Statistic
- Quotes: 124963
- Topics: 1241
- Proverbs: 1023
- Searches: 38684
Fashion
Subscribe
Vote
Total 31307 votesAnd 76746 points
Quotes of Movie: "Titus" [2000]
|
In my family, goodness is just badness before its had something to drink. My dad's full of encouragement and support. It just feels like abandonment and neglect. A salamander can grow a new tail in three weeks. My dad can score new tail in three minutes. Dad can score new tail in three minutes. Juanita Titus: [yelling at Ken in a bar] I want a divorce! Ken Titus: [turning to the woman sitting next to him] Hi. | |
|
Tommy, this is Clyde. He knows how to squeeze a ball! I was raised by Ken Titus. I can see BS through eight miles of led enforced concrete through a blizzard and... hey, where are you going? Erin Fitzpatrick: Hey you! Bad news has never been broken gently in my family. Because, breaking it gently takes a few extra seconds. And who's got that kinda time? Hey, we maybe failures, but we are very busy. [flashback] Ken Titus: I got a little story I wanna tell you. Once upon a time, your dog got hit by a truck this morning! Dave's my brother, I love him with all my heart. No matter how many times I'm charged as an accessory! Dad, what's gay? Ken Titus: Son... gay... is when, two men... make God cry! Christopher Titus: The truth HURTS. [Mumbles unintelligible sentences and an expletive that was deleted] Christopher Titus: DAVE! Ken Titus: Wussy! Marriage is sacred, my dad said marriage is sacred, AAAHHHH! Dave once got so high, he actually remembered being born! Christopher Titus: When we first got together, Dad thought the relationship was a *huge* mistake. Ken Titus: [in flashback] I think this relationship is a huge mistake. Take it from a guy who's been married a *lot*. You'll regret the day you ever moved in together. You are in for a nightmare! [cut to show he's talking to Erin] Dad is a new person. A person who has learned that forgiveness is better then revenge. Next year, we'll teach him that heart attacks are not like women. You just can't keep having them! Oh, great. How much is this going to cost me? Christopher Titus (age 5): I want my mommy back! Ken Titus: $40? Christopher Titus (age 5): OK! Dad! What are you doing here? Ken Titus: I'm just here to make sure that Tommy's new girlfriend doesn't have an Adam's apple. Christopher Titus: What? You let a car fall on him. I still don't know what that taught him. Ken Titus: Cars are heavy. Erin Fitzpatrick: Everybody knows that. Ken Titus: So does he, thanks to me. [has a car with the front end jacked up] Ken Titus: Did you remember to block the wheels? Christopher Titus: I know how to change a tire, Dad. Ur. [the car falls on Christopher] Christopher Titus: What did we learn? Christopher Titus: [from under the car sounding like the wind got knocked out of him] Cars are heavy. Ken Titus: Ur. I don't go straight for the ten. I go for the six and drink 'til she's an eight! My dad don't like lies. He says it hurts people in the long race. He prefers the truth. That hurts them instantly. He especially liked this one [imitating a sad person] The most powerful person in your life is the one that knows all your secrets and all your lies. The only way to tell my Dad something is to write it on a note, and tie it to a brick, and throw it through a window. Of course, now Dad's armed with a brick. | |
| Calendar | |
 |
|
| |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
The Best Authors
- (1301)
- Ralph Waldo Emerson (714)
- Samuel Johnson (404)
- William Shakespeare (385)
- Oscar Wilde (370)
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (329)
- Benjamin Franklin (304)
- Albert Einstein (283)
- Henry David Thoreau (280)
- George Bernard Shaw (274)
Search
Pop by Searches
hayek 2 |
diary 165 life 90 delivery 56 sex 56 wives 56 Robbie Williams 54 friendship 52 skirts 52 key word 50 |
|
|
Best Quote
Worst Quote
