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Quotes of Movie: Analyze This [1999]

  • Dr. Ben Sobel: What is my goal here, to make you a happy, well-adjusted gangster? (unknown)
  • Dr. Ben Sobel: When I got into family therapy, this was not the "family" I had in mind. (unknown)
  • [afterreceiving a lavish gift from Vitti]
    Dr. Ben Sobel: Call the Vatican. See if something is missing. (unknown)
  • Boss Paul Vitti: [to Dr. Sobel] If I talk to you, and you turn me into a fag... im gonna kill you , you understand? (unknown)
  • Boss Paul Vitti: Hey, I got news for you, you little two-bit prick, son-of-a-bitch, rat-bastard you did nothing for me! Whatever you did the other day didn't take! I'm still fucked up! You did fucking NOTHING for me!
    Dr. Ben Sobel: Hey, what do you expect? I saw you for five minutes! I can't work miracles, Mr. Viti! And let me tell you something, I do not appreciate it when someone sneaks into my hotel room and kidnaps me in the middle of the night. I have a life, Mr. Viti, I have a family, and I have a serious practice, and I don't have time for your BULLSHIT!... That got away from me at the end there. (unknown)
  • Dr. Ben Sobel: What happened with your wife last night?
    Boss Paul Vitti: I wasn't with my wife, I was with my girlfriend.
    Dr. Ben Sobel: Are you having marriage problems?
    Boss Paul Vitti: No.
    Dr. Ben Sobel: Then why do you have a girlfriend?
    Boss Paul Vitti: What, are you gonna start moralizing on me?
    Dr. Ben Sobel: No, I'm not, I'm just trying to understand, why do you have a girlfriend?
    Boss Paul Vitti: I do things with her I can't do with my wife.
    Dr. Ben Sobel: Why can't you do them with your wife?
    Boss Paul Vitti: Hey, that's the mouth she kisses my kids goodnight with! What are you, crazy? (unknown)
  • Dr. Ben Sobel: Oedipus was a Greek king who killed his father and married his mother.
    Boss Paul Vitti: Fuckin' Greeks. (unknown)
  • Boss Paul Vitti: You know me?
    Dr. Ben Sobel: Yes.
    Boss Paul Vitti: No you don't.
    Dr. Ben Sobel: Okay.
    Boss Paul Vitti: You see my picture in the paper?
    Dr. Ben Sobel: Yes.
    Boss Paul Vitti: No you didn't.
    Dr. Ben Sobel: I don't even get the paper. (unknown)
  • Boss Paul Vitti: I wasn't really gonna whack you.
    Dr. Ben Sobel: Paul...
    Boss Paul Vitti: Okay, I was gonna whack you. But I was real conflicted about it. (unknown)
  • Dr. Ben Sobel: Let me get this straight: you flew all the way down to Miami and kidnapped me from my hotel room in the middle of the night just because you couldn't get an erection?
    Boss Paul Vitti: Don't that prove I'm motivated?
    Dr. Ben Sobel: You know, you can take a pill for that.
    Boss Paul Vitti: Nah, you start with the pills, the next thing you know you're putting in hydraulics. A hard-on should be achieved legitimately or it shouldn't be achieved at all.
    Dr. Ben Sobel: Hmm, I think Mark Twain said that, didn't he? (unknown)
  • Primo: I'd like to see a movie, but it's nothing but this shoot-em-up action bullshit. I get enough of that at work. (unknown)
  • Michael Sobel: Was that really Paul Vitti?
    Dr. Ben Sobel: Well, I didn't ask to see his Mafia decoder ring, but yes. (unknown)
  • [Preparing to kill him]
    Jelly: Sorry, Doc. Nothing personal.
    Dr. Ben Sobel: Don't kid yourself, Jelly, it doesn't get more personal. (unknown)
  • Dr. Ben Sobel: They threw me in the shark tank, Paul! The shark tank!
    Boss Paul Vitti: Hey, they were trying to make a point.
    Dr. Ben Sobel: What, that you're a scary guy? Believe me, I get it. (unknown)
  • Boss Paul Vitti: [telling Ben about a dream after Jelly promises not to listen] My wife wakes me up, it's the middle of the night, the baby's crying. I go to the refrigerator to get a bottle of milk, and the milk is black.
    Jelly: That's fuckin' weird. (unknown)
  • Michael Sobel: Dad has a patient who thinks he shits trout. (unknown)
  • Dr. Ben Sobel: Doc, if you gotta talk, try to be vague. Can you do that?
    Dr. Ben Sobel: I'm a psychiatrist. Believe me, I can be vague. (unknown)
  • Boss Paul Vitti: I can feel the juices rushing back to my balls as we speak.
    Dr. Ben Sobel: Well, that's something I never thought I'd hear another man say to me. (unknown)
  • Dr. Ben Sobel: Paul, you have to channel all this nice grief into a murderous rage. (unknown)
  • Dr. Ben Sobel: You don't hear the word "no" a lot, do you?
    Boss Paul Vitti: Well, I hear it all the time, only it's more like "no, please, no!" (unknown)
  • Boss Paul Vitti: [to the "Captain"] Hey, why don't you look over that way before I bust you in your fuckin' head. (unknown)
  • Dr. Ben Sobel: I am redefining weird on an hourly basis. (unknown)
  • Dr. Ben Sobel: You know normally a patient wouldn't have a vat of Scotch during a session. (unknown)
  • Primo: Get a dictionary. Find out what this "closure" thing is. If that's what he's going to hit us with, I want to be ready. (unknown)
  • Dr. Ben Sobel: You know what I do when I'm angry? I hit a pillow. Just hit the pillow, see how you feel.
    [Vitti pulls out a gun and shoots a pillow]
    Boss Paul Vitti: There's your fuckin' pillow.
    Dr. Ben Sobel: Feel better?
    Boss Paul Vitti: Yeah, I do. (unknown)
    • Movie: Analyze This [1999] | [2] | [3]
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