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Quotes of Movie: Just Friends [2005]
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[in a crowded bar, Chris is talking with Jamie, while Samantha is waiting for him at the door]
Samantha James: Chris! Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris...
Chris: I'm busy!
Samantha James: I'm busy too, stupid dick! (unknown)
Mike: [Speaking to Chris about Samantha] It's OK. She's got her toothpaste.
Samantha James: [eating the toothpaste] Blueberry. (unknown)
Samantha James: It's all right, I like other girls. Darla! (unknown)
Samantha James: I'm sorry I'm not poor! I'm sorry I don't have a fat ass. (unknown)
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Chris: Hi.
[Jamie slams the door in his face]
Chris: Jamie, look, Jamie! I said a lot of really crappy things the other night and I'm sorry about that. I haven't been a very good friend to you and I'm sorry, ok. The truth is that I'm afraid to be your friend because I'm always gonna want more. But then I got to thinking that I'd rather have you in my life as a friend than not at all.
[She opens the door and looks at him]
Chris: You know, that's a lie too.
[She comes outside and closes the door behind her]
Chris: I want to take you out on a date. And I don't care if it's in the day or at night or whenever as long as it's a real date. And I want to tell you how beautiful I think you are, inside and out. And I want to have babies with you, and I want to marry you and I love you, Jamie, I always have.
[She smiles and they kiss]
Chris: Sorry, that's like 20 years all at once.
[He kisses her again] (unknown)
Mike: [Samantha has found out that Chris is seeing someone else] The jig is up! Run!
Samantha James: You son of a bitch!
Chris: Samantha! You're here! Shit!
Samantha James: There she is. There's the little slut you've been banging behind my back!
Old Woman: Me?
Samantha James: Not you, wrinkles.
[Points at Jamie]
Samantha James: Her!
Jamie Palamino: Who are you?
Samantha James: I'm Samantha James, bitch!
[Shoves Jamie]
Jamie Palamino: Don't shove me!
[Shoves Samantha back]
Samantha James: You're a whore! Santa's little whore! Santa's little whore!
Jamie Palamino: Get off!
Mike: [In an excited, high pitched voice] Cat fight! (unknown)
Chris' Mom: Dusty, what kind of car is this?
Dusty: Carol, this little Japanese princess here is called the Prius.
Chris' Mom: I think it's so neat that you kids care about the environment.
Chris: I love the environment.
Chris' Mom: But honey, don't you drive a Range Rover? Aren't those bad?
Chris: [pause] Well, I had a really nice time tonight, and I hope we can do it again soon. Hey, Dusty, thanks for comin'.
Dusty: Oh, listen, man, it was my pleasure, really. Thank you all for having me. It was so nice.
[Chris takes out his retainer]
Dusty: And hey, before I forget, make sure to that you rinse that thing at least twice a day, okay? Your mouth is a disgusting open cesspool with germs and bacteria. Now put that back! (unknown)
Samantha James: [Chris is wrestling Samantha to make her stop using her taser gun on him] Oooohhh yes! Go-Time!
Chris: Hey! Hey! It's not Go-Time! This isn't how it works Samantha! You can't force or... or torture someone into liking you!
Samantha James: [Rolls her eyes] Oooh, the big speech!
Chris: No! You just have to put yourself out there and hope that they like you back! This isn't a game! This is my LIFE!
Samantha James: Oh yeah! This is MY life! Okay? I'm sorry I'm not the most boring person ever! Okay? I'm sorry I'm not poor! I'm sorry I...
[Chris starts walking out]
Samantha James: ... I'm sorry I don't have a fat ass! I'm sorry I'm not... Hey! Where you going? (unknown)
Chris: I can't hear you Samantha... I can't hear you - OH! Lightbulb! (unknown)
Samantha James: I'm sorry I'm not the most boring person ever!... I'm sorry I'm not poor!... I'm sorry I don't have a fat ass! (unknown)
Mike: Raise your hand if your brother's a homo! (unknown)
Jamie Palamino: Mistletoe! (unknown)
Samantha James: Whoopsie! I'm naked. (unknown)
Mike: You'll always be fat to me! (unknown)
Samantha James: I'm Samantha James, bitch! (unknown)
Jamie Palamino: Will you try it on for me? Please? I think it will fit...
Chris: [putting on Jamie's gift] ... It's a little snug.
Jamie Palamino: Aww. "Shakes come and go but friends are furrr-ever." That's adorable! Let's go show my mom. (unknown)
Jamie Palamino: I think I just peed a little! (unknown)
Chris: When I'm with you it feels like we are in our own little Chris and Jamie world. (unknown)
Mike: You are so hot.
Samantha James: I know! (unknown)
Chris: Look, I know you hate me, but I need to speak with Jamie... Where is she?
Mr. Palamino: She's gone off with Mr. Lee.
Clark: The drycleaner?
Mr. Palamino: No, Dusty, you jackass! (unknown)
Jamie Palamino: Is this all because I didn't screw you in high school? Get over yourself.
Chris: After being the biggest tease for so long. Trust me, I am so over myself. (unknown)
Chris' Mom: [Starts dialing while Chris is on the phone] Joyce?... Joyce?
Chris: No, Mom, I'm on the phone.
Chris' Mom: What are you doing at Joyce's house?
Chris: Mom, I'm in the Living Room, ten feet away from you...
Chris' Mom: Well, while I have you on the phone dear... what would you like for dinner? (unknown)
Clark: He's Jersey, he skis in his jeans! (unknown)
Clark: Are you kidding? You're Chris Brander. You're Hollywood; you date models. He's Jersey; he skis in his jeans. It's Dinkleman... it's Dusty Dinkleman.
Chris: Dinkleman.
Clark: Dinkleman.
Chris: Dinkleman.
Clark: Dinkleman's going down!
Chris: Dinkleman is going way down! (unknown)
Samantha James: But I'm not ready for a gig.
Chris: Of course you are.
Samantha James: No... no. No! This is a bad idea Chris!
Chris: God I am so stupid!
Samantha James: No you aren't baby.
Chris: Here I am trying to make you into an artist when you're just a pop bubblegum sensation. But that's okay. Paris, here we come.
Samantha James: But I am an artist... I am an artist... Hey! I am an artist!
Chris: Good. You ready to do this?
Samantha James: I was born ready bitch. (unknown)
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Movie: Just Friends [2005] | [2]
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