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Quotes about unknown
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Lois Einhorn: What would you know about pressure.
Ace Ventura: Well, I have kissed a man. (Coyote Peter)
Ace Ventura: [bending over and talking from his behind] Excuse me, may I... ASS you a few questions?
Emilio: This is not the time, Ace. If Einhorn catches me talking to you or your ass I'm history (Coyote Peter)
Ace Ventura: [to Lt. Einhorn] Whew... now I feel better. 'Course, that might not do any good you see nobody's missing a porpoise. It's a dolphin that's been taken. The common harbor porpoise has an abrupt snout, pointed teeth and a triangular thoracic fin. While the bottlenose dolphin, or Tursiops truncates, has an elongated beak, round cone shaped teeth and a serrated dorsal appendage. But I'm sure you already knew that. That's what turns me on about 'cha, your attention to detail. (Coyote Peter)
Ace Ventura: Holy testicle Tuesday.
Lois Einhorn: What the hell is he doing here?
Ace Ventura: I came to confess. I was the second gunman on the grassy knoll. (Coyote Peter)
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Ace Ventura: She gets flooded, we'll just have to wait a second.
[suddenly the dog thief appears and smashes the back windshield with a baseball bat]
Ace Ventura: Or we could try it now. (Coyote Peter)
Ace Ventura: WOW., Ray Finkle's house, I can't wait to meet him
Mr. Finkle: Ray ain't coming home
Ace Ventura: But your wife said you expect him home any minute
Mr. Finkle: She expects him home any minute, see the engine's running but there's nobody behind the wheel. Eight years ago our son escaped from Shady Acres Mental Hospital in Tampa, and they're still bugging us to pick up his stuff. (Coyote Peter)
Ace Ventura: Hi-ho Silver! Away! (Coyote Peter)
Ace Ventura: [has just finished 'singing' for Cannibal Corpse] I gotta go guys! I gotta date with your mothers! (Coyote Peter)
Melissa: I swear if you do anything to embarass me this evening...
Ace Ventura: What? Like this?
[makes wierd noises,Doorman answers the door]
Ace Ventura: Good evening, Captain Stubing. How are Gopher and Doc this evening? Aaall righty, then. (Coyote Peter)
Mr. Shickadance: [comes from behind Ace] Ventura.
Ace Ventura: Yes Satan.
[turns around and sees Mr. Shickadance]
Ace Ventura: Ohh, I thought you were someone else. (Coyote Peter)
Ace Ventura: [has been trying to figure out a connection between Lt. Lois Einhorn and football player Ray Finkle, when he sees his dogs fur overlapping Finkle's hair in a photo] That's it. That's it! Einhorn is Finkle! Finkle is Einhorn! Einhorn is a man! Oh, my God! Einhorn is a man! (Coyote Peter)
Ronald Camp: Who is he, a friend?
Melissa: No, this is my date. He's a lawyer.
Ronald Camp: Well, does he have a name, or should I call him "lawyer?"
Melissa: No, this is Ace... um, Tom Ace.
Ace Ventura: Tom Ace. Pleasure to meet you. I was just telling Melissa that one of the first things we learned about back at... Stanford Law... was the modern proliferation of food poisoning claims against wealthy homeowners. In fact, if one were so inclined, one could make quite a lucrative law practice on little else. How is everyone feeling tonight?
Ronald Camp: [nervously] Very well, thank you. (Coyote Peter)
[Ace is standing in front of Lois who's in her underwear]
Ace Ventura: If the lieutenant is indeed a woman as she claims to be then she is suffering from the worst case of hemorrhoids I have *ever* seen!
[turns Lois around to reveal a bulge in her nether regions. All the males in the room proceed to lose their lunches because they have all been kissed by her/him] (Coyote Peter)
Melissa: Ace?
Ace Ventura: [Ace holds the phone away from his mouth and waits a second.] You really thought I was gone.
Melissa: [laughs]
Ace Ventura: Ok, now I'm really gonna go. (Coyote Peter)
Melissa: [in her office, she is showing Ace a video of the halftime routine performed by their missing mascot, Snowflake. She sees Ace chewing on either birdseeds or sunflower seeds, and spreading the leftovers in a neat pile on her desk.] Would you like an ashtray?
Ace Ventura: Hmm-mmm. I don't smoke. It's a disgusting habit. (Coyote Peter)
Ace Ventura: Do *not* go in there! Pheeww! (Coyote Peter)
Albus Dumbledore: This year Hogwarts will play host to a legendary event - the Triwizard Tournament. During which time a single student gets to represent his or her school in a series of magical contests. Eternal glory awaits the student who wins the tournament. (Coyote Peter)
Susan Storm: Look at me!
Reed Richards: I can't (Coyote Peter)
Johnny Storm: You know that looked cool! (Coyote Peter)
Susan Storm: Victor, you always thought you were a god.
Victor Von Doom: Let's not fight.
Susan Storm: No. Let's. (Coyote Peter)
[a heat-seeker rocket is heading towards them]
Susan Storm: [to Johnny] Don't even think about it!
Johnny Storm: Never do.
[he jumps off the Baxter Building]
Johnny Storm: Flame on! (Coyote Peter)
Doctor: Your entire biophysical structure is changing.
Victor Von Doom: That's terrible news.
[he kills the Doctor]
Victor Von Doom: I think I'll get a second opinion. (Coyote Peter)
Ben Grimm: It's clobberin' time. (Coyote Peter)
Susan Storm: You don't want to walk around on fire for the rest of your life, do you?
Johnny Storm: Is that a trick question? (Coyote Peter)
Nurse: [taking Johnny?s temperature which charges the electronic thermometer to 209 degrees] Whoa! You're hot.
Johnny Storm: Why, thank you, so are you. (Coyote Peter)
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[1789] | [1790] | [1791] | [1792] | [1793] | [1794] | [1795] | [1796] | [1797] | [1798] | [1799] | [1800] | [1801] | [ |
