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Derek Zoolander: Mugatu! J.P. Prewitt: [pauses] Slaves, Derek. So they hired John Wilkes Booth to do Mr. Lincoln in. The first model/actor! Dallas. 1963. John F. Kennedy. Matilda: Lee Harvey Oswald wasn't a male model. J.P. Prewitt: You're goddamn right he wasn't, but the two lookers who capped Kennedy from the Grassy Knoll sure as shit were! (Ace Goodman) Derek Zoolander: I know! I turned left! Matilda: No, you saved the prime minister! Derek Zoolander: Oh, well that's cool too. (Ace Goodman) | |
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Derek Zoolander: I can Dere-lick my own balls. (Ace Goodman) Derek Zoolander: If there is anything that this horrible tragedy can teach us, it's that a male model's life is a precious, precious commodity. Just because we have chiseled abs and stunning features, it doesn't mean that we too can't not die in a freak gasoline fight accident. (Ace Goodman) Larry Zoolander: For Christ's sake, Derek, you've been down there one day. Talk to me in thirty years. (Ace Goodman) [Derek glares at him] Hansel: Nice Comeback! Ha ha. (Ace Goodman) Derek Zoolander: A week? What, are you having a whack attack? I saw you this afternoon, dum-dum. Matilda: That was last Friday. Derek Zoolander: Uhh Earth to Matilda, I was at a day spa. Day, D-A-I-Y-E. Okay? (Ace Goodman) Meekus: Or like, doesn't, it's like, *ex-squeeze* me, but have you ever heard of styling gel? Brint: I'm sure Hansel's heard of styling gel, he's a male model. Meekus: Uh, earth to Brint, I was making a joke. Brint: Uh, Earth to Meekus, duh *I knew that*! Meekus: Uh earth to Brint, I don't think you did because you were all like 'well I'm suure Hansels heard of styling gel' like you DIDN'T know it was a joke! Brint: Earth to Meekus, I knew it was a joke ok, I just didn't get it at first! Meekus: Earth to Brint... Derek Zoolander: GUYS! Can we stop with the Earth tos! (Ace Goodman) Derek: How are we expected to teach the kids to read good... if they can't even fit inside the building? Mugatu: Derek, this is just a small... Derek: I don't wanna hear your excuses! Derek: The building has to be atleast... 3 times... that size! (Ace Goodman) [Derek looks at the model for a moment, then throws it on the floor] Derek Zoolander: What is this? A center for ants? How can we be expected to teach children to learn how to read if they can't even fit inside the building? (Ace Goodman) Derek Zoolander: Mer-man! [high-pitched cough] Derek Zoolander: Mer-man! (Ace Goodman) Derek Zoolander: Uhh, not as much as I'm worried about Gretel. (Ace Goodman) | |
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