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  • Donkey: Then this fool went off and had a party, and they all starting trying to pin a tail on me. Then they all got drunk, and started hitting me with sticks, yelling "Pi¤ata! Pi¤ata!" What the hell is a pi¤ata, anyway? (Ace Goodman)
  • Donkey: I mean, how good looking could this Prince Charming guy be anyway?
    The Ugly Stepsister: Are you kiddin'? He's gorgeous! His face looks like it was carved by angels.
    Puss-in-Boots: Hmmm... he sounds dreamy. (Ace Goodman)
  • Mongo: [drowning] Be good. (Ace Goodman)
  • Shrek: [about the trumpeters and messenger who gave Shrek and Fiona the invitation] How do you explain Sgt. Pompous and the Fancy Pants Club Band? (Ace Goodman)
  • Cedric: Can I help you, your majesty?
    King: Ah, yes, um... Mmm, exquisite. What do you call this dish?
    Cedric: That would be the dog's breakfast, your majesty.
    King: Ah, yes! Very good, uh... Carry on, Cedric. (Ace Goodman)
  • Gingerbread Man: IT'S ALIVE! (Ace Goodman)
  • Shrek: Aww, look at him, in his wee lil' boots! (Ace Goodman)
  • [after discovering Shrek must kiss his true love for his transformation to be permanent]
    Girl #1: I can be your true love!
    Girl #2: I can be your true love!
    Girl #3: I can be true... enough! (Ace Goodman)
  • [Shrek has grabbed Puss-in-boots]
    Donkey: Let's neuter him right now! Give him the Bob Barker treatment! (Ace Goodman)
  • Shrek: Oh, look! A little cat.
    [Puss-in-boots brandishes his sword]
    Donkey: Look out, Shrek, he got a piece! (Ace Goodman)
  • [Shrek is depressed because Fiona's father wants to kill him]
    Donkey: Oh, don't feel bad, Shrek. Almost everybody who meets you wants to kill you. (Ace Goodman)
  • [Shrek steals two noblemen's clothes]
    Shrek: Thank you, gentlemen. Someday I will repay you, unless of course I can't find you, or if I forget. (Ace Goodman)
  • [hanging from Fairy Godmother's feet and looking up]
    Pig: I see London, I see France... (Ace Goodman)
  • Puss-in-Boots: Fear me, if you dare. (Ace Goodman)
  • Donkey: [to Puss] If we ever need an expert on licking ourselves, we'll give you a call. (Ace Goodman)
  • [to handsome Shrek]
    Girl #1: You look tense. Do you need me to rub your shoulders?
    Girl #2: I wanna rub his shoulders!
    Girl #3: Now I don't have anything to rub! (Ace Goodman)
  • Puss-in-Boots: Sorry. I thought that question was directed at me. (Ace Goodman)
  • [after Shrek, Donkey and Puss stumble upon a factory with multi-colored smokestacks]
    Donkey: It's the old Keebler place! (Ace Goodman)
  • Queen: Oh, stop being such a drama king! (Ace Goodman)
  • [upon arriving at Far Far Away]
    Shrek: We are definitly not in the swamp anymore. (Ace Goodman)
  • Shrek: [to Donkey] For five minutes, can you not be yourself? (Ace Goodman)
  • Chef: Bon app‚tit!
    Donkey: Oh, Mexican food! My favorite. (Ace Goodman)
  • Shrek: Do you still know the Muffin Man? (Ace Goodman)
  • [Shrek, Fiona, Fiona's Mum and Dad and Donkey are arguing at the table]
    Queen: Harold!
    Princess Fiona: Shrek!
    Shrek: Fiona...
    King: Fiona!
    Princess Fiona: Mum!
    Queen: Harold!
    Donkey: [happily] Donkey! (Ace Goodman)
  • Puss-in-Boots: [to Shrek] I too was concocting this very same plan, already our minds are becoming one! (Ace Goodman)
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  • Many times I've sat with a camera and another actor and seen all their fears and insecurities and struggles. You want to support them and help them as much as you can. (Christopher Eccleston) [support/help]


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