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Quotes of Movie: Carpool [1996] (Jamaica)
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Travis: Oh, I ate mud once. Tasted okay. But they had to take me to the hospital and pump my stomach and I met a guy with a monkey heart! (unknown)
Travis: I'm not crazy.
Daniel: I didn't say you were.
Travis: I was tested, ya know.
Daniel: Well then you obviously cheated. (unknown)
Old Lady: He was a very annoying man.
Reporter: The gun man?
Old Lady: No, the gun man was very polite. (unknown)
Daniel: What are you doing?
Franklin: Driving into the back of a truck, Dan, you ever watch the A-Team? (unknown)
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Franklin: We could use a nut like you down at the carnival. Ever bite the head off a chicken?
Mr. Hammerman: Not lately. (unknown)
Franklin: Where are your donuts?
Todd: Sir, we're a gourmet market.
Franklin: Okay, where are your gourmet donuts? (unknown)
Old Lady: What adorable children.
Daniel: You want'em? 'Cause I'll sell them to you real cheap. (unknown)
Franklin: We've got a ferris wheel, tilt-a-whirl, bumper cars.
Bucky: I like bumper cars.
Franklin: Actually it's bumper *car*, the bank repossessed the rest of them. (unknown)
Daniel: [about the ferris wheel] I'm not getting on that death trap.
Franklin: Oh we won that law suit.
Daniel: Huh?
Franklin: Okay we tied, but it's still safe. Come on, I'll show you how to operate it. It's so easy a trained monkey could do it and it did until that uproar with the Humane Society. (unknown)
Franklin: [noticing a woman getting her lips waxed] That's amazing. I'd never have to shave Mom's hump again. Um, that is, she's got a hump on the back of her neck. (unknown)
Franklin: Boy you're touchy.
Travis: He's got hemorrhoids, Franklin.
Franklin: You got 'roids? (unknown)
Daniel: Can't one of the neighbors drive the carpool? What about Mr. Kopek?
Mrs. Miller: He's 88.
Daniel: So he'll drive real slow.
Mrs. Miller: He's had three strokes.
Daniel: But never while driving. (unknown)
Franklin: [a jelly filled danish got rubbed on his shirt] Great! Raspberry glaze!
Old Lady: Soak it in cold water.
Franklin: Thank you very much, ma'am, and by the way, someone your age should be a little more careful with a hand gun.
Old Lady: Bite me. (unknown)
Mrs. Lazzlo: Listen, cutie pie when they reposess the truck, you won't have to leave them any gas.
Franklin: Right, you're the expert on gas, Mom. (unknown)
Franklin: Uh oh. I dropped my wallet. I can't drive without a driver's license, you'll have to switch with me.
Daniel: I don't think that rule applies when committing a felony.
Franklin: Oh, right. (unknown)
Franklin: Listen, Dan, I'm not a perfect person. I see a buck on the ground, I pick it up. Sometimes I take more than 10 items right through the express lane, and I have a temper, like my neighbor plays his music too loud. So I killed him, I cut him up and I put him in my freezer. I'm just kidding! Just breaking the tension! (unknown)
Lt. Serdman: I'd say you picked the wrong store to rob this time, pal.
Franklin: Excuse me, Lieutenant but I am not robbing this store.
Lt. Serdman: Yeah right, I suppose that's a bag of donuts you got there right?
Franklin: They don't even serve donuts here, you should know that, you're a cop. (unknown)
[They are listening to a heavy metal song]
Franklin: Great tape. This yours?
Daniel: Oh yeah, I got everything by the Screaming Idiots.
Franklin: This is the Ramones, actually, I haven't heard the Idiots yet, maybe you can turn me on to them. (unknown)
Circus Performer: We've come to give you back our pay checks.
Franklin: Aw you didn't have to do that.
Circus Performer: Sure we did. They bounced. Listen, Franklin, you've been very good to us, but we've gotten an offer from Wingling Brothers.
Franklin: *THE* Ringling Brothers?
Circus Performer: No, *WINGLING* Brothers! (unknown)
[Andrew got an F on his spelling test]
Andrew: Mrs. Karkanie is giving me a do over. She says everyone get's a second chance.
Daniel: That's only because she's been married 5 times. Let me tell you something, sport, in the business world there are no second chances. (unknown)
[location: in their van which is inside a refrigeration truck]
Andrew: It's freezing.
Franklin: Huddle together if you're cold, I'll turn on the heat.
Daniel: That's brilliant. See in order to get heat you have to turn on the engine, thereby trapping the fumes and rendering us all dead by asphixiation.
Franklin: In that case forget the heat. Hey who farted? Did you cut the cheese, Dan?
Daniel: For God's sake, no I did not.
Franklin: How about you, Kayla?
Kayla: Girls don't fart.
Franklin: Really? Come over to my house sometime and ask my mom why all our cats committed suicide. (unknown)
Franklin: Hey there, Dan, you're late.
Daniel: Well I didn't take our usual shortcut through the mall. (unknown)
Franklin: [on his way to the bank, contemplating his robbery plan] This will go smooth. Unless they shoot me, which they won't because I'm gonna draw first. Of course they could push that button under the counter, but I know it's gonna be fine.
[Parks and approaches bank. The doors are locked and standing inside is a guard]
Franklin: Oh hey, buddy, I need you to open a safe for me. I mean an account, a safe account. But I see you're not open right now so I'll go grab a cup of coffee and come back later. (unknown)
Daniel: Believe me, Hammerman's is better than mud.
Bucky: Is that gonna be your new Hammerman's slogan, Dad? (unknown)
[Daniel races for the phone. Franklin stops him]
Franklin: No calls! That is, no obscene calls. He's trying to quit.
Daniel: I am not.
Franklin: Well you should! What's your phone number?
Daniel: 9-1-1.
Franklin: Very funny. Do realize if I get arrested you won't make your meeting because you'll be filling out police reports until next October. (unknown)
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Movie: Carpool [1996]
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