 |
|
|
|
Quotes of Movie: It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World [1963]
|
|
Sylvester Marcus: Mama, who's with you? Where are you talking to me... Where are you?
Mrs. Marcus: I'm with this truck driver in Peterson's garage in a place called "Plaster City". And will you just *shut up* a minute so I can tell you what happened?
Sylvester Marcus: Now listen to me, Mommy, listen to me close. You stay right there, because I'm coming, Mom. I'm coming to get you.
Mrs. Marcus: Will you SHUT UP AND LISTEN?
Sylvester Marcus: Mama, it's alright. Everything's gonna be alright. Your baby's coming to get ya. I'm coming to get you, Mom. Just sit there. Sit there, relax, take it easy. I'm coming to get you, Mama. Everything is gonna be alright.
[Hangs up]
Lennie Pike: *Well*?
Mrs. Marcus: So he's coming here. And I'm not to worry about a thing, because "everything is going to be alright!"
Mrs. Marcus: [to Emmeline]
Mrs. Marcus: Exactly like your father: a big, stupid, *muscle-headed moron*! (unknown)
Lennie Pike: *Everybody* pays taxes!- Even businessmen, who rob and cheat and steal from people everyday, even *they* have to pay *taxes*! (unknown)
Benjy Benjamin: Now look! We've figured it seventeen different ways, and each time we figured it, it was no good, because no matter how we figured it, somebody don't like the way we figured it! So now, there's only one way to figure it. And that is, every man, including the old bag, for himself!
Ding Bell: So good luck, and may the best man *win*!
Benjy Benjamin: Except you lady: may *you* just *drop dead*!
Lennie Pike: All right, we all agree on that. Now look, let's be sensible about this. There's money in this for all of us. Right? There's enough for you, and there's enough for you, and for you, and there's enough for...
[they all race to their cars] (unknown)
Emmeline Finch: Oh Russell, I feel sick.
J. Russell Finch: Now take it easy honey, these things happen ya know.
Mrs. Marcus: Now what kind of an attitude is that, these things happen? They only happen because this whole country is just full of people, who when these things happen, they just say these things happen, and that's why they happen! We gotta have control of what happens to us. (unknown)
|
Third Cab Driver: Can't you see I'm talking on the phone? Huh? Give me two minutes! Now listen to me, Sir, I...
[Looks back at Melville]
Melville Crump: Will you take us to Santa Rosita state park?
Third Cab Driver: What's the matter, what happened to you? What was ya, in some kind of initiation?
Melville Crump: We had an accident. We fell into yellow, alright? Hurry up! (unknown)
J. Russell Finch: Here,
[pulls a blue bicycle from the mess of furniture that fell out of Pike's van]
J. Russell Finch: take this and go hire us the best car you can find.
Lennie Pike: But... this is a little girl's bike. This is for a little girl. Oh listen, I got to get this stuff back in so I can lock up the van.
J. Russell Finch: We'll put everything away. Will you get going please, will you hurry?
Lennie Pike: Oh okay... I gotta admit. I feel kinda silly. You know what I mean?
[Pedals away on the bicycle] (unknown)
Sylvester Marcus: I'm coming. That's what I'm here for. That's why you had me, Mama, to save you. (unknown)
J. Algernon Hawthorne: I must say that if I had the grievous misfortune to be a citizen of this benighted country, I should be the most hesitant of offering any criticism whatever of any other.
J. Russell Finch: Wait a minute, are you knocking this country? Are you saying something against America?
J. Algernon Hawthorne: Against it? I should be positively astounded to hear anything that could be said FOR it. Why the whole bloody place is the most unspeakable matriarchy in the whole history of civilization! Look at yourself! The way your wife and her strumpet of a mother push you through the hoop! As far as I can see, American men have been totally emasculated- they're like slaves! They die like flies from coronary thrombosis while their women sit under hairdryers eating chocolates & arranging for every 2nd Tuesday to be some sort of Mother's Day! And this infantile preoccupation with bosoms. In all time in this Godforsaken country, the one thing that has appalled me most of all this this prepostrous preoccupation with bosoms. Don't you realize they have become the dominant theme in American culture: in literature, advertising and all fields of entertainment and everything. I'll wager you anything you like that if American women stopped wearing brassieres, your whole national economy would collapse overnight. (unknown)
Otto Meyer: [Honking car as it pulls into the Ray & Irwin Garage] Fellas. I'm glad you're here. Look, I need your help. Here's what happened. I had this blowout. I think there's a spare in the back. It may be a little flat. Take a look at it will you kid? Is there an airport anyplace around here? Look, if the spare is flat don't bother fixing it. Gimme a new tire, alright? You ain't got a new tire? Then you'll have to fix the spare. But don't look at me. Move it, will you kid? You, you could be gassing up while he's working. What is it a staring contest? Come on!
