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Quotes of Movie: "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" [1998]
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Colin Mochrie: I need a hammer. Ryan Stiles: I knew he needed a hammer. He also needed a couple of nails and a good screw. Colin Mochrie: The other day I stole something, it really was a sin / It was a little revolver made of gelatin / It was a really bad idea, something I should have slept on/ 'Cause I was arrested for carrying a congealed weapon. [to Colin Mochrie] Watch the Drew Carey Show Wednesdays at 9. Wait... there's more. Give the tall guy more lines. In a world full of poop, there's just one prooper. I'm Greg Proops, the pooper scooper. | |
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There's nothing like butt toast and head eggs. Now over to our weatherman, Dwayne TheBathtub. Wayne Brady: I love the Village People, now please don't get me wrong / I love YMCA, hey girl, that's my song / But you see in San Francisco is where they belong / And all them Village People inspired me to wear my thong. I love the Village People, they give me confidence / Even though I'm not too bright, I am rather dense / I have a fat, white body, and I don't have a tan / But when I put on leather pants, I am a Macho Man. About the Village People I have a lot of facts. / Did you know they made a movie? Yes, they act. / It really is quite wonderful, I can't believe my eyes, / If you laid them end to end, I wouldn't be surprised. I don't like the Village People, think they're kinda rude. / Don't you know their lyrics can be kinda crude. / When it's on my stereo I always hit the mute, / But I'll have to admit, the Indian's kind of cute. Colin Mochrie: I let him think for a while 'cause I knew he had the answer. I knew it was a good answer, and he was going to tell it to me. 'Cause when you ask a question, you expect an answer. That's the way it works... question, answer, answer, question. If he gave the answer, I'd have to come up with the question. That would be Jeopardy. That's wrong. Hi, I'm your host, Drew Carey, come on down, and let's have some fun. Welcome to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. That's right the points are just like tasteful shoes to Ryan Stiles. [the audience applauds] Drew Carey: I'm sorry, was that applause? I couldn't hear it under Ryan's shoes! Welcome to 'Who's Line Is It Anyway' the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. That's right the points are just like underwear to Sharon Stone. Welcome back to Whose Line is it Anyway, where everything's made up and the points don't matter. That's right the points are just like everthing else when you own a Porsche Ryan Stiles: None of us would know, Drew... [Narrate-Barbershop-about Colin] I knew he wasn't here for a haircut. Though, if he was, it wasn't going to take that long. [scenes from a hat] Difficult questions for mommy to answer. Wayne Brady: Mommy, how come no one looks like me on "Friends"? Colin Mochrie: Mommy, how come no one looks like *me* on "Friends"? Drew Carey: If you weren't listening, I said difficult questions! Colin Mochrie: I'm adorable. [Foreign Film Dub] [speaks mock sweedish] Ryan Stiles: [translating] I love you, but I've had too many meatballs! [Scenes from a hat] Bad causes to raise money for. Ryan Stiles: Give Drew Carey a third show? Anyone? Colin Mochrie: Bathe the whales! [Scenes from a hat] Baby Drew's first words. Colin Mochrie: Colin's Bald! Wayne Brady: Hey Nurse, come on! Ryan Stiles: Pizza! Brad Sherwood: Show me them boobs! Come on! [as a pregnant mother in Quick Change] Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Wayne Brady: Change Colin Mochrie: Oklahoma! [after the Satan and the Schoolgirl Title Sequence] I smell a spinoff... [Body odor Hoedown] Anybody wanna have- wanna have a- go to the bathroom, come back in... [Sits down on the step] Chip Esten: [Starts Yodeling] Ryan Stiles: I'm faced out. I can't do shit. Drew Carey: I've got one. Ryan Stiles: Why don't you come over here and do one. Drew Carey: [Singing through Ryan] I went on a date last night, it didn't really end well. She said she wouldn't kiss me cause I had a weird smell. I said come on baby, why don't you have a heart, sure I may have B.O. but at least I didn't fart! [90 second alphabet in a resturant] Xaviera Hollander told me about this place... Ryan Stiles: Yes, he's been here some time. Drew Carey: Zigfired and Roy recommended this place to me... Ryan Stiles: Absolutely! They've all been here! Drew Carey: Bozo the Clown said... Ryan Stiles: Clowns? We never serve clowns! [Scenes from a hat] Bad names for perfume Wayne Brady: I call it..."Like Ass!" Ryan Stiles: You know you're good when you're wearing "Eau Du Pork!" Colin Mochrie: [referring to an earlier game of Song Titles when he said to Ryan "Nice Pants"] "Nice Pants", the smell of courduroy. | |
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