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Idella: Livin'. Boolie Werthan: Where's that vacuum cleaner I brought over here? Idella: In the closet. Boolie Werthan: [turning to Hoke] She won't touch it. Idella: I would if it didn't give me a shock every time I come near it! Boolie Werthan: It works for me! Idella: Fine... you clean and I'll go down and run your office! (Ace Goodman) Daisy Werthan: [from upstairs] Alright Idella, see you tomorrow. Hoke Colburn: I'm goin' too, Miss Daisy. Daisy Werthan: Good! (Ace Goodman) Daisy Werthan: What are you doing? Hoke Colburn: I'm tryin' to drive you to the store! (Ace Goodman) Idella: [in the other room, polishing a table] Why don't you call your son down at the mill? He'll send somebody for you. Daisy Werthan: That won't be necessary... I'll just cancel the appointment and fix my own hair! Idella: Sometimes I think you ain't got the sense God gave a lemon! (Ace Goodman) | |
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Daisy Werthan: You know your letters don't you? Hoke Colburn: Oh yeah, yeah I know my ABC's pretty good, just can't read. Daisy Werthan: Stop saying that you're making me mad! If you know your letters you can read. You just don't know you can read. Hoke Colburn: Maam? Daisy Werthan: I taught some of the stupidest children God ever put on the face of this earth and all of them could read well enough to find a name on a tombstone. (Ace Goodman) Boolie Werthan: Don't worry Katie Bell, it's not QUITE the end of the world. (Ace Goodman) [laughs] Hoke Colburn: Oh, yeah, she flap around some, but she's all right, she in da store. Oh, Lord, she jus' looked out da window an' seen me on da phone... prob'ly gonna throw a fit right there at da checkout! [pause] Hoke Colburn: You sho' right about that! Only took me six days. Same time it took the Lord to make the world! All right, 'bye now! (Ace Goodman) Oscar: How the old lady treatin' you, Hoke? Hoke Colburn: Lord, I tell you one thing... she sho' do know how to throw a fit! [Hoke, Oscar, and Junior break out in laughter] Daisy Werthan: What's so funny? Hoke Colburn: Nothin', Miss Daisy. We jus' carryin' on. (Ace Goodman) Hoke Colburn: Well, if you don' mind my askin', sir, how come she's not hirin' for herself? Boolie Werthan: See, it's kind of a delicate situation. Hoke Colburn: Oh, yessir, yessir... done gone around the bend a little bit. Well, now, that'll happen as they get old... Boolie Werthan: Oh, no, she's all there. Too-much-there is the problem! [Hoke laughs] (Ace Goodman) Boolie Werthan: I suppose you don't get out to see her very much. Hoke Colburn: No, sir... it's hard not drivin'. Every now and then I takes a taxi cab, but don't too many taxis go out yonder. Boolie Werthan: I'm sure she appreciates it. Hoke Colburn: Yes, sir. [pauses] Hoke Colburn: Some days, she better than others... but then, who ain't? [Hoke and Boolie both laugh] (Ace Goodman) Boolie Werthan: Hoke, I thought about you the other day on the road. I saw an Avondale Milk truck. Monster of a thing, looked to have about eighteen wheels. Hoke Colburn: You don't say! Boolie Werthan: I was wondering how you'd like drivin' that thing around! Daisy Werthan: [to Boolie] Hoke came to see me, not you! Hoke Colburn: Look like one o' her good days! Daisy Werthan: Boolie, go charm the nurses! Boolie Werthan: [smiling] She wants you all to herself. (Ace Goodman) Hoke Colburn: I bet Miss Florene got 'em all beat with the new house. Daisy Werthan: If I had a nose like Florene's, I wouldn't go around wishing anybody a Merry Christmas! Hoke Colburn: [laughs] Yes'm... but, I tell ya, I do enjoy a Christmas at their house. Daisy Werthan: Of course, you're the only Christian in the place! Hoke Colburn: Well, they got that new cook. Daisy Werthan: [sighs] Florene never could keep help. Of course, it's none of my affair. Too much running around, if you ask me. [Hoke agrees] Daisy Werthan: The Garden Club this, the Junior League that... as if any of them would give her the time of day! But, she'd die before she'd fix a glass of iced tea for the Temple Sisterhood! Hoke Colburn: [coming up on Boolie's house, looking at the gaudy light display] Oh, Lord, look what Miss Florene done done! Daisy Werthan: If her grandfather, Old Man Friartack, could see this... what is it you always say?... he'd jump up out of his grave and snatch her bald-headed! Hoke Colburn: [bursts out laughing as he lets Daisy out] HA! Jump up outta his grave and snatch her bald-headed! Miss Daisy, you oughta go on away from here! (Ace Goodman) Idella: Dunno... can't be good, I promise you that! (Ace Goodman) Boolie Werthan: Hoke, I think we're gonna have to have a little talk. Hoke Colburn: All right, sir. Just let me get outta my coat. [pauses, then turns to Daisy] Hoke Colburn: Oh, Miss Daisy, yesterday, while you was out visitin', I went and ate a can of your salmon. Now, I know you said eat the left-over pork chops, but they was kinda stiff. So, I stopped at the Piggly Wiggly and got you another can. You want me just to go on and put it in the cupboard? Daisy Werthan: [embarrassed] Yes, that'll be fine... thank you, Hoke. Well, I guess I'd better get dressed now! (Ace Goodman) Chase: Ribbit. (Ace Goodman) Dulcie: I didn't expect you to fall into the Gap! (Ace Goodman) Chase: As a protest. Dave: Of what? Ray: People, right? Chase: Sheep. Ray: Check, Dave. We're doing this to protest sheep. Dave: And what specifically about sheep do we object to? Ray: Chase? Chase: General herding mentality. (Ace Goodman) Nicole: Well Ray left, but it's okay with me... I bet you can still catch him if you hurry. Chase: actually I wanted to dance with you. (Ace Goodman) Chase: Everyone Nicole... everyone. (Ace Goodman) Nicole: What? Mr. Hammond: Maybe we should think about this. Nicole: Okay, you think about it here and we'll think about it in the tree-house. (Ace Goodman) [Nicole and Chase give one another a surprised look] Mrs. Maris: Obviously, we all need to think about what this means. Nicole: Sure, well... tell you what. Why don't you two think about it here, and we'll go think about it in the treehouse. (Ace Goodman) Nicole: Moron. One eyebrow. Taking GEORGANNE WARNER. Failed health. Taking Sue. Taking Dee Vine. [She scribbles a guy's face out] Nicole: Refers to himself as "The De-Virginator". (Ace Goodman) | |
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