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Quotes of Movie: "The State" [1993]

  • Dad:
    All's fair in love and war, Timmy.



    Timmy:
    Which one is this, Dad?



    Dad:
    Both!

  • Barry, Levon:
    AAAAWWWW yeah!

  • Ms. Grant:
    But what about my husband, General Lee, and the country?



    Abe Lincoln:
    I don't care about America, all I care about is sex and booze and pills. Damn this country and everyone in it.

  • Guy in library:
    Maybe you should try pants.

  • Announcer:
    And now Louie, the guy who comes in and says his catchphrase over and over again.



    Louie:
    Hey, everybody!



    All:
    Hey, Louie!



    Louie:
    Hey, who's got something to drink?



    Woman:
    I do... over there.



    Louie:
    What is it?



    Woman:
    A martini.



    Louie:
    A martini? I wanna dip my balls in it!


    [Crowd cheers]



    Louie:
    Hey, whatcha got there?



    Flemish Terrorist #3:
    It's an M-16. What do you want with it?



    Louie:
    What do I want with it? I wanna dip my balls in it!



    Flemish Terrorist #2:
    I find him infectious and amusing this Louie character.



    Louie:
    Who's got some deviled eggs?



    Woman:
    I do.



    Louie:
    I wanna dip my balls in it.



    Man:
    Monogrammed silk handkerchief.



    Louie:
    I would like to dip my balls in it.



    Flemish Terrorist #2:
    Silence! Louie... a hand grenade?



    Louie:
    Ah hell who gives a damn? I wanna dip my balls in it!



    Flemish Terrorist #3:
    Top secret documents?



    Louie:
    I wanna file them!



    Crowd:
    Awwwwww... Louie?



    Louie:
    You've heard it all before.



    Man:
    No we haven't!



    Louie:
    You've heard it all before.



    Flemish Terrorists:
    No... *we* haven't.



    Louie:
    You've heard it all before!



    All:
    No we haven't!



    Flemish Terrorist #1:
    Say the catchphrase or the Prime Minister dies!



    Prime Minister:
    Don't say it on my account, Louie.



    Louie:
    I'm sorry, I can't say it.



    All:
    Louie! Louie! Louie! Louie!



    Louie:
    Hey, everybody...



    All:
    I wanna dip my balls in it!

  • Tammy Wilkins:
    I guess I'll keep making these, as long as I stay bored in high school... which shouldn't be a problem, 'cause high school's really boring.

  • Louie:
    I wanna dip my balls in it.

  • Kerri:
    When you're out there on the court shooting hoops, you want a shoe that's gonna give you an edge. You want a sneaker that makes piggy sounds every time you step down on the heel. And that's just what our shoes do: they make piggy sounds every time you step down on the heel. Piggy-Shoes: they make piggy sounds every time you step down on the heel. Isn't it about time your shoes made sounds like a piggy from the heel when you stepped down on 'm?

  • Kevin:
    [singing] It's a marvelous day at the porcupine racetrack; we'll watch them little porkies run! The sun, the track and porcupines!



    Kerri:
    [singing] A recipe for fun!



    Ben:
    Racing form, Mr. Johnson?



    Kevin:
    Why, thank you, Jimmy! Here, get yourself a licorice whip!

  • Michael Showalter:
    [echoing] Let's consider the gate "off-limits"... as a favor to me...

  • Kerri:
    Before I found Fluffy-Soft, my clothes weren't half as soft as they are now!



    Bear Puppet:
    Because Fluffy-Soft...


    [Kerri sees it, screams and beats the crap out of it with the iron]



    Bear Puppet:
    .

  • Ken:
    I'm aware of my... pants.

  • Various:
    I'm going to take a handful of bumpy chicks and loose them into my pants!

  • Various:
    And then what Commandant Wheeler, I'm Doug, and I may not be the brightest tool in the shed, but I had sex with my girlfriend for 2 hours once.

  • Michael:
    We all have secrets, for example... Tom, you are on...



    Thomas:
    Speed.



    Michael:
    Oh. I was gonna say 'probation'.



    Thomas:
    Whatever. hehe whatever, what-ever...

  • Captain Monterey Jack:
    Brrring! Brrrring! Hello Cheese? No - Cheese can't dial a phone!

  • Old-Fashioned Guy:
    Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I think we should worship the sun and moon as powerful gods... and fear them.

  • Barry:
    Now I know what you're thinkin'



    LeVon:
    Barry and Le Von, where did you get two-hundred and forty dollars?



    Barry:
    [shake head and put finger to mouth] Shhhhhh.



    LeVon:
    Aw yeah.



    Barry:
    Don't worry your pretty little head about it, baby



    LeVon:
    It ain't your concern.

  • Barry Lutz:
    Dr. Crank, in your many years of primate research, you've developed...



    Dr. Crank:
    Uh, research is such a restrictive term. I feel I've opened up a whole new arena of experimentation which I call "Monkey Torture".

  • Doug:
    I'm Doug and I'm out of here.

  • Ken:
    You know, I wouldn't mind having another serving of this... well what is this, fish?



    Kerri:
    Oh no, it's muppet!



    Ken:
    M... muppet?



    Kerri:
    Oh yes, we backed over one in the driveway yesterday and it just seemed a shame to let it go to waste. Now we've become quite the hunters. Would you like to see how to catch one? [


    [Walks over to open window and calls through it:]



    Kerri:
    ] Gee, I wish someone was here who could help me count to three!



    Muppet:
    [


    [Appears in the window]



    Muppet:
    ] Golly gosh! I'd be glad to...



    Kerri:
    [


    [Grabs muppet and snaps it's neck brutally]



    Kerri:
    ] See how easy?

  • Old-Fashioned Guy:
    Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but it seems to me that when the giant that holds up the earth dies, we are screeewwwed!

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