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Quotes of Movie: Action Jackson [1988]

  • Peter Dellaplane:
    Murder is a tool!

  • Officer Kornblau:
    So what's your name?



    Albert:
    A-Albert. A-Albert Smith.



    Officer Lack:
    Albert, your mother and father weren't by any chance brother and sister, were they?



    Albert:
    Hey man, what's gon' happen to me?



    Officer Kornblau:
    Oh, nothing. Uh, wel-nothing much, uh... you might have to endure a little session with, uh, Action Jackson.



    Albert:
    Wh-who's Axon...?



    Officer Lack:
    *Action*, Albert. *Action Jackson*.



    Officer Kornblau:
    Yeah, some say he didn't even have a mother. That some researchers at NASA created him to be the first man to walk on the moon without a space suit.



    Officer Lack:
    Mm-hmm.



    Officer Kornblau:
    Others say his mother was molested by Bigfoot and, uh, Jackson is their mutant offspring.



    Officer Lack:
    They bring in Jackson when they want to re-educate some young ne'er-do-well such as yourself, Albert.



    Officer Kornblau:
    Yeah, I remember one kid got re-educated so bad, his testicles climbed back up into his belly. Wouldn't come out.



    Officer Lack:
    They called it a medical miracle.



    Officer Kornblau:
    Yeah. Another kid, handcuffed to a chair; gnawed his own hand off like a trapped skunk, or wolverine, or somethin'.

  • Officer Kornblau:
    It was a regular fuck-o-rama at my place last night.



    Officer Lack:
    Can the shit, Kornblau. There ain't been any pussy at your pad since your mother helped you move in. They oughta call your place the House of Wax.

  • [turning a flamethrower on a bad guy]



    Action Jackson:
    How do you like your ribs?

  • Peter Dellaplane:
    You have this nickname - what is it, excitement, enthusiasm, esprit de corps-



    Action Jackson:
    [cutting off Dellaplane] -It's ACTION!

  • Officer Lack:
    Have you ever had your head forcibly rammed up your ass?



    Officer Kornblau:
    uh, no



    Officer Lack:
    Well mark your calendar...that day's coming!

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