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Quotes of Movie: "The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carso
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How do you get there? Let me tell you friends, how do you get there! You take the San Diego Freeway to the Ventura Freeway. You drive to the Slauson Cutoff, get out of your car, cut off your Slauson, get back in your car, then you drive six miles till you see the Giant Neon Vice-Squad Cop. Johnny Carson: Okay, all we have is tonight and tomorrow and then that's it. Boy, I haven't used that phrase since World War II. Hello there, feature-film freaks! Art Fern here, with today's fabulous feature find. Got no job? We don't care. Got a bad credit rating? We don't care. Got a prison record? We don't care. Don't expect to pay us? THAT'S when we care! | |
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Now back to our feature film! Woody Harrelson, Woody Allen, Woody Woodpecker, Woody Herman, Herman Munster, and Dumpo the Wonder Pigeon, in "Heidi Suffers an Estrogen Avalanche." Did you ever get the feeling that the world is a tuxedo and you're a pair of brown shoes. You know, I've been depressed lately. Ed McMahon: Depressed? Aunt Blabby: [Long pause] Yes, depressed! Why do you repeat everything? I can go to Taco Bell for that! Johnny Carson: I am taking the applause sign home, putting it in the bedroom. [referring to his family in the audience and the death of Rick, his other son, in a car crash] Johnny Carson: It would have been a perfect evening if their brother Rick had been here with us, but I guess life does what it's supposed to do and you accept it and go on. [referring to remarks made that week by Vice President Dan Quayle, about single mothers and the TV show "Murphy Brown"] Johnny Carson: I really want to thank him for making my final week so fruitful. Johnny Carson: And so it has come to this. I am one of the lucky people in the world. I found something that I always wanted to do and I have enjoyed every single minute of it. Johnny Carson: You people watching, I can only tell you that it's been an honor and a privilege coming into your homes all these years to entertain you. And I hope when I find something I want to do and think you would like, I can come back and [you will be] Johnny Carson: as gracious in inviting me into your homes as you have been. Johnny Carson: I bid you a very heartfelt good night. Johnny Carson: To me, democracy means placing trust in the little guy, giving the fruits of nationhood to those who built the nation. Democracy means anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president. [Holding the envelope to his head] Shogun. Ed McMahon: Shogun. Karnack: [Opening envelope] What's the first thing you do when you hold up a liquor store? Johnny Carson: I didn't even know you were Jewish! [uproarious laughter continues] Karnack: [annoyed] Karnack is attempting to divine an answer and you're sitting here, giggling. May I have silence, please? Ed McMahon: Of course. You've had it many times before. | |
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