oh please. I hate my calves. Regina: At least you guys can where halters. I've got man shoulders. Cady: [voiceover] I used to think there was just fat and skinny. But apparently there's lots of things that can be wrong on your body. Gretchen: My hairline is so weird. Regina: My pores are huge. Karen: My nail beds suck. [pause. All look at Cady] Cady: I have really bad breath in the morning. Karen: Ew! (Ace Goodman) | |
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Regina: Gretchen, stop trying to make fetch happen! It's not going to happen! (Ace Goodman) Student: Yeah, that's true dude... (Ace Goodman) Aaron Samuels: No. Kevin Gnapoor: What are marijuana tablets? (Ace Goodman) Cady: Um... the Spice Girls? Regina: I love her. She's like a Martian! (Ace Goodman) Cady: I have to pee. (Ace Goodman) Janis: I don't know, now that she's getting fatter she's got pretty big jugs. (Ace Goodman) Janis: What does it say about me? Cady: [lying, because the book describes Janis as a dyke] You're not in it. Janis: Those bitches! (Ace Goodman) Damian: Hey, check it out. Junior Plastics. Cady: [voiceover] And if any freshmen tried to disturb that peace, well, let's just say we knew how to take care of it. [Imagines Junior Plastics being hit by a bus] Cady: [voiceover] Just kidding. (Ace Goodman) Betsy Heron: Do you remember your phone number? I wrote it down for you just in case. Put it in your pocket, I don't want you to lose it. OK? You ready? Cady: I think so. (Ace Goodman) Gretchen: What are you supposed to be? [Points to her headband] Karen: I'm a MOUSE. DUH. (Ace Goodman) Cady: They wanted me to get socialized. Damian: Oh, you'll get socialized all right, a little slice like you. Cady: What are you talking about? Janis: You're a regulation hottie. Cady: What? Damian: Own it. (Ace Goodman) [faux coughs softly] Karen: I'm sick. Regina: Boo, you whore! (Ace Goodman) Regina: Still true. Gretchen: Dawn Schweitzer is a fat virgin. Regina: Still half-true. Karen: Amber D'Alessio . She made out with a hot dog. Gretchen: Janis Ian-DYKE. Karen: [pointing to Damien in background of picture] Hey, who is that? Gretchen: I think it's that kid, Damien. Cady: Yeah, he's almost too gay to function. [Karen & Gretchen chuckle] Regina: That's funny, put that in there. (Ace Goodman) Gretchen: Who is? Karen: Who's this? Gretchen: Gretchen... Karen: Right... hold on. [Karen flashes over] Karen: Oh my god, she's so annoying. (Ace Goodman) Cady: I'm new. I just moved here from Africa. Regina: What? Cady: I used to be home-schooled. Regina: Wait... what? Cady: My mom taught me at home... Regina: No, I know what home-school is, I'm not retarded! So you've actually never been to a real school before? Shut up! Shut up! Cady: I didn't say anything. (Ace Goodman) | |
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