Dennis Van Welker: You know, back in the '60s when we said we wanted to change society, maybe we should've been more specific. (unknown)
Fein: Back in the 60's, some hippies came here and turned the place into a commune. You know, sex, and drugs, and debauchery.
Dennis Van Welker: Knew I'd been here before.
Gaby: Eww! You did that stuff here?
Dennis Van Welker: No... not *here*.
[Takes a step to the right and nods] (unknown)
Arnold: Relax... it'll be fine... I mean we're not complete morons! (unknown)
Lt. Eliot Hendricks: Fleur... what the hell are you doing? (unknown)
Gaby: [on Dennis Van Welker] Last year, he tried to do 'Silence of the Lambs' as a musical. (unknown)
Karl Dell: I'm freezing my nuts off out here!
Zach: You can thaw em' out later. (unknown)
Dennis Van Welker: Do you know what the first rule of the theater is, Mud?
"Mud": No...
Dennis Van Welker: [shouts] Talk loud enough for people to hear you!
"Mud": OK... so...
"Mud": [shouts] Are you gonna help me?
Dennis Van Welker: Much better... No. (unknown)
"Mud": [complaining about his parents] Jesus, they talk about me like... I'm unemployed or something. (unknown)
"Mud": Zach, you're gonna put somebody's eye out!... I'm turning into my parents. (unknown)
Dennis Van Welker: [some advice to Mud] Here's what you do: get lost! Disappear into the woods for five or six hours. When you show up they'll be so glad you haven't been eaten by bears, they'll forget the other stuff! (unknown)
"Mud": Maybe we could go out when you get b... chests? (unknown)
T.R. Polk: [after getting the money for Dennis' car] You're a little short.
"Mud": Well... you're a little fat. (unknown)
Zach: I just gotta say... THIS IS MAJOR COOL,YEAH! (unknown)
Zach: You know, if you were wearing a skirt right now, I'd be in heaven. (unknown)
Grocery Checker: Can I see your ID? You gotta be 19 to buy this stuff.
Zach: No problem.
Grocery Checker: You were born in 1963?
Zach: Yeah.
Grocery Checker: And that would make you?
Zach: 21.
Grocery Checker: Wrong. It's 1994. That would make you 31.
Trish: Wrong! If he was born in 1963, and he's 21, then it's 1984! Uh! (unknown)
"Mud": Who's this?
Dennis Van Welker: Winston Churchill. Jimi Hendrix of the spoken word.
"Mud": Who's Jimi Hendrix?
Dennis Van Welker: Michael Jordan of the electric guitar. (unknown)
Lenny: [Quoting lines from "A Streetcar Named Desire"] This is my *goddamn* house, and I'll talk any *goddamn* way I want to!
Debbie: Now, Stanley, there's no cause to use such language to Blanche! (unknown)
"Mud": I'm in hell. Shoot me. (unknown)
[the twins are arguing over what city to "bomb"]
Ashley, Twin: Minneapolis!
Amber, Twin: Milwaukee!
Ashley, Twin: Minneapolis!
Amber, Twin: Milwaukee!
Ashley, Twin: But Grandma lives in Milwaukee.
Ashley, Twin, Amber, Twin: [beat] Milwaukee!
[Milwaukee explodes] (unknown)
"Mud": How could you invite her over?! She's going to find out!
Dennis Van Welker: Mud, in a couple of years, two things will happen. One, you'll grow a ridiculous mustache that looks fruit mold on your upper lip. Two, you'll suddenly understand why men invite charming, attractive women to dinner. (unknown)
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