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  • Baby O: What's wrong with him?
    Cameron Poe: My first guess would be... a lot. (Ace Goodman)
  • Vince Larkin: Cyrus, where are you taking my plane?
    Cyrus Grissom: We're going to Disney Land.
    Vince Larkin: You're lying, Cyrus.
    Cyrus Grissom: So are you, Vince.
    [singing mockingly]
    Cyrus Grissom: Ohh... nothing makes me sadder than the agent lost his blader in the... aaaiirrrplane
    [throws the headset he's using] (Ace Goodman)
  • Cyrus Grissom: [holding a gun to Cameron Poe's head] Before I kill you, Poe. I just want you to know that the last thing little Casey Poe ever gets to smell will be *my* *stinking* *breath*! (Ace Goodman)
  • Cyrus Grissom: Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. I have the only gun on board. Welcome to Con Air. (Ace Goodman)
  • Cameron Poe: That gun work?
    Vince Larkin: Yeah.
    Cameron Poe: Then shoot that piece of shit! (Ace Goodman)
  • Vince Larkin: If you can't trust a South American drug lord, who can you trust?
    [silence]
    Vince Larkin: That was a joke.
    Cameron Poe: I'm glad you told me. (Ace Goodman)
  • Johnny 23: Do you know what I am?
    Cameron Poe: Ugly all day? (Ace Goodman)
  • Cameron Poe: Somehow they managed to get every creep and freak in the universe on this one plane. Then managed to let them take it over and stick us right smack in the middle. (Ace Goodman)
  • [after seeing a Corvette being towed in the air by a plane]
    Cameron Poe: On any other day, that might seem strange. (Ace Goodman)
  • Garland Greene: One girl, I drove through three states wearing her head as a hat. (Ace Goodman)
  • Cameron Poe: [referring to his wife] If this goes bad, you tell her I love her. She's my hummingbird. But I can't leave a man behind. You'll do that for me, won't you, Larkin?
    Vince Larkin: Sure. What are you gonna do for me?
    Cameron Poe: What do you think I'm gonna do? I'm gonna save the fuckin' day! (Ace Goodman)
  • ["Sweet Home Alabama" plays in background]
    Garland Greene: Define irony: a bunch of idiots dancing around on a plane to a song made famous by a band that died in a plane crash. (Ace Goodman)
  • Larkin: [Tosses a folder onto a table] Here's the jacket on Cameron Poe. His wife's on the way. A U.S. Army Ranger, highly decorated, did a litte troublemaking when he was a kid, but nothing serious.
    Duncan Malloy: Explain to us what this has to do with anything.
    Larkin: Fact 1, we've got a plane up there filled with killers, rapists, and thieves and then we've got this guy Poe: in on an involuntary manslaughter beef, non-gang affiliated. He's a parolee hitching a ride home.
    Larkin: Fact 2, Poe has a chance to get off the plane, doesn't do it. Why?
    Larkin: Fact 3, our guard Falzon said that a convict named Poe planted Simms' tape recorder on him.
    Larkin: [Brightens] These are interesting facts. You do the math on this... and we've got an ally on that plane. (Ace Goodman)
  • Cameron Poe: Sorry Larkin, but there's only two men I trust. One of them's me. The other's not you. (Ace Goodman)
  • Cameron Poe: Just so's ya know, Marshal Larkin, there's now three people I trust.
    Vince Larkin: Am I one of them? (Ace Goodman)
  • Cyrus Grissom: Oh, nothing makes me sadder than the agent lost his bladder on the aeroplane.
    Garland's Craps Dealer: [last scene of film] New shooter! Does the new shooter feel lucky? Well, does he?
    Garland Greene: [having successfully escaped] Yes... yes he does. (Ace Goodman)
  • Cyrus Grissom: Thank you Poe, you've proven to be a most useful mammal.
    Cameron Poe: Many hands make light work. My father taught me that.
    Cyrus Grissom: Know what my father taught me? Nothing.
    Cameron Poe: Self-educated man. (Ace Goodman)
  • Cyrus Grissom: It's not difficult to surmise Nathan's feelings towards killing these guards; and my own proclivities are well-known and often-lamented facts of penal lore. (Ace Goodman)
  • Pinball: Hey, man. You Swamp Thing?
    Swamp Thing: That's right.
    Pinball: You gonna fly the plane?
    Swamp Thing: That's right.
    Pinball: It's amazing the shit you white trash know.
    Swamp Thing: That's right. (Ace Goodman)
  • Cyrus Grissom: If we let you out, are you gonna play nice, Billy?
    William 'Billy Bedlam' Bedford: Probably not. (Ace Goodman)
  • Guard Falzon: If any of you so much as pass gas in my direction and upset my delicate nasal passages, your testicles will become my private property. (Ace Goodman)
  • Little Girl: Are you sick?
    Garland Greene: Why do you ask?
    Little Girl: You look sick.
    Garland Greene: I am sick.
    Little Girl: Do you take medicine?
    Garland Greene: There is no medicine for what I have. (Ace Goodman)
  • Duncan Malloy: This is a situation that needs to get unfucked, right now! (Ace Goodman)
  • Vince Larkin: Contingency plans for something like this don't exist. The situation has never been contemplated.
    Duncan Malloy: Well, you'd better start contemplating it because this is a situation that needs to get *un-fucked* right now! (Ace Goodman)
  • Vince Larkin: He brought a gun on the plane!
    Duncan Malloy: If I'd known this is the way you guys run things I'd have told him to take a fuckin' UZI on board! (Ace Goodman)
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