Pnub: As usual, marijuana saves an otherwise disastrous day. (unknown)
Anton: Hey, I didn't kill anyone on purpose, okay?
Mick: Yeah, well, we weren't in hell! I mean, there was this bright white light at the end of a long tunnel, right, and there was these chicks' voices, and that music...
Anton: Music?
Pnub: Yeah, kinda uncool music, like, Enya. And these chicks' voices, they were saying, "come to us, come towards the light".
Anton: So what happened?
Mick: We figured, fuck it, I mean, it was really far! (unknown)
Mick: [to 911 operator] There is something wrong with my friend, I think he smoked some nutmeg or something. (unknown)
Anton: So, what are you guys doing here?
Pnub: We need a place to kick it. Don't be selfish, Anton! No one else's parents are dead! (unknown)
Pnub: And if your mother had teeth, she wouldn't suck dick so well. What's your point?" (unknown)
Mick: I'm gonna go call 911. What's the number? (unknown)
Anton: [singing] Devil girl, with nothin' to lose, she's got wind in her hair and gum on her sho-o-o-es! (unknown)
Anton: We're gathered here today... um... because you're all dead. (unknown)
Mick: [holding an electric carving knife] Look at me! Look at me! I'm Leatherface! (unknown)
[Anton is about to chop off his 'evil' right hand]
Mick: Wait a minute. If you chop off your right hand, how are you going to chop the other one off?
Anton: Oh no, man, the lefty's a keeper. I mean, I guess it wasn't idle enough.
Mick: Really?
Anton: Oh yeah, I mean, I hit the remote with it, light up with it, relieve a little tension. No, this is the answer. (unknown)
Anton: You lied to me!
Mick: You killed me, let's try to keep this thing in perspective here! (unknown)
Anton: Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today because you're all dead... and it's all my fault. Mom, Dad, you fed me, kept a roof over my head until I killed you. Which I guess doesn't make me a very good son. But, I'm gonna try to change.
[hand twitches]
Anton: Mick, Pnub I'll never forget all those times we sat around, watched TV and got really, really stoned. And all those other times we just... well I guess that's all we did.
[picks flowers from garden and throws them over the 'graves']
Anton: Amen. (unknown)
Anton: What the fuck are you doing, man? Come on, that's my dad!
Pnub: CPR, man! I saw it on Baywatch, man! (unknown)
Pnub: Maybe we should clean that up.
Mick: Yeah, and while we're at it, let's just clean the whole fuckin' house. (unknown)
Mick: Yeah, I was a little bitter about the getting killed by my best friend thing, but I've had time to get over it. (unknown)
Pnub: Why would we go to hell? We're not bad, we're not exactly good or anything, but at least we don't go around killing people! (unknown)
Girl outside Burger Jungle: Like this one time they asked me to go on a double date, and I thought they were 'tards or something...
[starts crying]
Girl outside Burger Jungle: ... so I told them to go blow each other.
Randy: Wow! Did they? (unknown)
Anton: [while attempting to cut his hand off] This is it, I know it.
Pnub: Those things won't even cut my bagel. (unknown)
Pnub: You scream like a girl. (unknown)
Anton: All I do is sit around all day, smoke pot, watch TV...
Mick: No, no! No Kevin Costner speech, let's just go! (unknown)
Mick: Anton it's killing me to see me to see you this stressed out man. You cut off your hand in the interest of who knows how many others. So, what I want you to do is take a little Anton time. Okay just relax, kick back my man.
Anton: No, no, no, you know what? Not this time. Okay I'm through with that, I mean all I do is I sit around all day I veg out, I watch TV, I smoke pot ...
Mick: No, no, no, no Kevin Costner speeches okay? Let's just go. (unknown)
|
