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Quotes of the Teenage Witch" [1996] Movie: "Sabrina
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Gordy, are you even aware that there's a dance on Friday? Salem: I'll pick you up at 8. What kind of flowers do you like? Valerie: Surprise me! Salem: That means roses. Dogs guard; cats watch... and judge. You're so lucky your parents are strict! My parents are really relaxed, which makes it hard to rebel! So that's your plan? Vesta: Please, I don't plan! I scheme! | |
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Welcome home, sunshine! How was your day? Sabrina: Here's a quick recap: There was boredom followed by dullness with a dash of echh! Finally! I'm free! I have no place to go. It can take years to develop a craft. Look at my aunts Hilda and Zelda. Josh: Which craft were they involved in? Which craft were they involved in? Sabrina: Witchcraft? Who said anything about witchcraft? I just haven't turned myself into wind in years. Salem: Would cabbage help? You are so weird! Salem: [nodding] It helps break up the day. Up 'til now we've known each other only as roomates, but I'm open to other avenues. Roxie King: Take a U-turn. I need you to summarize your being in four words or less. Hot Girl: Not. Interested. In. You. Salem: I'm blonde! My IQ just dropped 20 points! Zelda: [pointing to each of the Spellman women] Blonde, blonde, blonde. [points at Salem] Zelda: Dead. Salem: Well, at least I'm young. No, that's Sabrina. Well, at least I have my own magic. No, wait, that's Sabrina. At least I'm a biped, no, no, wait, THAT'S SABRINA! A cat is doing an imitation of me kissing my niece's vice-principal. So this is my lowest point. He just needs to remember his childhood dreams. You know what? I am going out and get him a copy of 'What color is your parachute' Hilda: Oh what a sweet idea. [Zelda leaves] Hilda: [to Sabrina] It will never work. You'd better use magic. Let's destroy everything that's dear to him. Let's indoctrinate him into the cathedral of agony. Zelda: I'm gonna write him a very stern letter. Salem: You're a regular Mad Max aren't ya? So that was a dead end, but I think if we systematically retrace your steps over the last three months... Hilda: [Interrupting] Sometimes I think you actually work at being annoying. Zelda: No, not really. Salem: Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Why must you keep tormenting me? OK, I'll come over to your house... Sabrina: Ok. NO, PIRATES! Valerie: Pirates? Sabrina: I didn't say pirates... I said By gum! By Gum don't come over here! Ah ha! You were measuring behind my back. You were going to redecorate Sabrina's room without me! Zelda: I didn't think you'd mind. Hilda: Why not? Zelda: Because you're a kind and giving person... And you have no taste. I'm gonna be tossed out into the snow on my nicely rounded buttocks. Having magic and being a witch is great and all, but I can't live without seeing my mother. Okay... do you know where to call in case of an emergency? Salem: THE MONEY STORE? Zelda: Salem! Salem: Yes... I've got your pager number. I think he's too young for me. He's so excited about the turn of the century. Hilda: I know, really. I partied like it was 1699, 1799, 1899 - in 1999, I'm staying home. What's my bra doing on the roof? Salem: Erm, the squirrels needed a nutfeeder... | |
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