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Quotes of Movie: Johnny Dangerously [1984]

  • Roman Moroni: I would like to direct this to the distinguished members of the panel: You lousy cork-soakers. You have violated my farging rights. Dis somanumbatching country was founded so that the liberties of common patriotic citizens like me could not be taken away by a bunch of fargin iceholes... like yourselves. (unknown)
  • Johnny Dangerously: You got those. I like those on a woman. (unknown)
  • Danny Vermin: You shouldn't grab me, Johnny. My mother grabbed me once... ONCE! (unknown)
  • Roman Moroni: Why you miserable cork-soaker! (unknown)
  • Danny Vermin: Dames are put on this earth to weaken us, drain our energy, laugh at us when they see us naked. (unknown)
  • Danny Vermin: I got something to stop him.
    Dutch: They made it for him special. It's an eighty-eight Magnum.
    Danny Vermin: It shoots through schools. (unknown)
  • Ma Kelly: The Lower East Side. This really sucks. (unknown)
  • Ma Kelly: Bless the saints, it's an ashtray! I've been thinking of taking up smoking. This clinches it! (unknown)
  • Ma Kelly: I know what you can't say. You wanna get laid. You wanna hump your brains out. Vavoom, vavoom, vavoom! (unknown)
  • Lil: And shelf paper! Oh, Johnny, I *love* shelf paper! (unknown)
  • Ma Kelly: You've gotten to be like a daughter to me and I wanna share somethin' with ya.
    Lil: Awww, what's that Mom Kelley?
    Ma Kelly: I go both ways.
    Lil: Oh. (unknown)
  • Danny Vermin: I AM handicapped: I'm psychotic. (unknown)
  • Johnny Dangerously: Hey Pope, why don't you go build yourself a new gym at the Vatican. (unknown)
  • Ma Kelly: I love em', but one day I'm gonna knock em' on his ass. (unknown)
  • Roman Moroni: This is fargin war! (unknown)
  • Johnny Dangerously: The years hadn't softened Moronie. He continued to murder the English Language, and anyone who got in his way. (unknown)
  • Danny Vermin: You shouldn't kick me in the balls, Mrs. Kelly. My sister kicked me in the balls once...
    [Stumbles in pain] (unknown)
  • Johnny Kelly: Say kid, what do they call you?
    Lil: Impressive. (unknown)
  • Danny Vermin: I enjoy collecting protection money, putting whores to work, loan-sharking. I enjoy planting bombs in people's cars. These are a few of my favorite things. (unknown)
  • Johnny Dangerously: The name's Dangerously. Johnny Dangerously.
    Lil: Did you know you're last name is an adverb? (unknown)
  • Tommy Kelly: You were gonna take a bullet for me.
    Johnny Kelly: Actually, I was just counting on a lot of missing. (unknown)
  • Johnny Dangerously: I never should have picked a name like that. A name like that you gotta live up to. What's your last name?
    Hood: Binderhoff.
    Johnny Dangerously: Binderhoff? Perfect. Keep that name and you'll stay out of trouble. (unknown)
  • Prisoner: Johnny and the Mothers are playin' Stompin' At the Savoy in Vermont tonight. (unknown)
  • Lil: Get this to Johnny on the grapevine. Vermin is going to kill Johnny's brother at the savoy theater tomorrow night. Got it?
    Polly the parrot: Got it.
    [flies away]
    Polly the parrot: [arrives at prison mess hall and lands on the shoulder of a prisoner] Vermin is going to kill Johnny's brother at the Savoy theater. Pass it on.
    Prisoner: [to the next prisoner sitting next to him] Vermin is going to kill Johnny's brother at the Savoy theater tonight. Pass it on.
    Prisoner: [to the next prisoner, "telephone" style] Vermin is going to kill Johnny's mother at the Savoy theater tonight. Pass it on.
    Prisoner: [to the next prisoner] Vermin's mother is going to kill Johnny tonight at the Savoy theater. Pass it on.
    Prisoner: [to the next prisoner]
    [unintelligible]
    Prisoner: ... at the Savoy. Pass it on.
    Prisoner: There's a message through the grapevine, Johnny.
    Johnny Dangerously: Yeah? What is it?
    Prisoner: Johnny and the Mothers are playing "Stompin' at the Savoy" in Vermont tonight.
    Johnny Dangerously: Vermin's going to kill my brother at the Savoy theater tonight.
    Prisoner: I didn't say that.
    Johnny Dangerously: No, but I know this grapevine. (unknown)
  • [after his sabotaged toilet explodes]
    Jocko Dundee: [to Johnny] You got the number of that other plumber? (unknown)
  • Movie: Johnny Dangerously [1984]

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