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Quotes of Movie: Ali G Indahouse [2002]
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Jezzy, iz you wearing green? I knew it - you iz defected to the Iver 'Eath posse, innit? Come on - let's stab him! Jezzy F: No, no - wait! Me mum, yeah, she put me yellow top in the wash with me brother's blue football socks even though they ain't colourfast. Ali G: All right. But you tell that slag, that in the ghetto, washing non-colourfast synthetics at 60 degrees could cost you your life... Tell me, Ali, do you have a job? Ali G: Unfortunately, I iz recently gone on the dole... David Carlton: Really? When? Ali G: Eight years and three months ago. David Carlton: Says here you claim disability benefit, are you...? Ali G: Yes, I iz actually spasticated. I iz got a terrible DJ'ing injury - I still ain't got full mobility in me main mixing finger... [starts to air-mix, winces, feigns pain, and stops. Notices Carlton's fit secretary looking at him, so he points to his crotch] Ali G: Everything down there's still working, though! Oh, yes... Swan, is there any reason why there should be an absurdly dressed, half-naked man chained to a fence, being tossed off by an old blind council worker? BELONG? That's a very sexist way to talk about these bitches! | |
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You wanna know 'ow I make diz country bettah? Iz simple, two words: keep it real! Cabinet M.P.: That's three words! Ali G: Don't be a spannah, it ain't a real word. It's short for innit, innit? R.E.S.T.E.C.P! Do ya even know wha it spellz? Cabinet M.P.: Restecp? Ali G: Yes, Restecp. 'Owz anyone out there meant to restecp each otha? If you lot in 'ere, don't even start restecpa-ing one another. If you iz watching dis in da UK, you may remember me from da telly. If you iz in Belgium... you iz living in a shit hole. He iz a criminal! And not even da good type wot deals drugs and does drive bys. And I put it to YOU... that you sucked off a 'orse. Dat's no prozzie, dat's me ho! A man more eviler than Skeletor. Crack cocaine iz destroyin' our community, so when a bruva makes it through, he deserves our respect. So, let's big it up for me main man Darren, who has been off da crack now for eight years! Darren: Eight years and three quarters. Ali G: Whateva! Sorry I iz late, bu dere was a documentry on about monkeys. Me Julie, will you make me the happiest guy in the world? Me Julie: Yes, Ali. Yes I will. Ali G: Good. Let me shag her, then! Gentlemen, I want you all to know that the minister was very hard, but also very straight. Ali G: Soon you will big-up to Tyrone's level. Tyrone, if you keeps getting any better, we're gonna have to do your pubes, aiii. Cub scout: I don't have any. Ali G: Well I'ze got millions. As from 12 o'clock all rizla's will be free. To discourage their use, there will be a 25p-per-pound levy on panties. This will exclude thongs. Marijuana will be available on the NHS to treat chronic diseases such as ichy scrot. Furthermore I am a bell end... Ali G: HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA! David Carlton: Prime minister, I really can't be expected to... Prime Minister: Go on now, David! David Carlton: [Looking annoyed] I like to take it up the batty. It is me favourite. I used to be a girl and wear knicks, honest. Ask me mum! I'm not Ali A, not Ali B, Ali C, Ali D, Ali E, Ali F... but... Ali G! We is gunna hire the A-team. Talk to the hand, 'cos the face ain't listening. Jezzy, iz you wearing green? I knew it - you iz defected to the Iver 'Eath posse, innit? Come on - let's stab him! Jezzy F: No, no - wait! Me mum, yeah, she put me yellow top in the wash with me brother's blue football socks even though they ain't colourfast. Ali G: All right. But you tell that slag, that in the ghetto, washing non-colourfast synthetics at 60 degrees could cost you your life... Tell me, Ali, do you have a job? Ali G: Unfortunately, I iz recently gone on the dole... David Carlton: Really? When? Ali G: Eight years and three months ago. David Carlton: Says here you claim disability benefit, are you...? Ali G: Yes, I iz actually spasticated. I iz got a terrible DJ'ing injury - I still ain't got full mobility in me main mixing finger... [starts to air-mix, winces, feigns pain, and stops. Notices Carlton's fit secretary looking at him, so he points to his crotch] Ali G: Everything down there's still working, though! Oh, yes... Swan, is there any reason why there should be an absurdly dressed, half-naked man chained to a fence, being tossed off by an old blind council worker? BELONG? That's a very sexist way to talk about these bitches! You wanna know 'ow I make diz country bettah? Iz simple, two words: keep it real! Cabinet M.P.: That's three words! Ali G: Don't be a spannah, it ain't a real word. It's short for innit, innit? | |
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