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Quotes of Movie: "Three's Company" [1977]

  • Chrissy:
    Eat your salad before it gets cold.

  • Chrissy:
    This breakfast is good enough to eat.

  • Chrissy:
    You know, if women ran the world there'd be none of these stupid wars!



    Stanley Roper:
    Yeah, all the countries would nag each other to death!

  • Stanley Roper:
    I came up to shampoo your rug.



    Chrissy:
    Why? Does it have dandruff?

  • Stanley Roper:
    Not in my building!



    Jack Tripper:
    I swear, it will be completely platonic.



    Stanley Roper:
    What's that mean?



    Helen Roper:
    Like you and me, Stanley.

  • Jack Tripper:
    Why did she call me a rat?



    Janet Wood Dawson:
    Because you're a pig!

  • Stanley Roper:
    What's the cake for?



    Helen Roper:
    We're celebrating.



    Stanley Roper:
    Celebrating what?



    Helen Roper:
    The tenth anniversary of my spring outfit.

  • Cindy Snow:
    If my man was cheating on me I'd break every bone in his body!



    Jack Tripper:
    You'll do that on your wedding night.

  • Chrissy:
    Jack, I have a two-part question... Why?



    Jack Tripper:
    How is that a two-part question?



    Chrissy:
    [turning to Janet] We both want to know!

  • Jack Tripper:
    Is something burning?



    Janet Wood Dawson:
    Oh NO! I left my underwear in the oven.



    Chrissy:
    Too bad hot pants are not in style.

  • Stanley Roper:
    I bet this cot told some great stories.



    Mrs. Roper:
    I wish ours could.

  • Mrs. Roper:
    Well, better get rid of the old set anyway.



    Stanley Roper:
    Set what set?



    Mrs. Roper:
    An old stove, and old husband, and they both take too long to heat up.

  • Jack Tripper:
    I have two surprises for you two girls.



    Chrissy:
    Oh, I love surprises. It's funny that you never suspect them!

  • Janet Wood Dawson:
    Chrissy, your dad is a minister, what does he usually say to couples in trouble?



    Chrissy:
    He tells them to keep the baby.

  • Jack Tripper:
    I'm hoping to open up a little restaurant for people who can really appreciate high prices.

  • Stanley Roper:
    I came up here to tell you it's three o'clock in the morning!



    Chrissy:
    Thank you.


    [closes door]

  • [about lying to his boss about having a wife]



    Jack Tripper:
    Mr. Angelino saw me talking to his daughter and now I have to be married.



    Terri:
    Boy, those Italians sure are strict!

  • Jack Tripper:
    Larry, haven't you ever thought of telling a girl the truth?



    Larry:
    Well, I figure, anyone who puts on eyeliner, fake eyelashes, and plastic nails isn't someone who wants to hear the truth.

  • Chrissy:
    Men are so unsympathetic.



    Jack Tripper:
    Baloney.



    Chrissy:
    Oh yeah? Then how come there are more women nurses than men?



    Jack Tripper:
    [pause] Because there are more men who get sick because of women.

  • Stanley Roper:
    Helen, I just wanted to prove to you that other woman found me attractive. And I proved it.



    Mrs. Roper:
    Well, fine, go to her. See if I care. I hope you're happy.



    Stanley Roper:
    I don't want to be happy; I want to be with you.

  • Chrissy:
    Jack, that smells good.



    Jack Tripper:
    Chrissy, I haven't even started cooking yet.



    Chrissy:
    Well, you better hurry up and start cooking so you can catch up with the smell.

  • Jack Tripper:
    And speaking of current events, did you read the *big* news in the paper this morning?



    Chrissy:
    The May Company is having a huge sale on pantyhose.



    Jack Tripper:
    Excuse me, Chrissy, that's not exactly a current event.



    Chrissy:
    It is so, it's going on right now.

  • Ralph Furley:
    [after hearing Terry play the Violin very badly] Who's *killing* a cat up here?

  • Helen Roper:
    Oh, why don't you go see your dentist!



    Stanley Roper:
    What for?



    Helen Roper:
    Because your toothache is giving me a pain.



    Stanley Roper:
    Then you go see the dentist.



    Helen Roper:
    The place I got a pain you don't see a dentist.

  • Stanley Roper:
    Will you put some clothes on? My wife's here!



    Helen Roper:
    Mind your own business, Stanley.



    Stanley Roper:
    What if the towel slips?



    Helen Roper:
    Mind your own business, Stanley.



    Chrissy:
    Jack, you have some shaving cream on your face.



    Jack Tripper:
    Oh, thank you.



    Chrissy:
    [shouts] No, Jack!



    Helen Roper:
    Mind your own business, Chrissy!

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