Quotes of Movie: Anger Management [2003]
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Temper's the one thing you can't get rid of, by losing it. In Europe, it's not considered unusual for three of four men to share a bed. Dave Buznik: That's why I'm proud to be an American. How 'bout a kiss? Dr. Buddy Rydell: I'd love a kiss. Dave Buznik: I think she's talkin' to me. And, uh, I think I can handle it. [throws a plate of eggs across the room] I SAID OVEREASY! [pause] Dr. Buddy Rydell: Now, why did I do that? Dave Buznik: Because I refused to spoon with you last night? | |
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Ohh, the anger sharks are swimming in my head! Uh, Nate? Nate: Yes, Mr. Rydell? Dr. Buddy Rydell: I thought we agreed not to listen to games while in sessions. Nate: Oh, it's perfectely fine Mr. Rydell. I got it under control. See? Iverson just missed the shot, the Sixers lose. Who cares?... THE ANGER SHARKS ARE SWIMMING MY HEAD. YOU GOTTA DUNK THAT SHIT! YOU GOTTA DUNK THAT SHIT! Now then we need to go over some ground rules. You are to refrain from any any acts of violence including verbal assault and vulgar hand gestures. You may not use rage enhancing substances, such as caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, crack cocaine, slippy-flippy's, jelly stingers, trick sticks, bing bangs or flying willards. Dave Buznik: How 'bout fiddle-faddels? Dr. Buddy Rydell: Under my supervision. Also, if you are unable to stop masterbating please, do so without the use of any pornographic images depicting quote, unquote 'angry sex.' That having been said, I'm a pretty good guy and I think you'll be pleasantly surprised how much fun we can have together. Dave Buznik: Geez, without slippy-flippy's or angry masterbating I don't see how that's possible. Dr. Buddy Rydell: Sarcasm is anger's ugly cousin... from now on, unacceptable. [singing] I feel pretty / oh, so pretty / oh, so pretty and witty and... [pause] Dave Buznik: gay... You can do it! I have a question: Why is it that Chuck here thinks he could smoke? Chuck: Cause I do whatever I want whenever I want, you little Spanish fruit topping. Lou: Honey, at least I didn't make my aunt pregnant. Five hour drive to find out mommy had a jelly bean removed from her nose... Glad I missed work. Can we eat now? Look everybody, Pana Banana's got a heinie! He's got a heinie! Alright, I'm going to need for you to retard your anger level a few notches and listen to me, can you do that? Dave Buznik: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah... it's retarded, I'm retarded. Dr. Buddy Rydell: You kicked some serious monk-ass there, baby! I told you not to go there! I told you not to go there! Eskimos seem nice. I'm not a homophobe, I'm a pulling-out-my-penis-in-front-of-you-ophobe. Can you please give me your name Mr. Head, and please don't tell me it's Dick! She said she was going out with a friend named Andrea. Dave Buznik: She doesn't have a friend named Andrea. Did she say Andrew? Dr. Buddy Rydell: Oh, ah, yes Andrew... the testicle with legs. Here's my phone number. [Dave reads it] Dave Buznik: "You're gonna die, bitch"? Chuck: Oh, sorry. That's a letter I'm writing to Geraldo Rivera. Hi, I'm glad I'm not the only one in anger management. Bobby Knight: What? I don't need anger management! I thought this was sexaholics anonymous! Dave Buznik: Uh, I think that's down the hall. Bobby Knight: Oh, *screw* this! [throws his book across the room and stomps off] I think Eskimos are smug. I'm going to need you to retard your anger. Dave Buznik: It's retarded. I'm retarded. I'm sorry I was so rude before... but... it's difficult for me... to... express myself... when I am on the verge of... exploding in my pants. Kendra: You are too cute. Dave Buznik: Get the fuck out of here. Now you are going to go up to her and tell her the following, "I'm sorry I was so rude before but it's difficult for me to express myself when I am on the verge of exploding in my pants." Dave Buznik: Huh?... No! Dr. Buddy Rydell: Listen, if you don't tell her that, I'll fail you and send you to prison. Dave Buznik: So if I go up to her and repeat that crazy shit probably stolen from a porno film, you sick bastard, you'll release me from the program? | |
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