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Quotes of Movie: Just Married [2003]

  • Sarah: Tom, Tom, calm down your acting crazy.
    Tom: O.K, sorry, maybe it's just the fact I just got hit in the head with a ten pound ashtray. (unknown)
  • Tom: [weilding a fire poker] Hello Peter! So happy you could join us!
    Sarah: Tom what are you doing?
    Tom: I was thinking, that it's time for Peter and I to TANGO!
    [smashes vase with poker]
    Peter: He's crazy! See you have no furture with this guy.
    Sarah: Peter, shut up. Tom you're acting like a crazy person.
    Tom: Oh yeah? Well, maybe that's cause I just got hit in the head with a ten-pound ashtray !
    [shrugs shoulders]
    Peter: I'm warning you Leizak
    [strikes a kung fu stance]
    Peter: I studied karate with a Grand Master.
    Tom: Yeah? Well I sure hope he showed ya how to pull a fire poker outta your ass! (unknown)
  • Tom: Son of a beotch! My skull is on firee! (unknown)
  • Tom: I need to know everything... where, when, how small his weiner is. (unknown)
  • Tom: Did you use protection?
    Sarah: I'm sorry, they don't make condoms that big. (unknown)
  • Peter: I'm not afraid of you. I studied martial arts with some of the best Chinese masters.
    Tom: Well, I sure hope they taught you how to pull a fire poker out of your ass. (unknown)
  • Tom: The first sex I had on my honeymoon, was with a man named Santino. (unknown)
  • Sarah: Cheese and rice. (unknown)
  • Sarah: [to customs agent] No, but my husband does have two pounds of hash in his rectum. (unknown)
  • [Outside bathroom]
    Stewardess: Please, the seats lights are on. Please return to your seats.
    [Inside bathroom]
    Sarah: BEAT IT STEW. (unknown)
  • Tom: Look, Yuan, Willie, whoever else is listening. You don't want me to be with Sarah and I can't change that. I don't know where we're gonna be in 10, 20, 40 years. I don't know who we're gonna be. I don't know if I'm ever gonna be able to give her all of this. There are a million things that I don't know. But there's one thing that I do. And that's that I love Sarah. And I am going to love her day in and day out for the rest of my life. Now, will you please... please... open the gate so I can tell that to my wife. (unknown)
  • Kyle: That is one strong gate. (unknown)
  • Tom: I just hope that... I can be... all that I can... be... in this... family... (unknown)
  • Mr. Leezak: Gonna tell me what your chewin' on?
    Tom: I just don't know if love is enough anymore.
    Mr. Leezak: What do you mean, "enough"?
    Tom: I mean... Even if Sarah and I do love each other... maybe we did need more time to get to know each other.
    Mr. Leezak: So...
    [clears throat]
    Mr. Leezak: what your saying here is... you had a couple of bad days in Europe and... it's over. Time to grow up, Tommy.
    Tom: Hmm?
    Mr. Leezak: Some days your mother and me loved each other. Other days we had to work at it. You never see the hard days in a photo album... but those are the ones that get you from one happy snapshot to the next. I'm sorry your honeymoon stunk but that's what you got dealt. Now you gotta work through it. Sarah doesn't need a guy with a fat wallet to make her happy. I saw how you love this girl. How you two lit each other up. She doesn't need anymore security than that.
    Tom: Thanks, dad. (unknown)
  • Mr. Leezak: You never see the hard days in a photo album, but those are the ones that get you from one happy snap shot to the next. (unknown)
  • Tom: Girl, we are never gonna forget this honeymoon. (unknown)
  • Sarah: Is that a Thunderstick A-200o
    Tom: When did you become an expert?
    Sarah: I told you about that night in college.
    Tom: But you never told me about the hardware.
    Sarah: Getting a visual
    Tom: We gotta charge this thing
    Sarah: That plug won't fit in European outlet.
    Tom: I'll make it fit.
    Sarah: Don't force it. (unknown)
  • [after being shocked while trying to charge the battery in an adult toy]
    Tom: Good thing that didn't happen while we were using it. (unknown)
  • Tom: Okay, whatever. Listen, you get guests here from all over the world, it's up to you to have some American on your signs.
    Sarah: He means English. (unknown)
  • Tom: Hey, we're in this together.
    Sarah: Do you have four guys staring at your boobies right now? No. (unknown)
  • Sarah: Tom, have you ever not told me something cause you were afraid of how I would react? Like have you ever not told me the truth about anything?
    Tom: Like when I told you I liked your brother?
    Sarah: This is serious Tom.
    Tom: I am serious, I really don't like him. (unknown)
  • Mr. McNerney: Listen, Leezak. I don't expect a "cracker" like you to be considerably a good match for my daughter, but I'll tell you what I do expect: I expect you pay me back in full as soon as that silly-ass radio show yields any kind of personal income. Goodbye, cracker!
    [hangs up the phone]
    Tom: Assbag! (unknown)
  • Tom: Wow, Pussy's never insulted me. Now I feel loved! (unknown)
  • Tom: Maybe we should just have sex.
    Sarah: Call me crazy, but I'm not in the mood to make love to you. (unknown)
  • Tom: Those birds are psychotic. (unknown)
  • Movie: Just Married [2003]

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