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Quotes of Movie: The Long Kiss Goodnight [1996]
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Samantha: What happened?
Mitch: I saved your ass. It was great. (unknown)
Mitch: The last time I got blown, candy bars cost a nickel. (unknown)
[showing his knife to a woman and her kids]
Timothy: You're about to have 2.4 children. (unknown)
Mitch Henessey: [singing] Putting the keys in my left pocket. Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm. Gun in the right-hand side.
Samantha Caine: It makes a bulge, people can see.
Mitch Henessey: Ya want me to stick it in my pants and shoot my damn dick off?
Samantha Caine: Now you're a sharpshooter? (unknown)
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Charlie: ...It ain't over. You're going to die screaming... and I'm going to watch. Am I telling the truth? (unknown)
Caitlin Caine: Mommy, am I gonna die?
Charlie: Oh, no, baby, no. You're not going to die. They are. Cover your ears. Hey, should we get a dog? (unknown)
Mitch: So, you cold?
Charlie: Yeah. Freezing.
Mitch: Turn on the heat. It doesn't work, but it makes a very annoying noise - distracts from the cold. (unknown)
Charlie: I'm leaving the country, Mitch. I need a fake passport and I need money, lots of it.
Mitch: Well why didn't you say so? Hold on a minute while I pull that outta my ass. (unknown)
Charlie: I let you touch me, cowboy. I think I need a bath. (unknown)
Charlie: You couldn't hit a lake if you were standing on the bottom. (unknown)
Charlie: Life is pain. Get used to it. (unknown)
Hal: I don't smoke, I don't drink and I don't swear. Oh shit, I DO smoke and drink! (unknown)
Mitch Henessey: What I'm saying is, back when we first met, you were all like "Oh phooey, I burned the darn muffins." Now, you go into a bar, ten minutes later, sailors come runnin' out. What up with that? (unknown)
Charlie: They're gonna blow my head off, you know. This is the last time I'll ever be pretty. (unknown)
Mitch Henessey: I never did one thing right in my life, you know that? Not one. That takes skill. (unknown)
Alley Agent: Good evening, pretty lady. How 'bout some company?
Charlie: No thanks. I'm saving myself 'til I get raped. (unknown)
Samantha Caine: What, are you a Mormon?
Mitch Henessey: Yes, I'm a Mormon. That's why I just smoked a pack of Newport and drank three vodka tonics. (unknown)
Nathan: Alice, please. Your dog, Alice. It and my appetite are mutually exclusive.
Alice: Well, what's wrong with the dog?
Nathan: Simple. He's been licking his asshole for the last three straight hours. I submit to you that there is nothing there worth more than an hour's attention. I should think that whatever he is attempting to dislodge is either gone for good, or there to stay. Wouldn't you agree? (unknown)
Charlie: Were you always this stupid, or did you take lessons?
Mitch Henessey: I took lessons. (unknown)
Charlie: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Mitch Henessey: I hope not, 'cause I'm thinking how much my balls hurt. (unknown)
Charlie: Oh honey, only four inches?
Timothy: You'll feel me. (unknown)
Mitch Henessey: ...everyone knows, when you make an assumption, you make an ass out of "u" and "umption". (unknown)
Mitch Henessey: We jumped out of a building.
Nathan: Yes, it was very exciting. Tomorrow we go to the zoo. (unknown)
Mitch Henessey: I'm always frank and earnest with women. Uh, in New York I'm Frank, and Chicago I'm Ernest. (unknown)
Samantha: Easy, sport. I got myself outta Beirut once, I think I can get outta New Jersey.
Mitch: Yeah? Well, don't be so sure. Others have tried and failed. The entire population, in fact. (unknown)
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Movie: The Long Kiss Goodnight [1996]
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