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Quotes about religion
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Harry Block: So, do they give the Nobel Prize out in yearly payments or is it just one lump sum, like the lottery?
Ira Kane: Let's not get ahead of ourselves.
Harry Block: Oh, I'm not getting ahead of myself. I've very concerned about the potential tax consequences. (Cusack Cyril)
[an alien bug is crawling inside Block's leg]
Dr. Allison Reed: What are you gonna do?
Dr. Paulson: We might have to amputate.
Harry Block: Whoa, Doc! Don't take the leg! Ira, don't let them take my leg.
Ira Kane: Isn't there anything else you can do? He thinks he's an athlete.
Nurse Tate: Doctor, look!
Dr. Paulson: It's headed for his testicles.
Harry Block: Take it! Take it! Take the leg! (Cusack Cyril)
Wayne Grey: [as they arm themselves in the sporting goods store] You ever use one of these things before?
Harry Block: Just 'cause I'm a schoolteacher, that don't make me a pussy.
Ira Kane: Ladies, ladies, there's a terrifying alien bird menacing the mall. Can we focus? (Cusack Cyril)
Ira Kane: [after an alien fly is pulled out of Harry's rectum] You should have seen the size of that thing you had inside you, it was like this!
[measures with his hands]
Ira Kane: You took it like a man. (Cusack Cyril)
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Harry Block: Great googa-mooga! (Cusack Cyril)
Wayne Grey: [trying to get the alien's attention with an open mike] Ka Ka! Tukki Tukki!
Harry Block: Wayne, I think we've established that "Ka Ka" and "Tukki Tukki" don't work.
Wayne Grey: Right. Sorry.
[He starts singing into the mike]
Wayne Grey: You are so beautiful, to me...
Ira Kane: Step back, Harry, I'm gonna shoot him.
Harry Block: Uh-uh, stand down! I'm taking this one out myself.
Wayne Grey: Can't you see...
Harry Block: Wayne, would you please stop, because you are embarrasing me.
[Wayne starts singing louder and directly to Harry] (Cusack Cyril)
Harry Block: Testing, testing, one, two, one-one-one-two... this is D.J. Harry Block here, and I'm an Aquarius...
Ira Kane: Harry, would you stop it? I can hear you.
Harry Block: Don't you snap at me, unless you want an angry solid gold dancer on your hands, Ira. (Cusack Cyril)
Ira Kane: You wouldn't understand.
Dr. Allison Reed: No, how could I? I'm just a humorless ice maiden in desperate need of a good humping.
Ira Kane: Oh... you heard that, huh?
Dr. Allison Reed: Loud and clear. (Cusack Cyril)
[after an alien bug crawls into his body]
Harry Block: For the love of everything good and holy, get this goddamn thing out of me! (Cusack Cyril)
Nadine: I really need these credits to get into nursing school.
Harry Block: Nursing school? Don't you think you'd be happier in a different profession, one where people's lives were NOT dependent on you? (Cusack Cyril)
Dr. Allison Reed: I would've rocked your world.
Ira Kane: You already have. (Cusack Cyril)
[Harry has just had an alien removed rectally]
Dr. Allison Reed: It's over, it's over. You did great! Do you need anything? Can we get you anything?
Harry Block: Ice cream... I'd like an ice cream please.
Dr. Allison Reed: Okay, what flavor?
Harry Block: It doesn't matter. It's for my ass. (Cusack Cyril)
Harry Block: Shouldn't we call the government to help us out on this?
Ira Kane: Absolutely not! I know those people. (Cusack Cyril)
Harry Block: Liar Liar Pants On Fire! (Cusack Cyril)
Nadine: Um, Professor, the little wiggly worm things in there are breaking.
Ira Kane: It's not breaking, it's splitting. It's mitosis. It's how they reproduce.
Harry Block: No sex?
Ira Kane: No time for sex.
Nadine: Bummer. (Cusack Cyril)
Harry Block: I'm no biologist, but how many cells do single-celled organisms have?
Ira Kane: Harry, if we're going to be big important scientists you have to start to act the part. (Cusack Cyril)
Ira Kane: Snag it!
Harry Block: Snag it?
Ira Kane: Yeah. Come on, snag it and put it in the bucket.
Harry Block: I've seen this movie, the black dude dies first. YOU snag it! (Cusack Cyril)
[they see a dying monster coughing something up]
Wayne Grey: Whoa! It's like a big lugie!
[the 'egg' breaks, and another monster comes out]
Harry Block: Mazel tov! It's a boy! (Cusack Cyril)
Ira Kane: You're gonna be all right, buddy! Cut him open, let's get this thing!
Harry Block: CUT ME OPEN! There goes your Christmas gift, Judas! (Cusack Cyril)
Brigadier Gen. Russell Woodman: I didn't know you were coming to see the show.
Governor Lewis: Well, you damn well better make it a good one, Sergeant!
Brigadier Gen. Russell Woodman: That's general!
Governor Lewis: Not if you screw this up. (Cusack Cyril)
Ira Kane: Allow me to share something with the entire class. Last night as I was grading papers, I came across two gems both entitled "Cells are Bad" and both with just one paragraph which I unfortunately committed to memory: "Cells are bad. My uncle lives in a cell. It's ten foot by twelve and he has to read the same boring, old magazine everyday. The end." Although my standards are nowhere near where they used to be I could not bring myself to put As atop those beauties. (Cusack Cyril)
Harry Block: Keep your chin up. You know she wanted to give you some, don't you?
Ira Kane: Were you even in that courtroom?
Harry Block: Getting barbecued like baby back ribs? It's all foreplay, baby.
[they return to their lab, to find the door broken in, and all their work stolen]
Ira Kane: Oh, we've been hit!
Harry Block: Forget the foreplay. We just got screwed! (Cusack Cyril)
Lt. Cryer: All the monitors are down!
Governor Lewis: Well that can't be good! (Cusack Cyril)
Dr. Allison Reed: At this rate, they will take over Glen Canyon in three days. In two weeks, the rest of Arizona. Within three months, the United States will officially belong to them. And we are extinct.
Governor Lewis: Oh, you gotta be shittin' me! (Cusack Cyril)
Governor Lewis: What, the fuzzy no-nosed chimps? (Cusack Cyril)
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religion | [2] | [3] | [4] | [5] | [6] | [7] | [8] | [9] | [10]
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