[claps his hands over and over]
Otto Meyer: Move! Move, will you kid? Come on! (unknown)
Tyler Fitzgerald: You know what I need? I need a drink. There's some ice and stuff back there. Why don't you make us all some old fashioneds?
Ding Bell: "Old Fashioneds"? Do you think you oughta *drink* while you're *flying*?
Tyler Fitzgerald: Well stop kidding, will ya, and make us some drinks! You just press the button back there marked "booze". It's the *only* way to *fly*! (unknown)
Mrs. Marcus: [holding cactus plant] Where should I stick this?
J. Russell Finch: [double take] Oh boy. (unknown)
J. Russell Finch: Now I give you my word. I wanted to stop you, he wanted to stop for you. But tell him, tell him how my mother in-law made us drive right by you...
Lennie Pike: Listen, anything you got to say about your mother in-law, you don't have to explain to me. You know what I mean? Like if she were the star of a real crummy horror movie, I'd believe it. (unknown)
Mrs. Marcus: Now for the last time. Are we calling Sylvester or not?
J. Russell Finch: No! We are not! And I'll tell you why not. Because your son Sylvester is an irresponsible, unreliable, big loudmouth no good bum! Who if he isn't a crook? It’s because he doesn't have the brains or ambition even to become a crook!
J. Algernon Hawthorne: I say: *Good show*! (unknown)
Capt. T.G. Culpeper: [answering phone] : Hello, Ginger? What's the matter now?
Ginger Culpeper: It's Billie Sue. Her new boyfriend, Oscar, was supposed to come down here from Pamona just to meet us. So now, she called him and told him we were goin' away.
Capt. T.G. Culpeper: Well, what's the matter?
Ginger Culpeper: You keep forgetting if a girl is six-feet-five inches tall, she's bound to have special problems. They had some argument and then, they started screaming at each other. And now, the whole engagement's off, and she says she's leaving.
Capt. T.G. Culpeper: Leaving what? Leaving home? Let me talk to her. Get her to the phone.
Ginger Culpeper: I'll try. Just a minute.
[to Billie Sue]
Ginger Culpeper: Talk to your father.
Billie Sue Culpeper: I won't. I don't wanna talk to him ever!
Ginger Culpeper: Don't be ridiculous. Whatever else he is, he is your father. (unknown)
J. Russell Finch: Hey, did you see th-the way he went SAILING right out there? (unknown)
Lennie Pike: [furious] So! So someone will "stumble over the little girl's bicycle in the dark", huh? Well when I'm finished with *you*, they'll be stumbling over *YOU* in the *dark*! (unknown)
J. Russell Finch: Lets stop arguing please! The only reason were together is because they only had one car. So lets get there, even if we are last.
J. Algernon Hawthorne: Whatever the outcome of the day I shall never forget that you hit me when I wasn't even looking!
J. Russell Finch: [smiling] yeah. (unknown)
Otto Meyer: I can't cross here. You said the main road. This is Niagra Falls. Alright, you're a little boy. You wanna be a big boy? Which way to the main road? (unknown)
Tower Controller at Rancho Conejo: In another couple of minutes, we'll have them in position, Colonel.
Col. Wilberforce: In another couple of minutes, men, we'll have you in position.
Tower Controller at Rancho Conejo: [Sarcastically] You're doing a great job, Colonel.
Col. Wilberforce: Thank you.
Radio tower operator at Rancho Conejo: Why don't we just shoot them down and be through with it? (unknown)
[Benjy is trying to fly an airplane]
Benjy Benjamin: Dingy, don't let this worry you- *We're gonna get killed*! (unknown)
Man in car in desert: Trouble? Having any trouble?
Mrs. Marcus: Yes, and we don't need any help from you!
[Brief pause]
Man in car in desert: Well! (unknown)
Ding Bell: You see our grandmother lives in Rosita Beach, see, and she's dying and she kinda like to have us be with her when she goes.
Benjy Benjamin: Otherwise she won't go.
[Bell bumps him]
Benjy Benjamin: Uh, she'll go! (unknown)
Benjy Benjamin: Wall? Walnut tree?
Ding Bell: No.
Benjy Benjamin: Walnuts?
Ding Bell: No.
Benjy Benjamin: In bags?
Ding Bell: NO! (unknown)
Benjy Benjamin: If I have to climb much more of *this* I'll be lying down there *with* him! (unknown)
Lennie Pike: And then they decide I'm supposed to get a smaller share, like I'm someone extra special stupid. Even if it is a democracy, in a democracy it don't matter how stupid you are, you still get an equal share. (unknown)
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
