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Quotes of Movie: Lake Placid [1999]
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Mrs. Bickerman: I'm rooting for the crocodile. I hope he swallows your friends whole. (unknown)
[Upon finding a decaying toe]
Hector: Is this the man that was killed?
Sheriff Hank Keough: He seemed... taller. (unknown)
Sheriff Hank Keough: Ma'am, your husband Bernie, you didn't by any chance lead him to the lake blindfolded?
Mrs. Bickerman: If I had a dick, this is where I'd tell you to suck it! (unknown)
[to a game warden]
Hector Cyr: I'm a civilian, not a trout - you have no authority over me whatsoever. (unknown)
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Kelly Scott: The lake is so black and still.
Sheriff Hank Keough: Yeah, we wanted to call it Lake Placid, but we heard that name was already taken. (unknown)
Jack Wells: It's not a science trip.
Kelly Scott: Could you be a little more condescending? 'Cause I'm not real great with subtlety.
Jack Wells: Something in that lake killed somebody, all right? I appreciate your trying to help. I'm really glad that you... brought the RAID.
Kelly Scott: There, that's better.
Jack Wells: Ma'am...
Kelly Scott: Look, if you call me "ma'am" one more time I'll sue you for sexual harrassment, and with today's laws, it's possible.
Sheriff Hank Keough: She's good. (unknown)
Hector: You got to fire your big gun. Did it meet your expectations?
Sheriff Hank Keough: Overrated. (unknown)
Kelly Scott: I don't do field and even if I did... Maine? I'm allergic to timber! (unknown)
Sheriff Hank Keough: I... I... I never heard of a crocodile crossing an ocean.
Hector Cyr: Well, they conceal information like that in books. (unknown)
Sheriff Hank Keough: Tents were sent ahead. Should already be set up by the time we get there.
Kelly Scott: Tents? We're staying in TENTS?
Sheriff Hank Keough: I told you, two days we'd have to camp.
Kelly Scott: Yes! Camp! But I thought that meant Ramada Inn. I never heard tents! Will there be toilets?
Jack Wells: Maybe we should just take you back.
Kelly Scott: Why? Because I prefer toilets?
Kelly Scott: Maybe I should just wipe myself with some leafy little piece of poison oak. And then I can spend the whole day scratchin' my ass, blendin' in with the natives. (unknown)
Kelly Scott: Uh, there's something I wanted to ask you. What's it like to be a woman in the woods of Maine? I mean, the guys don't turn all horny or anything like they did in Deliverance, right?
[She sees Jack Wells is listening]
Kelly Scott: Ahh... I knew you were there.
Jack Wells: Hmm. Never been to Maine before, huh?
Kelly Scott: Oh, I have good hygiene, I'm not welcome. (unknown)
Sheriff Hank Keough: Who are you?
Hector Cyr: Hector Cyr, I said it once, lemme know when it sinks in, OK? (unknown)
Sheriff Hank Keough: Crocodiles can't swim in salt water.
Hector Cyr: Yeah, well, that'll be your little secret. (unknown)
[Sheriff Keough finds two of his deputies digging a deep hole and gives them an icy stare]
1st Deputy: He paid us. Five hundred.
2nd Deputy: It's a trap.
Sheriff Hank Keough: You accepted money from him?
1st Deputy: We took a check. (unknown)
[Hector Cyr is dancing with a female Deputy Sheriff]
Hector Cyr: Law enforcement is very dangerous work isn't it?
[She nods]
Hector Cyr: And you have such big, wonderful boobs.
Deputy Sharon Gare: Ha! Thank you! (unknown)
[Hector Cyr is preparing to SCUBA dive to look for the crocodile]
Sheriff Hank Keough: I brought a pork chop for luck. Maybe you could hang it around your neck.
Hector Cyr: That's sweet. Maybe later you can chew the bark off my big fat log. (unknown)
Mrs. Bickerman: Oh, my husband passed away. It's been almost two years now.
Sheriff Hank Keough: My department doesn't have any record of that, Mrs. Bickerman.
Mrs. Bickerman: Well, I'm sorry. Incomplete records haunt me so.
Jack Wells: What was the cause of your husband's death, ma'am? Do you know?
Kelly Scott: We don't mean to invade your privacy, but was he ill, was he sick?
Sheriff Hank Keough: Was he swallowed? (unknown)
Sheriff Hank Keough: The tooth is in here.
Kelly Scott: Well that's... that's the morgue.
Sheriff Hank Keough: Yes.
Kelly Scott: Well, uh... is the dead guy in there?
Sheriff Hank Keough: That's where they keep 'em. Look, you want me to bring the tooth out here?
Kelly Scott: No. No, let's... after you. (unknown)
Hector Cyr: Sheriff, think about being rich. My parents had the added luxury of ditching me off at karate school on a regular basis. I *am* a brown belt, go ahead, take your best shot, take your best ...
[Hank punches him in the nose, knocks him down]
Sheriff Hank Keough: [to Jack] He said he knew karate.
Jack Wells: You hit him.
Sheriff Hank Keough: I did, yeah.
Hector Cyr: Did he say "go"? Aren't you supposed to say "go" in karate? You're supposed to say "go"! (unknown)
Sheriff Hank Keough: Look. He's suffering. I get to be humane.
[Aims grenade launcher]
Hector Cyr: No! No. No, no, no look, he's trapped. We've done it. So what it's not a net but, but, but he's trapped. Mission accomplished.
Jack Wells: Shoot him!
Hector Cyr: I've got more drugs. He's half dead.
Jack Wells: He's half alive! Shoot him! (unknown)
Mrs. Bickerman: Murders and rapes in the city, people bomb planes, can the police stop 'em? No! But feed one little cow to a crocodile...
Sheriff Hank Keough: You're gonna stay right here until the police show. You're under full house arrest.
Mrs. Bickerman: Thank you, officer fuck-meat! (unknown)
[the U.S. and Florida game officials finally show up]
Sheriff Hank Keough: We, uh, trapped him with our chopper. (unknown)
Hector Cyr: He bit me! He bit me! There's two! There's two!
Sheriff Hank Keough: I can count.
[the second crocs rears up out of the water and the sheriff blows his head off with the grenade launcher]
Sheriff Hank Keough: Back to one. (unknown)
Hector Cyr: What'd Bickerman say?
Jack Wells: Well, she didn't want to tell us about the second croc 'cause she was afraid we'd blow its head off.
Sheriff Hank Keough: Women's intuition. (unknown)
[to the sheriff]
Hector: You know, sheriff, when friends or family say certain things, they tend not to register. So it helps to hear it from a complete stranger... you're fat. (unknown)
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Movie: Lake Placid [1999]
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