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Quotes of Movie: Last Boy Scout [1991]
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Milo: You think you are so fucking cool, don't you? You think you are so fucking cool. But just once, I would like to hear you scream in pain...
Joe Hallenbeck: Play some rap music. (unknown)
Joe Hallenbeck: Where are you goin'?
Jimmy Dix: To the bathroom, okay. You wanna come? The doc said I shouldn't lift anything heavy.
Joe Hallenbeck: No, I'll pass. (unknown)
Jimmy Dix: She gets evidence to use against 'em, right?
Joe Hallenbeck: That's right.
Jimmy Dix: So now we have the evidence.
Joe Hallenbeck: What we got, Junior, is Marcone and Baynard by the nuts and that is why I love America. (unknown)
Scrabble Man: Drop the gun, Hallenbeck.
[takes Joe's gun and tosses it]
Scrabble Man: Bit late for a stroll, don't you think?
Joe Hallenbeck: Yeah, you girls oughta be gettin' home.
Jimmy Dix: Yeah, streetlights are on.
Jake: Shut up fuckface.
Joe Hallenbeck: I'm fuckface, he's asshole.
[Jimmy smiles sarcastically, in agreement]
Scrabble Man: Jake?
[Jake punches Joe in the face]
Scrabble Man: Advise Rodney Dangerfield here of the situation. Perhaps we can dispense with the fun and games now, yes?
Joe Hallenbeck: You want the envelope, right?
Scrabble Man: The envelope, very smart. See Jake, here is a man who knows when a situation is untenable.
Joe Hallenbeck: Good word.
Scrabble Man: You like that word? And you do have that envelope, don't you?
Joe Hallenbeck: Better give up, Jimmy. We're dealin' with a couple of geniuses here.
[Jake punches Joe in the face]
Jimmy Dix: Hey man, just leave him the fuck alone.
[Jake kicks Jimmy in the groin]
Scrabble Man: Leave him alone? Yeah, sure Jimmy. Whatever you say. Jake here takes his job with a certain exuberance.
Jimmy Dix: Shit, we're being beat up by the inventor of scrabble.
Scrabble Man: He's in a good mood, Jake. Kick 'em again.
Joe Hallenbeck: All right. You want the envelope the hooker had, right?
Jimmy Dix: She wasn't a hooker, Joe.
Joe Hallenbeck: Shut the fuck up. (unknown)
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Joe Hallenbeck: Hey flash, rescue attempt?
Jimmy Dix: Blow me.
Milo: You must be James.
Jimmy Dix: [sarcastically] James?
Joe Hallenbeck: He does that with everybody. He calls me Joseph.
Milo: I trust you're alone.
Jimmy Dix: No, I got the fuckin' Vienna Boys Choir with me. What, is everybody stupid around here?
[thug slams his head into car bonnet]
Joe Hallenbeck: Just you, kid. (unknown)
Jimmy Dix: What, you don't believe in love?
Joe Hallenbeck: Yeah, I believe in love; I also believe in cancer.
Jimmy Dix: What, they're both diseases?
Joe Hallenbeck: Yeah, something like that. (unknown)
Joe Hallenbeck: [Joe doesn't like the music being played at the strip club where Cory works] This the only kind of music they play in this joint?
Cory: Mm-hm.
Joe Hallenbeck: I hate this funk shit. I'll have to charge you extra.
Cory: What did you expect?
Joe Hallenbeck: The Four Freshmen. Pat Boone.
Cory: What are you, my father?
Joe Hallenbeck: Yeah, I'm your father. Go put some clothes on.
Cory: You're hilarious.
[Gets up to leave]
Cory: Go stick your head in that speaker. You'll be screaming, "Play that funky music, white boy!"
Joe Hallenbeck: The screaming part, I believe. (unknown)
Joe Hallenbeck: Hey, you got a car here? Hey! You got a car?
Pool Owner: Yeah.
Joe Hallenbeck: Give me the keys.
Pool Owner: No way.
Joe Hallenbeck: [Holds his gun to Darian's head] Give me the keys or I shoot the kid. (unknown)
Jimmy Dix: [Jimmy has just survived being thrown off an overpass and is now trying to calm startled motorists] It's okay. It's okay, folks. It's okay. It's okay. Thank you. Thank you. Danger is my middle name. Don't try this at home, folks. I'm a trained professional. There's me, and there's Super Dave.
