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Quotes of Movie: A League of Their Own [1992]

  • [Ernie sees Dottie and Kit vigorously milking cows]
    Ernie Capadino: Ow. Doesn't that hurt them?
    Dottie Hinson: Doesn't seem to.
    Ernie Capadino: Well, it would bruise the hell out of me.
    Dottie Hinson: Can I help you with something?
    Ernie Capadino: I'm Ernie Capadino. I'm a baseball scout. I saw you playing today. Not bad, not bad. You ever heard of Walter Harvey, makes Harvey bars - you know, the candy?
    Dottie Hinson: Yeah. We feed them to the cows when they're constipated.
    Ernie Capadino: That's the guy. He's starting a girls' baseball league, so he can make a buck while the boys are overseas. Wanna play?
    Dottie Hinson: Huh?
    Ernie Capadino: Nice retort. Tryouts are in Chicago. It's a real league, professional.
    Kit Keller: Professional - baseball?
    Ernie Capadino: Mmm-hmm. They'll pay you 75 dollars a week.
    Kit Keller: We only make 30 at the dairy.
    Ernie Capadino: Well then, this would be more, wouldn't it? (unknown)
  • [after Mae dives into a base safely]
    Stadium announcer: No wonder they call her "All the Way" Mae. (unknown)
  • [Bob returns from the war]
    Dottie Hinson: Can we just hold each other for the rest of our lives?
    Bob Hinson: That's my plan. (unknown)
  • Mae Mordabito: [to reporters] Hi, my name's Mae, and that's more than a name, that's an attitude. (unknown)
  • Kid: What's your rush, dollbody? What do you say we slip in the back seat, and make a man out of me?
    Dottie Hinson: What do you say I smack you around for a while?
    Kid: Can't we do both? (unknown)
  • Announcer: Well, bite my butt and call me an apple. (unknown)
  • Umpire: Perhaps you chastised her too vehemently. Good rule of thumb: treat each of these girls as you would treat your mother.
    Jimmy Dugan: Did anyone ever tell you, you look like a penis with that little hat on? (unknown)
  • Helen Haley: Has anybody seen my new red hat?
    Dottie Hinson: Oh piss on your hat.
    Helen Haley: That was uncalled for. (unknown)
  • Western Union man: Excuse Me! Excuse Me! I have a telegram here from the war department. Man, I hate these. The least they could do is send someone in person to tell you your husband is dead. I just had the name here. Now I have to go back...
    Jimmy Dugan: Give it to me!
    Western Union man: I can't. This is Official
    Jimmy Dugan: Give me the telegram
    Western Union man: [Jimmy pushes the Western Union man out of the dressing room door] You can't do this. I'm coming back...
    [Jimmy reads the telegram and begins walking down the line of players]
    Jimmy Dugan: [the camera drops on Betty] I'm sorry Betty.
    Betty 'Betty Spaghetti' Horn: [Crying hysterically] No! George! (unknown)
  • Older Stilwell: Hi Dottie. Remember me? You're gonna lose!
    Older Dottie: Stilwell angel? Oh it's good to see you again. Where's your mom?
    Older Stilwell: Mom died... a few years ago. When I heard about this, I... I felt I owed it to her to be here. She always said it was the best time of her life.
    Older Dottie: Oh I'm so sorry to hear that. She was a great woman and a damn fine baseball player. (unknown)
  • Ernie Capadino: [to a salesman] You know, if I had your job, I'd kill myself. (unknown)
  • Ernie Capadino: Yeah, I'm just going home, grab a shower and shave, give the wife a little pickle-tickle, and I'm on my way. (unknown)
  • Walter Harvey: You kind of let me down on that San Antonio job.
    Jimmy Dugan: I, uh, yeh, I, uh... I freely admit, sir, I had no right to... sell off the team's equipment like that; that won't happen again.
    Walter Harvey: Let me be blunt. Are you still a fall-down drunk?
    Jimmy Dugan: Well, that is blunt. Ahem. No sir, I've, uh, quit drinking.
    Walter Harvey: You've seen the error of your ways.
    Jimmy Dugan: No, I just can't afford it.
    [giggles]
    Walter Harvey: It's funny to you. Your drinking is funny. You're a young man, Jimmy: you still could be playing, if you just would've laid off the booze.
    Jimmy Dugan: Well, it's not exactly like that... I hurt my knee.
    Walter Harvey: You fell out of a hotel. That's how you hurt it.
    Jimmy Dugan: Well, there was a fire.
    Walter Harvey: Which you started, which I had to pay for.
