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Quotes of Movie: A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Fo

  • Hero:
    People do not go around freeing slaves every day.



    Pseudolus:
    Be the first. Start a fashion.

  • Lycus:
    If I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times; do not fan the girls when they're wet! But you'll never learn, you'll be a eunuch all your life.

  • Domina's Mother:
    Gone to see a nose-grinder, indeed. He's cavorting with those courtesans.



    Domina:
    But Mother, what can I do?



    Domina's Mother:
    Return to Rome immediately, before he can do what no doubt he's already done. Go!


    [whips Dominia]

  • Domina:
    A common flesh-peddler in the house next to ours, disgusting!



    Senex:
    Disgraceful, all that revolting flesh. Just next door...

  • Domina:
    That breeder woman, has she been thrown a mate yet?



    Hysterium:
    Alas, she refuses just any slave. She demands to choose.



    Senex:
    Choose? She'll breed and like it, like everyone. Well, almost everyone.

  • Hysterium:
    I live to grovel.

  • Hysterium:
    Rather than let you down, I would die.



    Domina:
    That is what I had in mind.

  • Pseudolus:
    An honest virgin! What a terrible combination!

  • Senex:
    A word of advice: never fall in love during a total eclipse.

  • Pseudolus:
    I shall return in a nonce. At most, two nonces.

  • Hysterium:
    My father is rolling over in his grave.



    Pseudolus:
    Your father is alive.



    Hysterium:
    This will kill him.

  • Erronius:
    My daughter, a eunuch?

  • Hero:
    Hysterium, this is Philia.



    Hysterium:
    Never mind who she is! Who IS she?

  • Lycus:
    Is it contagious?



    Pseudolus:
    Have you ever seen a plague that wasn't?

  • Miles Gloriosus:
    Arrange food, drink, entertainment, and a sit-down orgy for forteen.

  • Miles Gloriosus:
    Oh, her bridal bower becomes a burial bier of bitter bereavement!



    Pseudolus:
    Very good! Can you say "Titus the tailor told ten tall tales to Titania the titmouse"?

  • Miles Gloriosus:
    What is she like?



    Pseudolus:
    A face so fair, a heart so pure - Sir, if you had been born a woman, you would have been she!



    Miles Gloriosus:
    As magnificent as that?

  • Miles Gloriosus:
    You, slave, will be torn apart by horses, to the plaudits of the troops and the amusement of the children.

  • Philia:
    That's the brute who raped my country, Thrace!



    Pseudolus:
    He raped Thrace?



    Philia:
    And then he came and did it again! And then again!



    Pseudolus:
    He raped Thrace thrice?

  • Pseudolus:
    We'll need a body. Anybody's body.



    Hysterium:
    Can you get one from Gusto the Body Snatcher?



    Pseudolus:
    He owes me a favor! But he died yesterday.



    Hysterium:
    Uh - what about HIS body?



    Pseudolus:
    Somebody snatched it. Uh, let's see... who do we know that's dead?

  • Domina:
    Forgive me for ever having mistrusted you, my darling. But you HAVE been a little distant these past 29 years.

  • [Examining a wine bottle]



    Pseudolus:
    Was 1 a good year?

  • Roman Sentry:
    It's against Roman law to take one's life. Penalty's death.

  • Pseudolus:
    You must never know what goes on in that house.



    Hero:
    But I do know.



    Pseudolus:
    You do? Isn't it amazing.

  • Pseudolus:
    Wait!



    Hero:
    Yes?



    Pseudolus:
    A brilliant idea!



    Hero:
    Yes!



    Pseudolus:
    That's what we need, a brilliant idea.

    • Movie: A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Fo
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