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Quotes of Movie: Addams Family Values [1993]
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[meeting Gomez] Isn't he a lady killer! Gomez: Acquitted. Is that your bathing suit? Wednesday: Is that your overbite? Gary: Now, one of you will be the drowning victim and the one gets to be our lifesaver. Amanda: I'll be the victim! Wednesday: All your life. You have enslaved him. You have placed Fester under some strange sexual spell. I respect that. But please, may we see him? I don't wanna be in the pageant. Gary: Don't you wanna help me realize my vision? Wednesday: Your work is puerile and under-dramatized. You lack any sense of structure, character, or the Aristotelian unities. Gary: Young lady, I am getting just a tad tired of your attitude problem. | |
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I'm not perky. Amanda: That's for damn sure. These Addams men, where do you find them? Morticia: It has to be damp. We don't hug. Becky: Oh, you're just shy. Pugsley: We're not shy. Wednesday: We're contagious. Why are you dressed like that? Wednesday: Like what? Amanda: Like you're going to a funeral. Why are you dressed like somebody died? Wednesday: Wait. Gomez: He has my father's eyes. Morticia: Gomez, take those out of his mouth. Children, why do you hate the baby? Pugsley: We don't hate him. We just wanna play with him. Wednesday: Especially his head. [to Fester] You'll meet someone. Someone very special. Someone who won't press charges. I don't wanna hurt anybody. I don't enjoy hurting anybody. I don't like guns, or bombs, or electric chairs. But sometimes people just won't listen. And so I have to use persuasion - and slides. [Showing slide pictures] Debbie Jellinsky: My parents, Sharon and Dave. Generous, doting, or were they? All I ever wanted was a Ballerina Barbie. In her pretty pink tutu. My Birthday. I was 10, and do you know what they got me? *Malibu* Barbie. Morticia: Malibu Barbie. Gomez: The nightmare. Morticia: The nerve. Debbie Jellinsky: That's not what I wanted! That's not who I was. I was a Ballerina, graceful, delicate! They had to go. [the next slide shot shows a burning house] Would you die for me? Uncle Fester: Yes. Debbie Jellinsky: Promise? Wednesday: Wait! Amanda: What? Wednesday: We cannot break bread with you. Amanda: Huh? Becky, what's going on? Becky: [whispered] Wednesday! Wednesday: You have taken the land which is rightfully ours. Years from now my people will be forced to live in mobile homes on reservations. Your people will wear cardigans, and drink highballs. We will sell our bracelets by the road sides, you will play golf, and enjoy hot hors d'oeuvres. My people will have pain and degradation. Your people will have stick shifts. The gods of my tribe have spoken. They have said, "Do not trust the Pilgrims, especially Sarah Miller." Amanda: Gary, she's changing the words. Wednesday: And for all these reasons I have decided to scalp you and burn your village to the ground. Would you like anesthesia? Morticia: No, thank you. But do ask the children. Gomez: That poor girl. Lurch, was she in there before you baked? [Lurch hangs his head] I'm just like any modern woman trying to have it all. Loving husband, a family. It's just, I wish I had more time to seek out the dark forces and join their hellish crusade. You sent us to camp. They made us sing. I'll get you - and your little hand, too! Dementia, what a beautiful name. Dementia: It means "insanity." Uncle Fester: My name is Fester. It means "to rot." Do you know what happens if my mother uses a fabric softener? Wednesday: What? Joel: I die. [first nanny] Children, as your new nanny, I know we're all concerned about the environment. So, this morning, let's discuss how to prevent forest fires. Wednesday: Prevent them? [lights a match] Mrs. Montgomery: [second nanny] Alright children, I've had it up to here. Now you just answer one simple question. Where is that baby? Wednesday: Which part? Polly/Nanny: [third nanny; holding up a puppet] Hello kiddies, I'm Polly the Puppet. What shall we do today? I know! Let's all clean our rooms! Wednesday: [holding up devil puppet] Hello Polly, I'll clean my room. In exchange for your immortal soul. Fresh air. The scent of pine. Morticia: Wednesday, look at all of the other children, their freckles, their bright little eyes, their eager, friendly smiles. Help them. So... you still desire me after all these years? The old ball and chain? Gomez: Forever! Morticia: I'll get them! I just can't tell, does he like me at all? Morticia: Of course he does. He vomited. Debbie Jellinsky: That's true. Does he always do that with women he likes? Morticia: Oh, no. Just you. | |
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