    Jimmy Dugan: Well, now, I was going to send you a thank-you card, Mr. Harvey, but I wasn't allowed anything sharp to write with. (unknown)
  • Lady on Train: Sir your knee?
    Ernie Capadino: Like It? (unknown)
  • Dottie Hinson: Lay off the high ones!
    Kit Keller: I like the high ones!
    Dottie Hinson: Mule!
    Kit Keller: Nag! (unknown)
  • Kit Keller: You ever hear Dad introduce us to people? "This is our daughter Dottie, and this is our other daughter, Dottie's sister." Should've just had you and bought a dog! (unknown)
  • Ernie Capadino: Are you coming? See, how it works is, the train moves, not the station. (unknown)
  • Doris Murphy: Hey Mae, Mae, your date's here.
    Mae Mordabito: How do I look?
    Doris Murphy: Where'd you get that dress?
    Mae Mordabito: Borrowed it.
    Doris Murphy: It don't fit you, Mae, it's too tight.
    Mae Mordabito: I don't plan on wearing it that long.
    Doris Murphy: Ohh. I don't know why you get dressed at all. (unknown)
  • Older Doris: [Doris sees Dottie watching the former team playing after 40s years] Mae! Come here! Is that her?
    Older Mae: I don't know, is it?
    Older Doris: Dottie?
    Older Doris, Older Mae: [Doris throw a fast ball and Dottie catches it like their first day in tryouts] It's her!
    Older Dottie: [smiling in recognition] Hey Doris (unknown)
  • Jimmy Dugan: Evelyn, could you come here for a second? Which team do you play for?
    Evelyn Gardner: Well, I'm a Peach.
    Jimmy Dugan: Well I was just wonderin' why you would throw home when we got a two-run lead. You let the tying run get on second base and we lost the lead because of you. Start using your head. That's the lump that's three feet above your ass.
    [Evelyn starts to cry]
    Jimmy Dugan: Are you crying? Are you crying? ARE YOU CRYING? There's no crying! THERE'S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL!
    Doris Murphy: Why don't you give her a break, Jimmy...
    Jimmy Dugan: Oh, you zip it, Doris! Rogers Hornsby was my manager, and he called me a talking pile of pigshit. And that was when my parents drove all the way down from Michigan to see me play the game. And did I cry?
    Evelyn Gardner: No, no, no.
    Jimmy Dugan: Yeah! NO. And do you know why?
    Evelyn Gardner: No...
    Jimmy Dugan: Because there's no crying in baseball. THERE'S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL! No crying! (unknown)
  • Jimmy Dugan: [muttering] I'm a goddamn Peach! (unknown)
  • Jimmy Dugan: All right, everyone, let's listen up now, listen up. Hey! I don't know what that kid is doing, but get him away from the tape! Stilwell Something important has just happened. I was in the toilet reading my contract, and it turns out, I get a bonus when we get to the World Series. So, let's play hard, let's play smart, use your heads.
    Doris Murphy: [quoting him] That's that lump three feet above our ass, right, Jimmy?
    [laughter]
    Jimmy Dugan: Some more prominent than others, there, Doris. (unknown)
  • Jimmy Dugan: Taking a little day trip?
    Dottie Hinson: No, Bob and I are driving home. To Oregon.
    Jimmy Dugan: [long pause] You know, I really thought you were a ballplayer.
    Dottie Hinson: Well, you were wrong.
    Jimmy Dugan: Was I?
    Dottie Hinson: Yeah. It is only a game, Jimmy. It's only a game, and, and, I don't need this. I have Bob; I don't need this. At all.
    Jimmy Dugan: I, I gave away five years at the end my career to drink. Five years. And now there isn't anything I wouldn't give to get back any one day of it.
    Dottie Hinson: Well, we're different.
    Jimmy Dugan: Shit, Dottie, if you want to go back to Oregon and make a hundred babies, great, I'm in no position to tell anyone how to live. But sneaking out like this, quitting, you'll regret it for the rest of your life. Baseball is what gets inside you. It's what lights you up, you can't deny that.
    Dottie Hinson: It just got too hard.
    Jimmy Dugan: It's supposed to be hard. If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. The hard... is what makes it great. (unknown)
  • Ernie Capadino: Hey cowgirls, see the grass? Don't eat it. (unknown)
  • [During the league's publicity drive]
    Mae Mordabito: What if at a key moment in the game my, my uniform bursts open and, uh, oops., my bosoms come flying out? That, that might draw a crowd, right?
    Doris Murphy: You think there are men in this country who ain't seen your bosoms? (unknown)
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