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Quotes of Movie: Bewitched [2005]
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Jack Wyatt: How would you like to be on a television show?
Isabel Bigelow: An actress?
[scoffs]
Jack Wyatt: Yeah, if I can act, *you* can act.
Coffee Shop Waitress: Amen.
Jack Wyatt: [to girl] You know what? I think those people over there just finished their plate of hummus. (unknown)
Isabel Bigelow: I am through with just snapping my fingers and getting my way.
Coffee Shop Waitress: Uh, no breakfast after 11.
Isabel Bigelow: Oh.
[snaps fingers and clock turns back from 11 to 10:55]
Isabel Bigelow: My absolutely last thing! (unknown)
Maria Kelly: I love that show! Is that the one with the genie? (unknown)
Isabel Bigelow: Guess what? I'm a witch!
Jack Wyatt: Guess what? I'm a Clippers fan! (unknown)
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[Isabel changes a tarot card into a Visa Platinum Card to pay at Bed, Bath, and Beyond]
Isabel Bigelow: That was my last thing as a witch! (unknown)
Jack Wyatt: Your home... is with me. (unknown)
Uncle Arthur: Run, you idiot. (unknown)
Uncle Arthur: Do you want the long version or the short version? And I have to warn you, the long version is in Aramaic. (unknown)
Jack Wyatt: [takes a drink of something Uncle Arthur has just made in the blender] This tastes awful!
Uncle Arthur: I know. I just like to blend. (unknown)
Jack Wyatt: [upon discovering Isabel is a witch] Am I gonna get pregnant? Because I cannot get pregnant right now! (unknown)
Isabel Bigelow: But everyone loves duck...
Jack Wyatt: No, they don't! (unknown)
Isabel Bigelow: [jumping up and down in excitement with Maria] I don't know why we're doing this, but it's fun!! (unknown)
Isabel Bigelow: [after Darin's dog jumps into her arms] Thank God you didn't have a great Dane! (unknown)
Isabel Bigelow: [Jack Wyatt is being a jerk on "Inside the Actor's Studio." Isabel gets on the phone with Nina.] Yes, I'm watching it. What's a "dick?" (unknown)
Isabel Bigelow: [Isabel rewinds time to undo a hex that was put on Jack and ends up back to where she was on the phone with Nina while watching Jack on "Inside the Actor's Studio."] Yes, I'm watching it, and you're right, he is a great big male reproductive organ! (unknown)
Ritchie: Now, get out there and be the mayor of Pussytown!
Jack Wyatt: I don't want to be the mayor of Pussytown!
Ritchie: Then get out there and be the sheriff of Ballsville! (unknown)
Valet: [to Isabel, who is trying to convince Jack that she is actually a witch] Miss, could you direct me to your car.
Jack Wyatt: [sarcastically] Oh, she doesn't need a car, she has a broomstick. (unknown)
Maria Kelly: When my first husband left me I was so angry I wanted to cut his brake cables... but instead we ended up having sex on the elliptical machine. (unknown)
Jack Wyatt: Endora, you rancid fruit bag, get out of my room. (unknown)
Jack Wyatt: Let's make love in a hot-air balloon - let's make love in a candy factory - let's make love in a petting zoo-
Isabel Bigelow: I have to undo this...
Jack Wyatt: Let's make love at Sea World on the back of a killer whale! (unknown)
Jack Wyatt: I'm going to be killed by a fictional character!
Uncle Arthur: Yes, you are. (unknown)
Girl: [Nigel Bigelow does a double take at a pretty girl] Hey there! I have Hepatitis C! (unknown)
Ritchie: That's it. You're fired.
Isabel Bigelow: Doesn't matter... I quit! Yeah, so you better call my agent.
Jim Fields: You don't have an agent.
Isabel Bigelow: Then call my cable man! (unknown)
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