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Quotes of Movie: A Mighty Wind [2003]
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I worked some bills with a few Folkies, you know - "Put 'em in a cell with a long hose on him, put 'em in a cell with a long hose on him!" I used to say "If he's got a long enough hose, he's gonna have a lot of friends in the shower room." Folk audiences hated that joke. Mark Shubb: We're going to have to put saddles on those folks! [the map is packed on top of the car on the way into New York] So you were planning on studying it later, academically or something? [about the folk singers with the deputy mayor] Hey, where's the real mayor, wha' happened? Somebody shot the mayor, but they did not shoot the deputy. | |
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There was abuse in my family, but it was mostly musical in nature. [Leonard shows Mitch his model trains] This whole area here is called Crabbe Town. We've got a brothel down there above the saloon. And right down there further along I'm thinking of building a French Quarter. I've actually got a bit of French blood. Mitch Cohen: I would love to see this town in the autumn. I think Crabbeville in autumn would look quite magnificent. I would have made tiny little leaves, oak, poplar, maple, chestnut, and spread them across the town of Crabbeville. Magnificent. Leonard Crabbe: It's Crabbe Town, not Crabbeville. In 1971, after the breakup of the Main Street Singers, Chuck Wiseman moved up to San Francisco where she started a retail business with his brothers Howard and Dell, the Three Wisemen's Sex Emporium. It was very successful for a year until they were sued over something having to do with a box of ben wah balls. [while eating dinner] What is it you do, Leonard? For work? Leonard Crabbe: Oh, for work. I'm in the bladder management industry. I sell catheters. I have my own distribution company, Sure Flo Medical Appliances. You may have heard of it. It's actually named in tribute after my mother, her name was Florence. It's a growth industry, really, because one in three people over 60 either have a flaccid or a spastic bladder, so in a sense, every 13.5 seconds a new incontinent is born, as it were. People like you and I have what they call "leakage problems." They can be running, playing tennis, laughing, sneezing, anything. I mean, the good old constipation, you know. You have impacted fecal mass in your rectum, you find that pushing on your bladder... Mickey Crabbe: You know, this might make good dessert talk. Thank God for the model trains, you know? If they didn't have the model trains they wouldn't have gotten the idea for the big trains. I'm a model train enthusiast. Amber Cole: Oh! That's great! [chuckles] Leonard Crabbe: Yes... sort of a whole layout in my basement. Very much a big passion for me, 'tis. Amber Cole: Yeah. Thank God for model trains. Leonard Crabbe: Oh, absolutely. Amber Cole: You know, if they didn't have the model train, they wouldn't have gotten the idea for the big trains. [referring to his mother] You could say she was overly protective - I just like to think she cared about me, which she did, a lot. And I was a member of the chess team and whenever we would have chess tournaments I had to wear a protective helmet, I had to wear a football helmet. Now who knows what she was thinking? Maybe she thought that we might have fallen maybe and impaled our heads on a pointy bishop or something, I don't know. And they had no hole in the center of the record. Mark Shubb: It would teeter crazily on the little spindle. Jerry Palter: No, you had to provide it yourself. They were still good records. Good product. Mark Shubb: If you punched a hole in them, you'd have a good time. To do then now would be retro. To do then then was very now-tro, if you will. All right, here's your giant banjo... Jonathan Steinbloom: Um-hmm. It's very flat. Lawrence E. Turpin: Well, it doesn't look flat from in the audience. Jonathan Steinbloom: It has basically, no dimension to it. Lawrence E. Turpin: Well, it's painted to look three dimensional. If you go back there, trust me... Jonathan Steinbloom: But it's not painted on the back. I'm looking at the back right now. Will you look with me for a minute? Lawrence E. Turpin: Why would it be... From the audience it's gonna look perfectly fine. And it looks three dimensional. Just go out there and take a peek. Jonathan Steinbloom: Well, is this the real furniture or is this the rehearsal furniture? Lawrence E. Turpin: Well, A it's not called furniture. It's a set. Jonathan Steinbloom: Uh-huhh... Lawrence E. Turpin: And it's painted this way. It looks completely three dimensional from the audience, if you just go out that way, Mr. Steinbloom. Jonathan Steinbloom: So this is the real furniture, and this is... Is this an actual street lamp? Lawrence E. Turpin: I'm sure it was at one time. Jonathan Steinbloom: Can you have an actual three dimensional object that represents the thing that it actually is, can that be next to something that it's pretending to be? Would that be okay? Lawrence E. Turpin: Yes, it's perfectly fine. You know, I really don't have time to explain Stagecraft 101. This show starts in an hour. Now, every... everything is exactly the way you... Jonathan Steinbloom: And what are tho... what's tha... that... Those are lights hanging up there? Lawrence E. Turpin: Yes, those are lights... Jonathan Steinbloom: Could they fall? Lawrence E. Turpin: ...and that's a ceiling above us! Jonathan Steinbloom: But they look shaky. Lawrence E. Turpin: No, they're not shaky, they're perfectly... Jonathan Steinbloom: Is that wire? I see a wire. I see a... [Lawrence smacks him on the head] Jonathan Steinbloom: Oww! We don't want people to reach for their remotes here. Mark Shubb: It's public television. Alan Barrows: They don't have remotes. Seeing these long lines of fans who want nothing more than to have you sign an autograph, it's like it's 1968... Or '67... Or '66. We are Winc. W-I-N-C. Witches In Nature's Colors. [In the meeting with Jonathan Steinbloom] The naches that I'm feeling right now... 'cause your dad was like mishpoche to me. When I heard I got these ticket to the Folksmen, I let out a geshreeyeh, and I'm running with my friend... running around like a vilde chaye, right into the theater, in the front row! So we've got the schpilkes, 'cause we're sittin' right there... and it's a mitzvah, what your dad did, and I want to try to give that back to you. Okeinhoreh, I say, and God bless him. [Hosting "An Ode To Irving"] And now please join me in welcoming our next three talented performers. Taken alone, they are Jerry Palter, Alan Barrows and Mark Shubb... but when you put them all together, they spell "absolutely fantastic". You know, 35 years ago, preparing for a concert meant playing "find the cobra" with the hotel chambermaid. I feel ready for whatever the experience is that we will... take with us after the show. I'm sure it will be... an adventure... a voyage on this... magnificent vessel... into unchartered waters! What if we see sailfish... jumping... and flying across the magnificent orb of a setting sun? To paraphrase an old joke... Knock, knock. Who's there? It's the New Main Street Singers! We go out there, we do the song we're known for, we get it out of the way and then, 'hey, here's the icing on the cake.' Alan Barrows: What's the icing? Jerry Palter: Well the icing is the rest of the act. Mark Shubb: That's the cake. Jerry Palter: No, that's the dressing. I got a weal wed wagon! I learned to play the ukulele in one of my last films, "Not-So-Tiny Tim". | |
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