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Quotes of Movie: American Pie 2 [2001]
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Michelle: Okay, pretend I'm a hot girl. Now what do you want to do?
Jim: I want to feel your boobs.
Michelle: No, you dingbat. You don't just go groping away. You gotta pre-heat the oven before you stick in the turkey. (unknown)
Stifler: Holy shit dude. I found a dildo. Dildo. Dildo. Dildo. Big blue rubber dicks for everyone. The people demand rubber dicks.
Jim: What are you doing?
Stifler: Looking for more lesbian artifacts.
[hands Jim the dildo]
Jim: Where did you get this?
Stifler: Finch's ass. (unknown)
[trying to return the dildo Stifler found]
Jim: Which room, man? Which room?
Stifler: I can't remember shit, man, I was too excited! I'm in a lesbian stronghold. (unknown)
Stifler: Ladies, I am down with the funky shit. (unknown)
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[Noticing the women's natural attraction to Oz]
Jim: Amazing.
Stifler: Yes, the force is strong in that one. (unknown)
Jim: This is my first time, since my first time. (unknown)
Sherman: I am the Sherminator, a sophisticated Sex-Robot sent through time to change the future for one lucky lady.
Nadia: And I am lucky lady?
Sherman: Nadia, you've been targeted for Shermination. Come with me if you want to live. (unknown)
[Stifler's brother shows off two girls he picked up]
Stifler: Brilliant. You found Lesbians.
[scoffs]
Stifler: Good luck trying to break through that force field.
Danielle: Lesbians?
Amber: We never said that.
Stifler: What?
Amber: We never said that.
Stifler: Oh... Oh, man. I will do anything... ANYTHING to sleep with you, chicks, okay? I'll grab every guy's ass in this room. I'll caress it even. I'll even shave some ass if they need it!
[sounds of revulsion from young men at party]
Stifler: Oh, yeah! You heard me! I will kiss everybody here! Dudes, chicks, everybody! Because I am comfortable with my sexuality! (unknown)
[Jim's Dad sees Jim looking at pictures of Nadia]
Jim's Dad: Ah, yes. The one that got away.
Jim: Yeah.
Jim's Dad: Yeah. Well, evidently you two made quite the handsome couple on the Internet... Oh, I didn't see it. It, uh, was brought up at a P.T.A. meeting. (unknown)
Stifler: I got peed on! (unknown)
Kevin: So, how are the twig and giggleberries this morning?
Jim: Oh, very colorful, my dick looks like a paint by number.
Stifler: Jim, you're the only guy I know who's dick needs an instruction manual. (unknown)
[the two "lesbians" are making the guys give each other hand jobs]
Stifler: Its okay. Its okay. I know what I have to do.
[starts undoing his shorts]
Stifler: I have to keep this party going. I'm taking one for the team.
[Finch and Jim run away]
Finch: I AM NOT TOUCHING THAT.
Jim: PUT THAT THING AWAY STIFLER.
Stifler: What's wrong with you guys? We almost had them. Why can't you guys be team players, huh? I was the one doing all the sacrificing. (unknown)
Stifler: [answers the phone after awkward situation with Jim and Finch] Stiffler's palace of love... STRAIGHT love. (unknown)
[Jim is kissing Michelle's collar bone]
Michelle: Good Jim. Ooh, you're making me wet.
Jim: Holy shit, really?
Michelle: No, I was just saying that so you could practice.
Jim: 'course. (unknown)
Jim: This is good. This is good. Obviously.
Michelle: Oh. Gilligan's Island, Mr. Howell.
Jim: Eh, what?
Michelle: You've gotta control yourself and think of something non-sexual. I haven't even touched you yet and you're turning into the Sears Tower. (unknown)
Stifler's brother: STEVE. Those are my lesbians. (unknown)
Heather: [On the phone to Oz] Oz what should I do now?
Stifler: [Also on the phone pretending to be Oz] Oh Heather baby. Why don't you tell me my dick is as big as Stifler's.
Oz: Stifler get off.
Stifler: I am getting off listening to the two of you. Keep going. (unknown)
Stifler: Where are the Fuckin' females? (unknown)
Stifler: Oh God, I kissed Jim. (unknown)
Stifler: [Stiffler and Jim have just kissed passionately, trying to get the girls to do each other] Dude, you're a fuckin' LOUSY kisser.
Jim: What? That's not fair! I wasn't TRYING there.
[to the girls]
Jim: I'm really bett...
Danielle: No judgment.
Jim: Wait a second, you were trying?
Stifler: Fuck, no!
Jim: You WERE trying!
Stifler: YOU were trying! Oh no I kissed Jim! (unknown)
[over the radio]
Stifler's brother: Steve the copwatch thing is horse shit. Man this sucks.
Danielle: Who is it out there?
Stifler's brother: It's the Stifmeister baby.
Amber: Is that so? (unknown)
Jim: That counted.
Stifler: That totally counted.
Danielle: That's the way to kiss you're mother.
Stifler: [to Finch] DON'T YOU SAY ANYTHING. (unknown)
Heather: [Interrupted during phone call] Marco can you get your balls off me?
Oz: Heather what the hell is going on over there? (unknown)
Stifler: You stay the fuck away from that ficus. That is a jiz-free ficus. (unknown)
Michelle: This one time... um, here. (unknown)
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Movie: American Pie 2 [2001] | [2]
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