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Corky St. Clair: I'll tell you why I can't put up with you people. Because you're bastard people. (Ace Goodman)
Libby Mae Brown: I been workin' here at the D.Q. for about, um... eight months? Seven? I don't know, somethin' like that, it's fun. Just do the cones... make sundaes, make Blizzards, 'n... put stuff on 'em, 'n... see a lot of people come in, a lot of people come to the D.Q... burgers... ice cream... anything, you know? Cokes... just drive in and get a Coke, if you're thirsty. (Ace Goodman)
Dr. Pearl: You have to go where the love is. And the love for me, right now, is in Miami, not Blaine. (Ace Goodman)
Corky St. Clair: You're squeezing your boobies out! (Ace Goodman)
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Corky St. Clair: How tall are you?
Johnny: 6'2.
Corky St. Clair: Really... Wow! (Ace Goodman)
Sheila: He's teaching me to change my instincts... or at least ignore them. (Ace Goodman)
Dr. Pearl: I'm walking on air... you know... this is a sensation which is... forget it. When I became a dentist, I thought I was happy, but this... (Ace Goodman)
Lloyd Miller: [whispering] I don't want to interfere, but I think it would be... I think we have to work on...
Corky St. Clair: I can't hear you!
Lloyd Miller: [normal voice] I think we have to work on the music a little bit more. But I don't want to make trouble. So,
[whispering again]
Lloyd Miller: and I don't really want to do this in front of them...
Corky St. Clair: Well, where do you want to do it?
Lloyd Miller: [whispering] Well, I think we have to sit down and make a schedule that includes some music time, because I think Jane and I have to work...
Corky St. Clair: Why are you whispering? I'm right here, you know?
Lloyd Miller: [raising voice considerably] Oh I'm sorry, do you want me to talk louder? Because I think that that it would be...
Corky St. Clair: Well now it's too loud! You know, just talk like a normal person, OK? (Ace Goodman)
Corky St. Clair: My first show was Barefoot in the Park, which was an absolute smash, but my production on the stage of Backdraft was what really got them excited. This whole idea of 'In Your Face' theatre really affected them. The conceptualization, the whole abstraction, the obtuseness of this production to me was what was interesting. I wanted the audience to feel the heat from the fire, the fear, because people don't like fire, poked, poked in their noses, you know when you get a cinder from a barbeque right on the end of your nose and you kind of make that face, you know, that's not a good thing, and I wanted them to have the sense memory of that. So during the show I had someone burn newspapers and send it through the vents in the theatre. And well, they freaked out, and 'course the fire Marshall came over and they shut us down for a couple of days. (Ace Goodman)
Corky St. Clair: People don't like to have fire poked... POKED in their face. (Ace Goodman)
Corky St. Clair: Well, then, I just HATE you... and I hate your... ass... FACE! (Ace Goodman)
Mrs. Pearl: We don't associate with the creative types. We have a Scrabble club. We associate with people with babies. (Ace Goodman)
Ron Albertson: Some people find it ironical that although we run a travel agency, we've never been outside of Blaine. (Ace Goodman)
Glenn Welsch: Blaine is the stool capital of the world. (Ace Goodman)
Ron Albertson: We consider ourselves bi-costal if you consider the Mississippi River one of the coasts. (Ace Goodman)
Corky St. Clair: It's a Zen thing, like how many babies fit in a tire. (Ace Goodman)
Ron Albertson: If there's an empty space, just fill it with a line, that's what I like to do. Even if it's from another show. (Ace Goodman)
Corky St. Clair: ...'cause you people are BASTARD PEOPLE! (Ace Goodman)
Dr. Pearl: People say, You must have been the class clown. And I say, No, I wasn't. But I sat next to the class clown, and I studied him. (Ace Goodman)
Corky St. Clair: Here's the Remains of the Day lunchbox. Kids don't like eating at school, but if they have a Remains of the Day lunchbox they're a lot happier. (Ace Goodman)
UFO Expert: I've been coming to this circle for about five years, and measuring it. The diameter and the circumference are constantly changing, but the radius stays the same. Which brings me to the number 5. There are five letters in the word Blaine. Now, if you mix up the letters in the word Blaine, mix 'em around, eventually, you'll come up with Nebali. Nebali. The name of a planet in a galaxy way, way, way... way far away. And another thing. Once you go into that circle, the weather never changes. It is always 67 degrees with a 40% chance of rain. (Ace Goodman)
Corky St. Clair: I was shopping for my wife Bonnie. I buy most of her clothes and Mrs Pearl was in the same shop! And it just was an accident you know, we started talking... about panty hose, she was saying... whatever that's not the point of the story but what the point is is that through this accidental meeting... it's like a Hitchcock movie you know where you're thrown into a rubber bag and put in the trunk of a car, you find people. You find them. Something, is is it karma? Maybe. But we found him, that's the important thing. And I got Bonnie a wonderful pantsuit. (Ace Goodman)
Corky St. Clair: It's like in a Hitchcock movie, you know, where they tie you up in a rubber bag and throw you in the trunk of a car. You find people... You find them. (Ace Goodman)
Corky St. Clair: It's like in a Hitchcock movie, you know, where they tie you up in a rubber bag and throw you in the trunk of a car. You find people. (Ace Goodman)
Sun Quan: The only thing you postpone in life... is death. (Ace Goodman)
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