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Quotes of Movie: Alferd Packer: The Musical [1996]
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Alferd Packer: Come on, we can just walk around it. It can't be that big. The sky is blue and all the leaves are green. My heart's as warm as a baked potato. I think I know precisely what I mean, when I say it's a *Shpadoinkle* day! And then I ran and ran as fast as I could. Polly Pry: But you made it out, right? Alferd Packer: Yeah, I hid in Wyoming for a while. I should have let them kill me. Polly Pry: Why? Alferd Packer: You ever been to Wyoming. [we cut and see Alferd in a deserted field] Alferd Packer: Uh, hello? Polly Pry: Oh my God! It sounds horrible! [seeing their dinner] You son of a bitch Humphrey. James Humphrey: Come on, you haven't even tried it. [Miller takes a mouthful] Frank Miller: You son of a bitch Humphrey. | |
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Alferd Packer: Your eyes, your smile, made my little life worthwhile. The sky was a lot more blue when I was on top of you. Hey! You're cutting into his butt! Frank Miller: Well what sort of meat do you want? James Humphrey: Well not butt! I know there's more to life then women. I just can't figure out what else there is. I don't need it every night, every morning'd be just fine. A little sex, that's all I'm asking for. ...But that's not the way it happened... If you don't find a nice girl in Colorado, just remember, there's plenty of mountain sheep. George Noon: How big of mountain sheep? Fudge, Packer? George Noon: Oh, stop! James Humphrey: That's sick! Frenchy Cabazon: I agree! Nutter was singing in the wrong key! Preston Nutter: No I wasn't! It was Loutzenheiser! I was singing in E flat minor. Frenchy Cabazon: The SONG'S in F sharp major! Shannon Bell: I think they're the same thing. I mean, E flat is the relative major of F sharp. Frenchy Cabazon: No it isn't! The relative minor is three half-tones DOWN from the major, not up! George Noon: No, it's three down. Like A is the relative minor of C major. O.D. Loutzenheiser: But isn't A sharp in C major? Shannon Bell: Wait, are you singing mixolydian scales or something? Frenchy Cabazon: A sharp is tonic to C major! It's the sixth! James Humphrey: No it isn't! Israel Swan: Well, it would be like a raised 13th if anything. A horse is a horse. James Humphrey: Of course. Alferd Packer: Of course. What part do we eat? James Humphrey: Well, you're the butcher. Frank Miller: Yeah, but... James Humphrey: So, butch! can't think, can't move can't speak in complete sentences. Israel Swan: Maybe we'll all get really sick. And maybe we'll all die... Sooooooooooooo, let's build a snowman Alferd Packer: She didn't just take off. We're friends, and friends don't just take off. James Humphrey: 'Are there any more big rivers between here and Breckenridge?' 'Oh no, just the Colorado!' THE BIGGEST FUCKING RIVER I'VE SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE, THANK YOU VERY MUCH! Alferd Packer: Okay, what are you guys doing? George Noon: He's dead! James Humphrey: Well no kidding he's dead. His brains are lying in the snow. Alferd Packer: No, to eat. George Noon: I know, I gotta take a piss! God you guys make me sick. What is this, a fucking feel good convention? Shannon Bell: Listen, we have a long journey ahead of us. Its important we all get along. Now, you're hurting people's feelings. Your gunna have to find a more constructive way to express your anger. Frank Miller: Okay. Well, fuck you! How's that for constructive? Shannon Bell: That's great, now go to time out Mister. I can catch a helpless animal, skin it with my bare hands. I wake up muddy, and I go to bed bloody, 'cause I'm a trappin' man. I can brave the nastiest weather. Trappers: Weather! French: Even if it's 80 below. Trappers: Below! French: My pa was an elephant, but that's irrelevant. My ma was an Eskimo. I eat rabbits' heads for breakfast. Trappers: Breakfast! French: With beaver butt on the side. Trappers: The side! French: My mind's magnificent and my body no different. I'm full of trapper pride! Yo-ho! Trappers: Yo-ho! Yo-ho! French: Rip their fur, cut their skin with my knife. Yo-ho! Trappers: Yo-ho! Yo-ho! French: One thing's for sure, there's nothing like a trappin' life! I'm badder than the baddest sailor! Trappers: Sailor! French: I make love to women to 10 feet tall. Trappers: Good lord! French: I've got a chest of wonder and balls of thunder. I can break right through a wall. I love the sound of metal, Trappers: Metal! French: Snapping on an animal's head. Trappers: Ka-chink! French: Sometimes they scamper, sometimes they whimper, but they always end up dead. Nutter: I've always wanted to be somebody who didn't get pushed around. Now that I'm a trapper, I'm the meanest guy around. Frenchy: Second meanest! The blood of a fresh-cut rodent is as sweet as brandy wine. And the brain of an antelope tastes like cantaloupe. What a yummy life! Yo-ho! Trappers: Yo-ho! Yo-ho! Frenchy: Rip their fur, cut their eyes out with my knife. Yo-ho! Trappers: Yo-ho! Yo-ho! George Noon: I may look tough and mean-spirited but I'm really a sensitive artist. Indian Girl: That's very interesting. George Noon: I paint, and I sculpt with my hands. Indian Girl: That's very interesting too. George Noon: You have no idea what I'm saying, do you? Indian Girl: That's very interesting. [talks in Japanese] James Humphrey: He said... Indian Chief: Who are you assholes? James Humphrey: Oh, he speaks English. We are from Utah. Indian Chief: Utah? [Bell holds out the Mormon Bible] Indian Chief: Ah, Utah. | |
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