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Quotes of Movie: Keeping the Faith [2000]

  • Confessional Woman #1: Is it me or is confession getting a little touchy-feely these days? (unknown)
  • Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: If I was to tell you that I loved you and I'd give it all away just to be with you, what would you say?
    Woman in Bar: Good night, Paulie.
    Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: Yep. That's about par for the evening. (unknown)
  • Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: [to Anna] Excuse me if I say that I don't think I'm the best person to offer objective advice on this particular confession. (unknown)
  • Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: How upset are they?
    Rabbi Lewis: Let's just say they're less than thrilled.
    Larry Friedman: To be honest, we're less than thrilled.
    Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: Ok, with what specifically?
    Larry Friedman: With what specifically. Well, with guided meditation specifically, with stand up comedy sermons specifically, with your loose improvisational style specifically.
    Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: Ok, with people actually enjoying services? People showing up at all?
    Larry Friedman: To be serenaded by the Harlem freaking gospel choir?
    Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: At least they were praying.
    Rabbi Lewis: It was a hell of an Ein Keloheinu, Lar.
    Larry Friedman: It's not kosher, Rabbi Lewis.
    Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: Larry, what does that mean?
    Larry Friedman: You have to ask me what kosher means? Study your gemara. (unknown)
  • Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: What do you want me to do? Flagellate myself? Jews don't do that, we plant trees. (unknown)
  • Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: Feel the prana! (unknown)
  • Rachel Rose: Well, looks like I'm going to Baghdad. (unknown)
  • Anna Riley: We have a chemistry together, I can't explain it.
    Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: Well, chemistry's a funny thing.
    Anna Riley: Yes, it is. Are you speaking abstractly or specifically?
    Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: Abstractly. (unknown)
  • Anna Riley: Jake Schram.
    Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: Yes.
    Anna Riley: How are you? Who are you? Tell me everything, give me the 4-1-1, I wanna know. Girls, job, news. (unknown)
  • Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: Holy majoly! (unknown)
  • Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: He's, like, porn slapping her! (unknown)
  • Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: You're gonna benefit from this! (unknown)
  • Rachel Rose: [to Brian and Anna] So how long have you two been together?
    Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: Oh, right!
    Anna Riley: Oh, we go way back.
    Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: Yeah, we've known each other since we were kids 'cause we grew up together and we connected again a couple months back this was and we just clicked, really unexpectedly. (unknown)
  • Father Havel: I remember I fell in love with this girl in Prague. She was beautiful. She looked like Carol Lombard. She grabbed me in the alley behind my church, she pressed me up against the wall, she kissed me. I was so happy I thought I would die, I felt like Richard Chamberlain in "The Thorn Birds", you know with Maggie in the attic.
    Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: You never told me this. Did anything happen between you?
    Father Havel: Not really. Flirtations, little moments, but soon after the Russians invaded Czechoslovakia and I moved to the United States. (unknown)
  • Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: He has a healthy self-confidence, I can tell from his posturing. (unknown)
  • Anna Riley: I've seen the way women look at you, even though they know you're a priest - especially when they know actually. (unknown)
  • Ruth Schram: Now you. Anyone new in your life I should know about?
    Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: Wow, 20 minutes! I can't believe we made it this far.
    Ruth Schram: It's my God-given right to check. What about the Shapiro girl.
    Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: Oh, no, not the Shapiro girl.
    Ruth Schram: Why not, she was a looker.
    Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: It's not that, the problem was here.
    Ruth Schram: What? Bad skin?
    Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: No, not bad skin.
    Ruth Schram: What then?
    Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: Ok, you want an example? I take her out to dinner, I order dessert, she says she doesn't want any, I get pecan pie. She asks me for a bite, I give her a bite, her face swells up like a chipmunk, she looks at me and says, "Oh, my God, are there nuts in this?"
    Ruth Schram: So what?
    Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: Mom! It was pecan pie. (unknown)
  • Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: You wanna bring a priest to your first good date in two years? What kind of strategy is that? (unknown)
  • Anna Riley: You look so hot in your suit, can I just tell you.
    Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: Thank you. You look beautiful.
    Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: Yeah, you really do.
    Anna Riley: Thanks, men!
    Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: I don't know what it is.
    Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: An absence of something.
    Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: Yeah, the cell phone.
    Anna Riley: Uh, uh, uh. It's set to vibrate.
    Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: Wow, that's... sexy. (unknown)
  • Father Havel: Who is calling at this hour? It's barbaric. I was dreaming about my mother's sausages. (unknown)
  • Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: You must think I'm such an idiot!
    Anna Riley: No, Brian!
    Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: No, no no, I think I'm an idiot! (unknown)
  • Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: I'm Irish! This is milk to me baby! Milk! (unknown)
  • Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: I'm Irish! This is milk to me baby! Milk! (unknown)
  • Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: I don't doubt myself because of you. I feel like the best version of myself when I'm with you, and that makes me doubt everything else. (unknown)
  • Anna Riley: [Brian dials Anna's phone number and hears her voice on the answering machine] Hi, this is Anna. Only three people have this number. If you're not one of them, leave me alone. (unknown)
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  • “I should start off by saying that I have a very deep affection for American Idol . It's a brilliant show, an absolute phenomenon in the history of television, and I'm not just saying that because they had me on as a guest judge and performer last year -- I truly enjoy the show and would watch it even if the contestants didn't sing my songs as part of the competition and keep my music in the minds of the record-buying public. Now, William Hung ... well, he's certainly no Clay Aiken, my all-time favorite American Idol participant for obvious reasons. But I have a special fondness for William, too -- after all, when I was starting out, people said I was funny-looking and couldn't sing. And even when I became a gigantic pop star in the '70s, I had nearly as many people who hated me as adored me, and let me tell you, a lot of people adored me! Now, could William have done a better job singing my song 'It's a Miracle,' which you can find on several of my Greatest Hits albums? Probably. But if he keeps at it despite what the millions of people who despise him think, then perhaps one day he, too, will sign an eight-year deal to entertain at the Las Vegas Hilton on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday nights, two shows on Saturday, senior citizen and group discounts available.” (Barry Manilow) [start/absolute/phenomenon/television]