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  • Jamie: OK, so you don't care about classes or graduating, but you like school because you're popular and you'll never be on top again.
    Landon: That's thoroughly predictable.
    Jamie: Your act only works on an audience. (Ace Goodman)
  • Landon: I'm sorry she never got her miracle.
    Reverend Sullivan: She did. It was you. (Ace Goodman)
  • Landon: Are you scared?
    Jamie: To death...
    [Landon looks upset]
    Jamie: Lighten up.
    Landon: It's not funny.
    Jamie: I'm scared of not being with you.
    Landon: Oh baby, that will never happen... I'll be here. (Ace Goodman)
  • Mr. Carter: Landon, don't walk away.
    Landon: You taught me how. (Ace Goodman)
  • Landon: You, uh, feelin', Christian? (Ace Goodman)
  • Jamie: How can you see places like this... and have moments like this and not believe?
    Landon: You're lucky to be so sure.
    Jamie: It's like the wind. I can't... see it, but I feel it. (Ace Goodman)
  • Landon: All I know is... you're beautiful. (Ace Goodman)
  • Jamie: Please don't pretend like you know me, ok?
    Landon: But I do, I do. We've had all the same classes in the same school since kindergarten. Why you're Jamie Sullivan. You sit at lunch table 7. Which isn't exactly the reject table, but is definitely in self exile territory. You have exactly one sweater. You like to look at your feet when you walk. Oh, oh, and yeah, for fun, you like to tutor on weekends and hang out with the cool kids from "Stars and Planets." Now how does that sound?
    Jamie: Thoroughly predictable, nothing I haven't heard before.
    Landon: You don't care what people think about you?
    Jamie: No. (Ace Goodman)
  • Jamie: Are you trying to seduce me?
    Landon: Why? Are you seducible? (Ace Goodman)
  • Jamie: You have to promise you won't fall in love with me.
    Landon: That's not a problem. (Ace Goodman)
  • Landon: Right now, you're straddling the state line.
    Jamie: OK...
    Landon: You're in two places at once. (Ace Goodman)
  • Landon: I might kiss you.
    Jamie: I might be bad at it.
    Landon: That's not possible. (Ace Goodman)
  • Jamie: You know what I figured out today?
    Landon: What?
    Jamie: Maybe God has a bigger plan for me than I had for myself. Like this journey never ends. Like you were sent to me because I'm sick. To help me through all this. You're my angel. (Ace Goodman)
  • Dean: If there is a greater power, why is it he can't get you a new sweater?
    Jamie: Because, he's too busy looking for your brain. (Ace Goodman)
  • Ray Templeton: [after frisking a suspect and ending up by the suspect's rear end] Whoooo hooo! Somebody needs a bath! (Ace Goodman)
  • Sheriff Stan Watkins: [after Chris wins the election, he pulls up to address the police force] Sheriff.
    Chris Vaughn: Watkins.
    Sheriff Stan Watkins: You won the election. Congratulations. But we do have a tradition of professional courtesy up here. And I can personally vouch for each and every one of these men. They're good deputies.
    Chris Vaughn: You're all fired. (Ace Goodman)
  • One of Hamilton's guys: [to Ray] You stabbed me with a potato peeler! (Ace Goodman)
  • Ray Templeton: Yeah, casinos are all the same. Room full of fake boobs and real assholes. (Ace Goodman)
  • Chris Vaughn: Ray-Ray!
    Ray Templeton: Hello, puddin! (Ace Goodman)
  • Chris Vaughn: You're wrong. This is my town. (Ace Goodman)
  • Chris Vaughn: Search him.
    Ray Templeton: Oh.
    [he frisks casino guard]
    Ray Templeton: Woooo. You've been working out? (Ace Goodman)
  • Chris Vaughn: Get your tail-light fixed.
    Jay Hamilton: What's wrong with my tail-lights?
    [Smashes the tail-light with a 4X4]
    Chris Vaughn: It's broken. (Ace Goodman)
  • Title Card: Clarence the Clerk, one of nature's mistakes in a country where men were men. (Ace Goodman)
  • Aurora 'Rory' Van Dyke: [after getting caught on "Alone With An Old Bag"] I can explain
    Granville Van Dyke: I'd prefer that you didn't. I could never understand a darn thing you said anyway
    Aurora 'Rory' Van Dyke: [speaks gibberish] (Ace Goodman)
  • Danny: All riiiggghhhttt. (Ace Goodman)
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  • Music is a very personal and emotional form of communication. (Trevor Dunn)