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Quotes of Movie: American Wedding [2003]

  • Steve Stifler: Well polish my nuts and serve me a milkshake. (unknown)
  • Steve Stifler: It's time for me to boom-boom with the bridesmaids, Finch-fucker. 'Cause I'm gonna hang out with my wang out, and rock out with my cock out. (unknown)
  • Jim's Dad: Michelle, do you know why they call it "making love"?
    Michelle: No, I just call it boning. (unknown)
  • Jim's Dad: Why do you think, uh, Michelle, they call it "making love"?
    Michelle: I don't know. I just call it "boning".
    Jim's Dad: Boning? Well, when-when you're doing other things with Jim, when you're not... um... boning, how does he make you feel?
    Michelle: Horny, like I wanna bone.
    Jim's Dad: But-but, we can't be boning from sunrise to sunset, dear.
    Michelle: Oh, you've never tried it?
    Jim's Dad: I certainly have. I have. I've boned... from sunrise, uh, right through brunch on more than one occasion. (unknown)
  • Paul Finch: Now, Jim, let me handle this. These are my people.
    Steve Stifler: They're gay?
    Paul Finch: No, you bleating imbecile. They have style, they're cultured, they're sophisticated.
    Steve Stifler: So, they're gay. (unknown)
  • [first lines]
    Jim: Well, Michelle, we did it. Happy graduation. (unknown)
  • [last lines]
    Paul Finch: Oh, Stifler's Mom! (unknown)
  • Paul Finch: Stifler's Mom...
    Stifler's Mom: You've got to know I'm over you, Finchy.
    Paul Finch: Well, as they say, we'll always have Paris.
    Stifler's Mom: And the pool table.
    Paul Finch: And the car.
    Stifler's Mom: And the two-room suite I have upstairs...
    Paul Finch: Oh, man. Let's go! (unknown)
  • Michelle: How did a little perv like you, turn into such a great guy?
    Jim: How did a little nympho like you, turn into such a great girl?
    Michelle: I'm still a nympho.
    Jim: Well, I'm still a perv. (unknown)
  • [repeated line]
    Steve Stifler: Fuckin' right, doggie! (unknown)
  • Steve Stifler: Dick. 'Fucking hate not hating you.
    Paul Finch: I did fuck your mom.
    [smiling]
    Paul Finch: Twice...
    Steve Stifler: Hoo... That's better fucker. (unknown)
  • Paul Finch: But, as they say, "We'll always have Paris."
    Stifler's Mom: And the pool table.
    Paul Finch: And the car.
    Stifler's Mom: And the two-room suite I have upstairs.
    Paul Finch: Come on you.
    [pulling her to the staircase] (unknown)
  • Steve Stifler: Hey, Finch, what's the capital of Thailand?
    [Hits Finch in the groin]
    Steve Stifler: Bang-cock. (unknown)
  • [At the wedding]
    Paul Finch: Grandmotherfucker.
    Steve Stifler: Motherfucker.
    Paul Finch: [smiling] Yes, I am. (unknown)
  • Michelle: Love isn't just a feeling. It's shaving your balls. (unknown)
  • Jim's Dad: Son, step away from the animal... (unknown)
  • Steve Stifler: If you'll excuse me, I have some shit to attend to. (unknown)
  • Michelle: So Finch, what will you do with your fancy NYU diploma?
    Paul Finch: I'll frame it. Then I'll write my memoirs. (unknown)
  • [Kevin and Finch are looking for Jim's grandmother]
    Kevin Myers: Guys, what are you doing here?
    John: The old bitch sucked, so we ditched her. (unknown)
  • [after Stifler has sex with Jim's grandmother]
    Kevin Myers: You're a hero.
    Steve Stifler: Pussy is pussy. (unknown)
  • Kevin Myers: [raising a glass to toast] Gentlemen, to the next step...
    Jim: Oh will you stop with that "next step" bullshit.
    Paul Finch: Put down your glass. (unknown)
  • Michelle: Wow, Steve Stifler just gave a rose to a girl and meant it. It's like, monkeys learning to use tools for the first time. (unknown)
  • Stifler: My dick looks like a corn dog and I've got cake all over my balls. (unknown)
  • Steve Stifler: Happy "Fuck Day", Ass Mouth. (unknown)
  • [to Stifler, after he has been 'caught with his pants down']
    Grandma: Focus. (unknown)
    • Movie: American Wedding [2003] | [2] | [3]
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