[Passes out] (unknown)
Joe Hallenbeck: [Joe is convinced Sarah is hiding anther man in their bedroom closet] That door stays shut. What I'm going to do is count to three. Then I'm going to put a bullet in that door.
Sarah Hallenbeck: Jesus.
Joe Hallenbeck: You can stop me any time by telling the truth.
[Cocks gun]
Joe Hallenbeck: One...
Sarah Hallenbeck: Call your shrink, Joe! Call him and tell him that you're fucking losing it!
Joe Hallenbeck: The truth is a beautiful thing. (unknown)
Mike Mathews: [Mike is trying to offer Joe a case] So listen, I'm booked. You got plans?
Joe Hallenbeck: I'm thinking about somking some cigarettes.
Mike Mathews: Could you postpone?
Joe Hallenbeck: These are pretty good cigarettes. (unknown)
Jimmy Dix: If you go any faster we're gonna travel back through time. (unknown)
Joe Hallenbeck: The sky is blue, water is wet, women have secrets. Who gives a fuck? (unknown)
Jimmy Dix: Hey, man. You ever play ball? You've got a good build.
Joe Hallenbeck: What are you, a fag?
Jimmy Dix: No, I'm just trying to break the ice.
Joe Hallenbeck: I like ice. Leave it the fuck alone.
Jimmy Dix: Oh, you're a lot of fun to be with. (unknown)
[On pulling up to Joe Hallenbeck's home]
Jimmy Dix: Wow, an actual house. I was expecting a cave with like skulls and shit. (unknown)
[Joe gets to his office, after waking up next to a dead squirrel a bunch of kids threw in his car]
Mike Matthews: What'd you do last night?
Joe Hallenbeck: I think I fucked a squirrel to death, and don't remember. (unknown)
Milo: Hey, motherfucker.
Joe Hallenbeck: Hey, Milo. Where ya callin' from, the bottom of the pool? (unknown)
Jimmy Dix: It's called a vocabulary. You got one of those?
Joe Hallenbeck: Sorry, my subscription to JUGGS magazine ran out. (unknown)
Jimmy Dix: Come one, Cory, let's go.
Cory: Wait, I gotta wait for Hallenbeck.
Jimmy Dix: Are you in some kind of trouble?
Cory: It's nothing serious, let's just wait for Hallenbeck.
Jimmy Dix: Is there some guy bothering you?
Cory: Seriously, let's just wait for Hallenbeck.
Jimmy Dix: Hallenbeck's a bum. What's he gonna do, light a match and breathe on the guy? (unknown)
Jimmy Dix: Do you want to get kicked off the planet? (unknown)
[to Milo]
Joe Hallenbeck: I told you, if you ever touch me again, I'll kill you. (unknown)
Joe Hallenbeck: Can I have a cigarette?
Chet: A cigarette? Yeah sure.
[gives him one]
Joe Hallenbeck: Got a light?
Chet: Yeah, got a light.
[pretends to give him a light and punches him instead]
Chet: Hey baby I thought you were tough. See Pablo, he's no sweat!
Joe Hallenbeck: I seem to have dropped my cigarette. May I have another?
Chet: [hesitates] Sure, sure thing buddy.
[gives him another cigarette]
Joe Hallenbeck: I'm gonna need a light. You touch me again, I'll kill ya. (unknown)
[last lines]
Joe Hallenbeck: Be prepared, son. That's my motto. Be prepared. (unknown)
Jimmy Dix: I'm saying again for the cheap seats, Lieutenant. I DON'T KNOW WHERE JOE HALLENBECK IS! That's my fucking statement! Write it down and shove it up your ass.
Lieutenant Benjamin Bessalo: I could nail you for obstruction.
Jimmy Dix: You couldn't nail a two dollar whore. (unknown)
Jimmy Dix: Hey, ugly! Looks like our evidence got blown up. I think we might have to get some more.
Joe Hallenbeck: Just won't let go, huh? You're like a dog with a frisbee. (unknown)
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Movie: Last Boy Scout [1991] | [2]
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